(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, revered Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I am a young practitioner who has not been forging ahead as diligently as I should. Although I have not cultivated well, I would like to summarize my experience and understandings in this report to Master, share with fellow practitioners, and improve myself through this conference.
I Came to Attain the Fa
My whole family was fortunate to begin practicing Falun Dafa in 1996. At the time I was very young. I went to the practice site to practice the exercises with my mother only occasionally, and listened to her reading Zhuan Falun. After the Chinese Communist Party started the persecution of Falun Gong in 1999, we lost the group cultivation environment, I was also quite busy at school, and I almost gave up cultivation. However, Dafa was rooted in my heart. So I studied the Fa with my mother when time permitted. On my way to school, I always recited the poem, "Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions" from Hong Yin Volume II.
When I had conflicts with my classmates at school, I always called to mind Master's teaching of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, and kept forbearing. So I got along pretty well with my classmates. As I got older, although I was not clear with regards to clarifying the truth, I always said that the "self-immolation" in Tiananmen Square was fabricated and a farce directed by Jiang Zemin's clique, when I talked about Dafa with my classmates. But I felt that my words were not very convincing and I was at a loss as to how to improve myself. Gradually I gave up cultivation. During that time, I felt completely dejected. It wasn't until later that I realized that my knowing side was sad at my leaving Dafa.
After I graduated from high school, I could not continue my studies due to finances. But I didn't have the feeling of loss. One time, I failed to guard my xinxing and quarreled with my sister. She said tearfully, "Don't you know that we came for the Fa? Your goal in coming here is cultivation. You should go back home. Your home is in the heavens." Her words awakened a remote recollection. The shock to my innermost being caused me to dissolve into tears. Only then did I realize the true meaning of life.
In the human world, I am just an everyday person. But among these many people, I obtained the Fa. I realized that I am so lucky to have obtained the Fa and have Teacher. I began studying the Fa carefully, and I read Zhuan Falun every day at home. I immersed myself in the Fa, and Dafa cleansed me. I was constantly purified and elevated.
Setting up a Materials Production Site to Fulfill My Pledge
Through studying the Fa, I realized the importance of clarifying the truth about Dafa, and thought that I should do so. With Teacher's arrangements, I came into contact with practitioners who had truth clarification materials. We cherished these materials, and each night I went out with my mother to distribute them. I have been timid from childhood and was afraid of the dark and ghosts. But when we distributed materials in residential buildings, I had to do it separately from mother, and I felt so scared. My mother and sister encouraged me. Together we recited the poem "Benevolent Might" from Hong Yin. With this we went into the buildings separately and distributed materials at each door. I gradually became more bold. At the time, we studied the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts during the day, and distributed materials at night. We persisted even in the freezing winter and sweltering summer.
We were getting mature within the Fa, and had been longing to produce materials by ourselves. In 2004, a practitioner bought a copier and brought it to my home for us to produce materials. She provided drafts of the materials each week. We produced Clearwisdom Daily and other materials, and we produced them with a pure mindset. After we ran the materials site smoothly for more than two months, the practitioner took her copy machine away. But nothing could stop us from doing the three things.
Soon after, another practitioner brought us an old computer. We knew nothing about computers, but the next day, to our big surprise, my sister managed to piece it together. After we turned it on, it booted up normally. Later, a practitioner who knew how to use computers helped us to buy a printer and set it up, and our materials production site began to operate. During the process, I ultimately enlightened to Master's words, "Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one's master." (Zhuan Falun)
As long as you have the wish and elevate in your cultivation, Teacher will arrange everything for you. Otherwise, what else could we do? Under Teacher's graceful care, our flowers gradually bloomed.
Through constant Fa study, my computer techniques also improved. I began teaching practitioners how to produce materials and fixed technical problems for older practitioners. During the process, I found many attachments that needed to be let go. Sometimes, I was unwilling to help out due to fatigue. Other times, I complained that practitioners learned too slowly and I hesitated to teach them. But when I studied the Fa well and my righteous thoughts were abundant, I realized that this was my mission. So regardless of the conditions, I will go anywhere to help practitioners when necessary. I know that Teacher has arranged the opportunities for me to improve.
