(Clearwisdom.net)
1. Letting Go of the Attachment of Fear, Coordinating as One Body
In late 2004, my elder sister and I set up a family Dafa material production center. My sister did most of the printing, while I was in charge of delivering the materials. When my sister had to go to work, sometimes I would make the materials myself and help with some simple stuff. My sister downloaded some of the materials so that I could simply turn on the computer and print them. Sometimes, I would try to search for the materials to print, but unwanted things always popped up on the computer. I did not know how to deal with them. My sister knows more about computers than I do, so she told me not to touch it anymore. Her remarks were simple, but they served to hinder me. While my sister was at work, if I needed to do anything, I would ponder it for a bit and then give up, fearing that I would do something wrong and cause my sister to be angry with me. I knew this was a human notion, but I always found excuses for myself. I thought: "I have to cooperate well with my sister so that there will be no friction between us." I thought I was being considerate for the sake of Dafa. A few days ago when I was sharing my thoughts about this with another practitioner, she said to me, "Isn't that an attachment to fear?" This remark alerted me. In the evening, after I finished studying the Fa, I continued to search within myself. I realized that, while on the surface it was my sister's one remark that hindered me, in reality it was my own heart that was the hindrance. Teacher said: "Every attachment for you to remove in your cultivation practice is a wall." (Essentials for Further Advancement: "Environment") This issue has caused unnecessary losses on my path to save sentient beings. I am grateful that Teacher prodded me using fellow practitioner's words, allowing me to find my own attachment, the root of the hindrance. Once I let go of this human notion, I really felt that my heart was light, as if I had just broken through a shell.
2. Believing in Teacher and Dafa, Breaking Through the Tribulations from my Family
My husband is an alcoholic. He is just like the person described by Teacher, who would not raise his rice bowl at a meal if there was no alcohol. When he was awake, he would say nothing no matter what you'd say to him. Once he was drunk he would start picking on me. Whether it was some unhappiness at work, or if he was mistreated somewhere else, he would come home and drink then start his brawl. Even if I left him alone I could not escape his abuse. He would curse me or hit me. Sometimes when I had had enough, I would argue with him. Then he would say, "Is this how you practice Falun Gong? Better stop practicing tomorrow!" Then he would spit out a slew of dirty words, as if I should be subjected to his abuse since I was a practitioner. In the beginning I only knew to endure the humiliation and shed tears in private. I always thought that I probably owed him from my previous life, so I had to pay him back in this lifetime. However, the more I gave in, the more he pressed on. He would spend obscene amounts of money on smoking, playing mahjong, and getting drunk, while I assumed all the housework. Yet he was still not satisfied. He not only beat me but also our son. Our son is now 10 years old. He started cultivation with me when he was small and had shown the supernormal abilities given by Dafa in many areas. However, my husband was still against our son practicing Dafa. To put it one way, my son was beaten one side and down the other by his dad. We were trapped in this tribulation over and over again. I searched inside myself to look for any wrongdoing on my part. I also shared with fellow practitioners and thought that the old forces were using my husband to interfere with me and destroy my cultivation. So I changed my behavior and attitude towards my husband. I started to communicate with him and to reason with him. Meanwhile, I sent forth righteous thoughts to cleanse all the evil elements behind him. My sister and fellow practitioners also helped me in this. At the same time, in my day to day actions, I proved to my husband that Dafa is good and let him know that all Dafa practitioners are good. He gradually realized that Dafa was here to save people. One day he asked to quit his Young Pioneer membership. He said that the person he admired most was Teacher. This experience has fully shown me that as long as we have faith in Teacher and Dafa, we can overcome all tribulations.
In cultivation I went through many tribulations, not only with my husband but also with my mother-in-law. Those tribulations were even more painful. My mother-in-law practiced almost every school of qigong, which eventually caused her to be out of her mind. She often said illogical things. Whenever she saw me she would be grim. She would be very angry if she saw that her son was good to me. She often meddled in affairs between my husband and me. She always told her son the I was going to do him harm. In the beginning, especially in tandem with the evil Communist government propaganda, my husband believed his mother. He interfered with me practicing Falun Dafa. With compassion I always told him about the beauty of Dafa. He observed me for some time and saw that I did not appear to do him any harm, so he let this thing go. Later, my mother-in-law came back from another city and became increasingly insane. She was often confused, screaming and shouting at midnight, or singing all night long. She would bring back bags and bags of garbage and put them on her bed, or use her bed as her toilet, etc. I did not abandon her or belittle her, but treated her according to the requirements of Dafa. Sometimes, she would get up in the morning and start cursing me. I just treated this as a test of my xinxing and did not argue with her. When I saw that she had come to her senses, I would talk to her, telling her, "Human beings are the essence of all beings. How could you be controlled by animals. How pitiful!" I asked her to recite "Falun Dafa is good." She would not do so, but I was not angry. Rather, I gradually persuaded her in a way that was in line with her thinking. I said, "To be a person with Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance will bring you good fortune. Look how wonderful these three words, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance are. You are your own self. You should think that evil will never overcome righteousness." Eventually, my mother-in-law took in my words. I persuaded her using my compassion, so she realized that all Dafa practitioners were good people and harmless. She is now no longer against Dafa. Although sometimes she still becomes confused, she is mentally clear most of the time now.
I have gone through these tribulations in my cultivation, as well as even more bitterness and sorrow that I will not mention here. Teacher has toiled over me all these years so that I could come to where I am today. I am grateful that Teacher has made me more mature and rational. I will treasure this predestined relationship and this opportunity that comes only once in millions of years and save more sentient beings.
February 7, 2009
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Category: Clarifying the Truth
