(Clearwisdom.net) I do not have frequent contact with fellow practitioners, nor do I attend group Fa study sessions very often. However, I know group Fa study is the best form of cultivation Master has given us, so I have always longed to join group Fa study and to communicate more with other practitioners in order to help myself improve as a part of improving as a whole body. That is why I have tried my best during the past few months to squeeze in time to join group Fa study. This brought me opportunities to talk to practitioners and to improve myself, but it also brought problems. I saw lethargy and disregard for safety in certain practitioners. Because of my limited xinxing, I did not realize that the issues I saw were an environment to help me cultivate myself, nor did I know they existed because I had notions that had to be whittled away! I was worried, anxious, and dissatisfied and criticized those practitioners.
My fellow practitioners had big hearts. No one got upset or defensive. Some accepted my harsh words and even praised me for pointing out the problems. My ego became inflated and thought I was doing the right thing for "unearthing" those problems. For a while I found more and more problems with practitioners, impacting them negatively. Some felt depressed and wronged, which affected their group Fa study.
I spoke with the coordinator, who kindly reminded me to look inward. I agreed and carefully examined my thoughts. To my surprise I found many egocentric notions that should have been discarded! The intention to show-off and to validating myself, of being arrogant and thinking I had cultivated well were habits difficult to discern. These are major barriers on my cultivation path, which I should not have allowed to exist. I often remind myself to be aware of these attachments and to eliminate interference from these notions. My short cultivation history did not yet permit me to temper my xinxing, although I suppressed the aforementioned attachments. They no longer showed on the surface but still existed on a microscopic level and appeared under certain circumstances.
Other attachments are relatively easier to discern, such as competitiveness, hatred, lack of tolerance, picking on others, being self-centered, using my notions to judge others, and sometimes using ordinary people's principles to judge matters. I also discovered fear and selfishness behind my obsession with other practitioners' disregard for safety. I was afraid of being affected should they get into trouble. Prior to this incident I had always thought that I had whittled away most of my fears.
I felt ashamed when I identified these attachments. I explained these notions to fellow practitioners at the next group Fa study and sincerely apologized and asked for their help. After that, I suddenly felt relaxed and joyful. My soul was filled with serenity, and the bad substances surrounding other practitioners dispersed.
Other practitioners not only didn't criticize me, they gave me lots of help. They each looked inward, which triggered a chain reaction. Practitioners who said they would never attend another group Fa study session came back, and new practitioners arrived. Practitioners who wavered back and forth became more determined, and some often came with lists of people who wanted to post their withdrawals from the CCP. Veteran practitioners and coordinators gave Dafa materials to other practitioners.
Master said,
"Improvement for a cultivator definitely doesn't result from finger pointing, nor does it result from my criticism of you as your Master or from your pointing fingers at or criticizing each other. It comes from you cultivating yourself." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles")
This is absolutely true! Practitioners looking inward and cultivating themselves brought amazing changes to our group and touched me deeply. The problems I saw before not only disappeared, but practitioners are more enthusiastic than ever to attend group Fa study. We work well together and are more diligent with doing the three things. This is just as Master said, "'After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!'" (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
I want to send heartfelt thanks to Master for his compassion, salvation, and encouragement, and I also thank fellow practitioners for kindly helping and tolerating me! Had I known looking inward would work so well, I would have looked inward a long time ago!
This is my understanding. Please point out anything inappropriate. Thank you!
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