(Clearwisdom.net) I started practicing Falun Gong just before the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began its persecution of Falun Gong in 1999. Few people knew that I practiced and it was something I didn't disclose to people. In recent years I've been fairly successful in my efforts to validate the Fa due to having a good environment and steady job, as well as help I've received from other practitioners. I participated in coordinating the creation of our truth clarification materials production center and distributed materials. I distributed DVDs and wrote words that clarified the truth on currency. I spoke to people about the persecution of Falun Gong, and managed to routinely do morning exercises and attend our weekly Fa study group. However, over time, my attachments began to slowly get the better of me, and as I relaxed my standards, and lacked diligence in my cultivation, I was easily interfered with and tribulations hit me from all angles.
One day a work colleague hastily arrived at my office. He told me that upper management was sending investigators to look into my participation in Falun Gong activities, and that it was our own group supervisor who showed personnel from upper management the DVDs I had distributed.
After hearing this news, I became rather nervous. I never would have thought that our group supervisor would do such a thing. I then realized that it was my attachment which had led to this. I also knew that it would have an impact on my current employment and my future prospects. This was going to be a big test for me, so I immediately discussed my situation with some practitioners in my area. They helped me to send forth righteous thoughts and encouraged me to clarify the truth to the people involved at my workplace, be steadfast in my belief, and to face this trial head on. I read "Teacher's Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference" over and over again, I recited Teachers article, "Greetings" (May 17, 2009), and sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil.
Although I was a bit nervous during my meeting with the investigators, I was still able to clarify the truth to them from a third-party perspective. I explained the benefits of the practice, that there was no longer a need to pay for hospital treatments, and that Falun Gong was actually welcomed by the community. I told them that the practice had spread to over one hundred countries and regions around the world. I also told them a bit about the "self-immolation" incident on Tiananmen Square. One of the investigators was busy taking down notes, while another commented that it's possible that some day China would also promote Falun Gong. During our meeting I developed the attachment of delight. I continued speaking without proper righteous thoughts, and the investigators were starting to become more and more aggressive towards me.
After our meeting they approached me several times and brought up the pretext for me to get transferred, saying that if I refused they would do such and such. They kept interfering with me. I searched inward for the solution, while in my heart resisting their arrangements.
In all these years, my fellow practitioners and I have continued to persevere in clarifying the truth and validating the Fa. We've never given up no matter how difficult the situation has been, which has resulted in a stable cultivation environment. But for this incident to occur during the final moments of Fa rectification, there must be some particular reason.
Looking back, I believe the fundamental reasons were that I didn't study the Fa enough, didn't let the Fa sink into my mind enough, and didn't search inward often enough to cultivate myself. On reflection, I found a tendency to compare myself to the everyday people around me, rather than to use the high criterion set by the different levels of the Fa. I didn't hold myself to these standards enough, and didn't cultivate my every thought. I regarded so many uncomfortable tribulations that were directed at my human heart, simply as an everyday person's discomfort. I gave up on so many opportunities to improve myself in cultivation, and this became more so as time progressed. It became more obvious that I had slacked off and could no longer keep up sending forth righteous thoughts four times a day. As I calmed myself and searched inward, I was shocked to discover that I still had many fundamental attachments.
I had attachments to fame. My success in the workplace had always given me a position of respect and superiority over others, and unknowingly I tended to show off and protect the attachment to my position. I even discovered that my initial goal for practicing Dafa was to develop a better character for the purpose of showing off. Even my wife told me that I was patronizing and condescending when I spoke to others.
I had heavy attachments to personal interest. As my income increased, it led me to become more and more interested in financial rewards. I even became attached to taking small, petty advantages to help me look better in the eyes of others.
My attachments to competitiveness and jealousy were also strong. I was in a competitive environment at work and didn't give in when I felt wronged or misunderstood, and unknowingly became more and more entangled in competition. On the surface, the accusations about me were clear reflections of my attachment to competition.
I had strong attachments to affection, and I was overly concerned for my family members, especially the children and elderly members of my family.
I had attachments to lust. Sometimes I unknowingly became attracted to the opposite sex. A while back, I was looking at photographs of women on the Internet, and couldn't let go of my desires.
I protected my own selfishness. As I searched inward I discovered that when I gave the DVD to my supervisor I was thinking about establishing personal relationships with upper management and did not have a pure mind for saving people. Although I clarified the truth, I failed to do so with a pure heart, and did so with attachments of fear. I also had attachments to comfort and laziness.
As I didn't cultivate myself well enough, I wasn't able to do well. As a result of my shortcomings what transpired was a hard lesson for me to pass. When studying the Fa and sharing experiences with other practitioners, I enlightened to the following:
(1) Cultivation is a serious matter. There mustn't be the slightest bit of carelessness when it comes to discarding human attachments. In the final moments before Fa rectification ends, no one can achieve consummation without giving up their attachments. So we must abide by Teacher's arrangements and discard all our desires and attachments through cultivation. Teacher once said,
"Every aspect of xinxing must be upgraded for you to make real progress. This is a crucial factor in improving gong potency..."
"All your attachments, as long as you have them, all have to be worn down in different settings. You will be made to stumble, whereby you will become enlightened to the Tao. This is how one goes through cultivation practice." (Zhuan Falun)
(2) As practitioners, we must adhere to Teacher's arrangements and walk the path Teacher has given us no matter what the circumstances. We shouldn't be bothered by what everyday people think or say, otherwise we will be walking into a trap set by the old forces. Teacher's arrangement has displayed the benevolence and solemnness of Dafa, and it is what we need to improve in cultivation. It is the shortest path and best possible arrangement. We must acknowledge the path set by Teacher.
(3) We should always search inward when facing problems. Take the trials as the finest opportunities for improvement. Cultivation in Dafa aims directly at the human heart. When we face our trials it's crucial that we search inward.
(4) Keep up in studying the Fa and maintain righteous thoughts. Learning the Fa well is essential. Throughout our cultivation ordinary human thoughts turn up unceasingly and wear away the effects of our righteous thoughts. If we fail to grasp and eliminate this, it will magnify and lead us to do things that do not comply with Dafa. I started memorizing Zhuan Falun and by assimilating to Dafa, I have experienced the Fa power like never before.
(5) Send forth righteous thoughts and eliminate all distracting thoughts. A practitioner once told us that distracting thoughts are a direct reflection of a cultivator's attachments, which must be discarded. They can be eliminated by periodically sending forth righteous thoughts. I got into the habit of eliminating each and every bad thought, one at a time. I eliminated them every time one came up.
(6) Clarify the truth with a pure and compassionate heart to save sentient beings. Each and every person a practitioner encounters, including those who participate in the persecution, are people meant to be saved. However, without studying the Fa enough, and with attachments of self-protection, the effect of truth clarification will not be great. This is an area where I fall short. Through cultivation, we must experience the power of benevolence, we must treasure our time and righteously clarify the truth, so as to save even more sentient beings with the benevolence and wisdom of Dafa practitioners.
(7) Treasure the support of fellow practitioners. The upright environment formed by each and every practitioner in our Fa study group has provided me with a great deal of support and encouragement. One practitioner inspired and encouraged me through sharing her experiences and helped me find my resolve. Another practitioner persuaded me to memorize the Fa. They all helped me experience the power of the Dafa practitioners' one-body.
As a practitioner I vow to study the Fa well, eliminate human desires, quickly catch up and follow our respected Teacher in walking well on the last leg of our journey.
December 9, 2009
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