(Clearwisdom.net) In cultivating for 10 years, I have studied the Fa every day. Even so, I also know that the reason I did not improve my cultivation level is that I did not look inwards to search within myself and that I did not truly cultivate myself well. However, even when I met with certain situations, I was still not able to look within myself.
For many years, I have hosted a Fa study group at my house. I am sometimes very perplexed with the words and actions of some of the fellow practitioners that I come into contact with frequently. A practitioner would say in front of me that today she suspected that a certain practitioner had an affair, and tomorrow she would say that she suspected another practitioner had attachments to lust and desire. In the end she herself was unwilling to get in contact with the first practitioner and was unwilling to study the Fa with the second practitioner. As time passed, I often felt very worried about the tension that she had caused between herself and other practitioners. I tried to share experiences and my opinions with her on various occasions but instead it resulted in misunderstanding.
Last summer when we were studying the Fa together, I suddenly realized that my attachments to suspicion were very strong. It has manifested very intensely. I often suspect that my husband is having an affair. I also suspect that my son is wasting money in school. All my suspicions became realities. My husband had two affairs in the last 10 years. My son did not do well at university. The evil old forces created many false manifestations for me to see. Obviously, the stronger my attachment to suspicion, the stronger I seek things resulting in these occurrences.
If I think too much about it, it will become an attachment. Aren't I then seeking these things because of my attachments? Thus, I allowed these unrighteous things to exist in the dimensions around me. How could the evil old forces not take advantage of this loophole? They can easily create these things to test me. During these tribulations, I did not get over it for a painful ten years. Today, I have finally found the real reason. When I realized this, I immediately sent forth righteous thoughts to eradicate all my thought karma and perceptions that are behind the attachment to suspicion. I also eradicated the evil lifeforms and elements that strengthened these attachments. After completely eradicating these attachments, I changed myself and thus my relationship with my husband and son improved. They have helped me clarify the truth.
Thinking back over the past ten years and the behavior of the practitioner that was shown to me, wasn't this the arrangement of our compassionate Master to help me see my attachments? It was for me to get rid of this attachment. No wonder the outcome of our sharing was not good even after several sessions. During that time, I frequently thought that there was something wrong with the form I used to share my experiences and wondered whether my mentality was in line with the Fa. I did not see the behavior of that practitioner as a reflection of myself.
After that I used the words and actions of my fellow practitioners as a mirror to reflect myself. In the process, I discovered that I had many attachments and a heart full of human emotions, for example, jealousy, pride, materialism and fear, etc. They are all like mountains of cement in my dimensional field. They seriously interfered with my doing the three things that I am required to do. I am steadfast in my faith in Master's Fa. With fellow practitioners acting as my reflection, in my future cultivation, I will quickly get rid of these attachments, and become a genuine Fa-rectification period practitioner.
April 2, 2009
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Category: Improving Oneself