One day, the practitioner responsible for technical support in our local area was arrested. I made the decision to take on his responsibility. So I focused my attention on learning techniques on the Internet and helped practitioners to solve technical problems. Sometimes, no mater how hard I tried, some older practitioners could not learn the techniques, so I searched inward and adjusted my mind. When my thinking changed, they learned the techniques soon thereafter. I felt that it was my thinking that had been wrong. How could I blame others? Occasionally, I had to leave for several days to visit some places. Whenever I ran into technical problems that I didn't know how to fix, I became worried. After adjusting my mind, the problem was fixed. This made me deeply realize that it is actually Teacher who does everything, and my work is only carried out in the human world.
Studying the Fa Insufficiently Results in Attachments
Although I was becoming more mature, I still had lots of attachments. While I was so busy producing materials, I neglected Fa study, and my xinxing became worse. I had a strong competitive mentality, and was very annoyed when others pointed out my shortcomings while producing the materials. Although I knew that my state was not right, I couldn't help but feel wronged. This lasted for a long time. I also developed the mentality of showing off and zealotry, which derived from another attachment, jealousy. Moreover, as I continued producing materials, the feeling of it being a sacred task was decreasing. I gradually treated it as simply doing things. Realizing this, I decided to study the Fa carefully to rectify myself.
I also missed many opportunities Teacher arranged for me, due to my attachments. Several times, practitioners asked me to attend Fa conferences. But I didn't go out of fear. I felt quite regretful for this, and I hope to make it up in the future.
Searching Inward When There Isn't Enough Time
When I got older, I decided to get a job. Finally I got an offer, and I thought I could do the three things at night. But the boss always asked me to work overtime, so I returned home quite late. Sometimes I went directly to bed due to fatigue. Practitioners suggested that no matter how busy I was, I could still find some time. But I still followed the fatigue, and didn't search inward and treat it with righteous thoughts. As a result, I continued working overtime almost every day. I did not have time to study the Fa this day and did not have time to practice the exercises that day. Also, I hesitated to clarify the truth about Falun Gong at my workplace. Finally I had to quit due to not having enough time. Afterwards I realized that if I insisted on studying the Fa no matter how late I got home, I would have strong righteous thoughts, and do better in clarifying the truth. I also might not have needed to work overtime every day. Teacher said in Zhuan Falun that practicing the exercises is the best way to get rest. But I just clung to sleep, searched outward, and attributed this to not having enough time. This actually was an issue of not believing in Teacher and the Fa.
Fulfilling My Mission Without Slacking Off
Recently I attended a Fa conference for young practitioners. This was my first time attending one. This was wonderful, because for a long time, I had been in contact with only adult practitioners, and not young ones. We also shared experiences with the mothers of the young practitioners. The place was filled with compassion and harmony. We talked a lot about the importance of Fa study and how to study the Fa well. I ultimately discovered that the important thing is to improve myself instead of asking others. We all searched inward with pure minds and had no intention of covering up our attachments. We also learned that young practitioners disliked studying the Fa when pressured by their mothers. The mothers found that they had not let go of their emotions and egos, and were just using parental commands on the young practitioners. They realized that they should treat them more as practitioners instead of just their children.
The young practitioners also realized their shortcomings. They found that their mothers were studying the Fa and practicing the exercises meticulously, but they were inclined to slack off. They were unwilling to listen to their mothers' suggestions, due to emotion. In the end, they realized they should show respect for their parents.
We realized that young practitioners should also take clarifying the truth seriously and do the three things well. Saving sentient beings is our mission, but some young practitioners are busy with school and don't have an opportunity to contact many people. So their classmates are the best people to clarify the truth to, as they are likely to be predestined relationships. We should cherish the path arranged by Teacher, closely follow the progress of Fa-rectification, fulfill our missions, and return home with Teacher.
The above is my cultivation experience and enlightenment on the surface. This conference was a big help to me. I welcome practitioners' comments or criticism.
Thank you Teacher and fellow practitioners!
Written on November 10, 2009
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