Thank you, Master, for providing Falun Dafa disciples in Mainland China an opportunity every year to participate in the online sharing conference, so that practitioners can learn from each other and improve together.
1. Learning to have a pure heart when making materials
I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1998. At the end of 2003, the practitioner who was distributing materials to our area was arrested by the police. After I learned about the situation from a practitioner who was good with computers, we set up the material printing center at my home.
I studied literature in school and was not interested in machines and equipment. I also did not like to study new things. My husband studied science, so he took the lead in running the material center and I was his assistant. At first, I encountered some problems when making materials. My husband and I were both stubborn, and often disagreed on how to make the best truth-clarification material. We argued a lot. When the machines malfunctioned, we complained and blamed each other. My husband ended up going to the computer store many times for repairs. Even when the machines were repaired, we still kept fighting, and the machines kept breaking down. It was a vicious cycle but we could not enlighten to what was wrong with the situation.
One day, my husband said, "As soon as I lashed out at you, the printer broke down." We then realized that the operation of the machines was directly related to how we cooperated. Although we became clear on the Fa principles, it was still difficult to maintain our xinxing at every moment, and there were still conflicts between us. When this happened, the materials could not be supplied on time, and other practitioners were unsatisfied with our work. For a while, we faced a lot of pressure from other practitioners. I told my husband, "Tell them to find someone else. I can't do it!" My husband became upset, too, and said, "It's up to you to have the will to save sentient beings. No one is forcing you!"
The local coordinator also saw that there were conflicts between my husband and me. He met with us to share on the Fa and asked fellow practitioners to send forth righteous thoughts. Other practitioners learned that we were working full-time and making materials at night, and we could only sleep two to three hours a day. They became more understanding and did not rush us so much on the materials. When I looked inward, I realized that whenever I had a conflict with my husband, I usually only thought about my personal view and notions, and did not think of making truth-clarification materials as the first priority. That was why we had fights. When I came to understand this, I told Master, "I don't want these bad things." Gradually, my husband and I became better at cooperating with each other.
I have a busy regular job and often need to work overtime. One evening, I didn't want to stay at work too late, so I decided to take the work home and work on my home computer. When I finished the work, I printed it out. It was close to midnight, and the printer was really loud. This made me think: why was I not afraid of the noise of the printer? Because I was doing my regular work, I was not afraid. So why couldn't I be dignified when doing Dafa work? It was because my heart was not pure, and I had not placed Dafa in the right position. It was because I did not enlighten to the greatness of clarifying the facts and saving sentient beings.
As I became stricter with myself when making truth-clarification materials, Dafa's power was also shown to me. On September 20, 2009, two Udumbara flowers blossomed at my house. I know this was encouragement from Master!
2. Looking inward to harmonize work environment
I work for an international company. Some of my coworkers are Buddhists, some are Christians, and some believe in other religions. Everyone is always watching what others do, especially on key occasions. It is important to act as a Dafa disciple in our daily life.
In spring 2007, because the manager of my department was out of town for a long time to support other locations, the regional director asked me to be acting manager. The headquarters sent a staff person to inspect our work. I knew we should make sure our records were complete. I told others in my department that I hoped they could finish the record review by the end of the day on Sunday. To my surprise, I was the only person who came in on Saturday and Sunday to work. (I volunteered and did not ask for overtime pay.) I spent about 30 hours reviewing documents to make sure I had a good understanding of everything. When the manager called to get an update on recent work development, I told him what happened. Two months later, an internal investigator told me that he was going to initiate a formal investigation on me. The reason was that one of my coworkers reported to the headquarters that I was dishonest and worked overtime without punching in. Our company policy said that all work was to be compensated, and no one should work overtime without reporting to one's superior. I was shocked that I was to be investigated. My eyes welled up with tears. I didn't think my volunteer work should be viewed as dishonesty. I felt hurt and wronged, and complained. After talking to the investigator, I returned to the office feeling like a wreck. When I saw everyone else was laughing, I thought, "You are happy now, as you see how miserable you are making me feel."
