(Clearwisdom.net) I am an elderly Falun Dafa practitioner who does not understand technical things. Whenever I had a technical problem I asked for help from practitioners who are good with technology. Because we have such practitioners in our area that will come to help after a phone call, my problems are usually solved quickly. Objectively, the technical problems I had were probably simple to solve for fellow practitioners. Subjectively, however, it was a big issue, and if not solved in time, would affect my work of Fa validation. After a long time I formed a strong notion. Whenever I encountered technical problems, my first thought was to look for practitioners with technical skills, and I unknowingly formed a dependency and an attachment.
One morning I urgently needed to get information to make truth-clarification materials from a hard disk that had not been used for a long time. I was having problems so I thought I should ask a practitioner to come and have a look. I made a phone call and asked her to come over. She replied that she would come soon. I then put down my work, relieved as I waited for her to come. When she did not arrive by noon, I thought that she must be busy and probably had some urgent things to do. I thought that she would surely come the next day. I then did other Dafa work.
She did not come on the second day or the third day. I thought, "Previously the longest time I waited was two days. This time I guess is she too busy and forgot about my phone call." On the morning of the fourth day I was a bit worried and called again and asked, "Do you have time today?" She then asked me, "Are you worried?" Upon hearing that, I blurted out unexpectedly, "Why would I call you if I was not worried?" I then hung up the phone.
After I hung up, I felt very regretful. How could I talk to her like that? I had never acted like that before. I said the words casually, but how would she take it? I realized the hidden, uncompassionate, complaining, irritable, and unkind heart expressed in my words. Then I thought about her words, "Are you worried?" The words immediately awakened me. My mind was shocked, but I was sober and calm.
I began to look inside as I reprimanded myself. I discovered that, since I had started cooperating with technical practitioners, solving technical problems, and validating the Fa, I subconsciously had developed a strong reliance on those with technical skills. Due to this dependence, in doing the three things and validating the Fa, I neglected to "consider others first when taking any action" (Zhuan Falun)
When I needed the technical practitioner, but she did not come as I wished, I used a selfish heart to analyze, complain, and even harm this practitioner. Due to this attachment, I was inconsiderate towards this practitioner.
In an area with few technically skilled practitioners, how many technical issues, technical developments for Dafa projects and things outside of technology need to be done in a day? There must also be time for individual practice. All of these require time. Due to my attachment of dependence, I used up other's valuable time.
What large burdens and troubles I've added to technically skilled practitioners! We had such experiences in our area before. Of course, this is not to say that we do not request help from these practitioners, but we should not form a dependence and attachment.
Take my area as example. If practitioners are all like me and depend on technically skilled practitioners, not only will they be too busy, it will also interfere with their practice. To put it seriously, it is destroying these practitioners! From this experience, I enlightened that every practitioner should abandon his or her dependence on technically skilled practitioners. This is very important. It not only gives them more time for Fa-rectification projects, it is also being truly responsible to them and to our Fa-rectification work. Generally speaking it is being responsible to Dafa, and thus harmonizing what Teacher wants. Fellow practitioners should assimilate to the righteous enlightenment of selflessness and altruism.
When I enlightened to this, the practitioner came over soon after to help me. I learned that, after my first call, she received a call from a practitioner in the remote countryside that required urgent attention. She felt that the technical problem I had was easy to solve, didn't require much time, and that she could do it any time. The practitioner in the countryside normally had time-consuming problems. She happened to have a break from work, so she thought she could help this practitioner without affecting her work. She then put my problem second. When she felt I was worried she also became worried and took time off work to help me.
After I heard this, I was very regretful. I said, "I will try to ask for your help less from now on, and look for consultation on the Internet to save you more time." She quickly said, "That's okay, you can still call me. Have you thought it through? Asking Minghui practitioners to help with issues I can solve will cause them much trouble. Won't that cause chaos? Moreover, we can share about the problem; this is the practice format Teacher has left us. Of course I'll come if there is any technical issue. Even if there is no technical issue, I still need to find time to exchange views with you. I am not wasting my time today. You also helped me identify my xinxing problems. The technical problem you have is indeed simple for me, but to you who do not know technology, it is actually very difficult. I will certainly act according to Teacher's requirements and not be complacent about anything."
This is my personal understanding. Please point out anything incorrect.
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Category: Improving Oneself
