(Clearwisdom.net) My whole family began to practice Falun Gong when I was in the ninth grade. We have now cultivated for ten years. I share my experiences with everyone; please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
Letting Go of Jealousy
I never fought with others for trivial gains, nor was I interested in recognition or material interests, and always felt I didn't have much to cultivate when it came to a competitive mentality and jealousy. Each time I read the jealousy passage during Fa study, I wondered why Master singled out this attachment to lecture on. To be honest, I was quite content. Later on I realized that it was not that I didn't have jealousy, but my jealousy was "so strong that it has become natural and one does not even feel it." (Zhuan Falun)
A year ago when our local practitioners were lacking technical skills, Master arranged for a new practitioner to come to us. She was technically savvy and became extremely popular among practitioners in no time. Whenever there was a problem our local practitioners would turn to her for help.
Gradually I felt ignored and was a bit upset, letting the evil take advantage of my omission. Soon, a few practitioners told me, "After all, she is still a new practitioner, and her xinxing is not yet solid. She has an attachment to doing things."
Even though I thought our practitioners shouldn't say such things, these words comforted me. Gradually I slacked off doing the Three Things. Just then, our local coordinator asked me to work with her. I realized everything was Master's arrangement, and it was time for me to let go of my prejudice against the new practitioner. I intensified Fa study and dug deep into my hidden jealousy. I came to understand that Master had arranged for her to come help us establish informational material sites. Since we are still cultivators, there were things we didn't do so well. We practitioners should point out each other's shortcomings with kindness and improve together as a whole.
Removing My Attachment to Friendship
Master asks us to be kind to others, but overdoing it would be an attachment. I learned a lesson in this regard. I have a roommate whom I've known for almost seven years and even shared a dorm room with in college. Following graduation, we found jobs at the same company and again rented an apartment together. I often clarified the truth to her, but became too obsessed with friendship along the way. I would talk to her about everything that occurred in my life and would first think of her when I found new yummy food or interesting places to play. But she didn't return the favors. She once said only love and affection for family mattered to her, and she didn't care about friendship that much. In her eyes, I was not much different from other people she met. This upset me greatly in the beginning and led to a lot of conflicts with her. I knew something wasn't right, but failed to let go of my attachments.
Only later, when I listened to Master's video lecture, "Fa Teaching Given to the Australian Practitioners," did I realize that conflicts between practitioners and non-practitioners were often a result of practitioners' attachments.
I came to see that it must be me who had done something wrong. Reflecting on what had transpired, I realized I wasn't putting myself in her shoes. Everyone's personality from birth is different. Even though she didn't say it out loud, she had always considered me one of her best friends. I was upset when she made new friends, which was exactly a manifestation of my hurt ego. As a cultivator, I could only utilize my time after work to study the Fa and make truth-clarification materials, leaving me no time to get together with her and have fun. On the other hand, she is a non-practitioner and had to find some activities to entertain herself after work. I recalled she asked me several times to go out and play, and I declined. If she couldn't spend time with me, she would of course go out and make new friends. How could I get mad at her? Once I realized this I no longer had conflicts with her. At present, I can focus on the Three Things and still maintain a friendship with her.
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Category: Improving Oneself