When I got home, I shared my thoughts with my husband. He suggested that I think about this from the perspective of the Fa and cultivation. This was a good opportunity to improve my xinxing. If something was supposed to be mine, I would not lose it. If it was not supposed to be mine, I couldn't get it even if I fought for it. Originally I thought it was not wrong for me to work overtime. After digging further, I realized I had a strong attachment to fame. Even when I hoped others would do a good job, I was fundamentally hoping that they would not embarrass me or negatively affect the performance of my department while I was acting manager. I thought I was due for a promotion, and felt vain. I wanted others to volunteer their time to work on weekends because I thought I was above them. I wanted others to work hard but did not consider the fact that everyone worked for different goals and needs. My actions lacked compassion.
Of course the person who reported me to the headquarters was jealous. But did I have strong jealousy, too? My husband said that it was a great opportunity for me to make improvements, yet I felt terrible. When we are faced with a test, it is indeed painful to give up our attachment. I heard the allegation against me received a lot of attention from top management, since this was the first time that a human resource staff member was reported by a coworker. The investigation lasted for a while. The investigator talked to others to collect evidence. Sometimes he would call me to ask a question. The result was kept secret from me. Even my direct supervisor didn't talk to me about it. When I felt that the xinxing test was too difficult, I picked up Zhuan Falun and read the section "Transforming Karma." I kept telling myself, "If you cannot love your enemy, then you cannot reach Consummation." ("Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia") Gradually, my karma was reduced. I could feel that as a chunk of karma left, my xinxing went up a little. I knew the person who reported me was around me, but I decided not to let it bother me. I thought perhaps there was a predestined relationship between us. Perhaps I treated her the same way in one of my past lives.
I acted as if nothing happened, and let this incident go. In the fall of that year, I was officially promoted to be the manager of human resources. The person who reported me is still working for me. She became a very good employee. I have paid a lot of care and attention to her development.
3. It is difficult to save sentient beings without eliminating desires
My husband became a practitioner before I did. After he began practicing, I felt a bit left out, so I started to read the book Zhuan Falun with him. One day, he went to the group practice site and I stayed home to read the book. After I read the passage on animal possession in Lecture Three, I turned around and saw a big fox rolling around in my bed, and then it disappeared. After my husband returned and heard about this, he helped me understand that this was Master removing the animal possession from me. That was when I officially began practicing.
In peaceful times, my understanding on lust and desires was just to refrain from immoral deeds and thoughts. I did not have a good understanding on the desire between a married couple.
As we began clarifying the facts and persuading people to withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party, I found it hard to save sentient beings without giving up sexual desires. I realized that desire was a demon. It could control people and take away their righteous thoughts. This was one thing the old forces could use to persecute Dafa disciples and ruin ordinary people. If a Dafa disciple has a pure mind without desires, he or she can help awaken ordinary people's righteous thoughts, so that they can more readily accept the facts. When I was clarifying the facts, I found that if I thought a man was attractive or if he found me attractive, it was very difficult to clarify the facts of the persecution to him. The desire became a wall that separated sentient beings from Dafa disciples. I also found that when desires emerged, I felt tired and lazy, and did not want to study the Fa. On a microscopic level, my body and the sentient beings in it were also tired and lazy. That is why we must eliminate the attachment to desire and lust.
In Zhuan Falun, Master said in the section "Cultivation of Speech,"
"The cultivation of body they spoke of meant that one would not commit bad deeds. Cultivation of speech meant that one would not talk. Cultivation of mind meant that one would not even think."
It is the same when it comes to eliminating desires.
To eliminate desires, we should first refrain from related actions. Although the Fa principles seemed clear, it was not easy to put them into practice. We only had one bedroom in our apartment, so my husband and I had to sleep in the same bed. It was indeed like improving xinxing amidst material interests. When one of us could maintain xinxing, we were able to pass the test. When both of us were unable to maintain xinxing, we failed together. When we became clear-minded again, we felt a lot of regret. Master said, "From a high-level perspective, everyday people are playing with mud while in society without realizing that it is dirty. They are playing with mud on earth." (Zhuan Falun) My personal understanding is that when higher-level beings see humans act this way, they think humans are the same as animals. As my husband and I do the three things well and deepen our understandings on the Fa, we are improving in this respect as well.
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