(Clearwisdom.net) I read a practitioner's sharing article today on "Minghui Weekly" entitled "A Dafa Practitioner's Position at Home" (http://www.clearwisdom.net/emh/articles/2009/6/12/108222.html). I remembered some of my own similar experiences and would like to share them with fellow practitioners.
In the past, I had a bad temper. I felt that my husband was not as good as me in many respects, and that he should listen to what I said. My husband was obedient and did whatever I told him to. I pushed him further and would beat or kick him if I was slightly dissatisfied with him. I spoke to him in a loud voice. After awhile, I got used to this behavior, and it even seemed normal.
After I began practicing Dafa in 1996, some attachments were easy to remove, but it was hard to change my bad temper. I realized that such behavior was not right, yet I was unable to remove it through cultivation. One day I said to him, "How much value can you get by watching TV? If you have nothing to do, come and cultivate with me." He muttered, "You should hurry up to cultivate well. You have cultivated for several years, but I haven't seen much change in you (referring to my temper)." This made me angry and I was about to reply negatively when I suddenly remembered that Master teaches that female practitioners should be gentle, so I lowered my voice and said, "Dafa is magnificent. I don't do well, but you should cultivate yourself--why should you look at me?" When he saw that I wasn't shouting at him, he said, "My whole body trembles when I hear you call my name." I could not help laughing, and remembered what Master said,
"If you aren't kind and gentle, men will be afraid of you when they see you, (laughter) and you won't be able to have the love or even the family affection that you're supposed to have." ("Teaching the Fa at the Eastern U.S. Fa Conference")
I calmed down and thought carefully about it. From the time I had met him to the present, I had never treated him nicely. I almost never looked at him directly. The more he listened to what I had to say, the more I looked down on him. But I never considered his feelings, so even my good-looking face became ominous. I made up my mind to eliminate the poisonous elements that the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) had brainwashed me with and listen to Master's teaching:
"In other words, if you're a woman, you must act like one, and be kind and gentle. Only then can you gain respect and love from men." ("Teaching the Fa at the Eastern U.S. Fa Conference")
"As a cultivator, you have to be a good person wherever you are, and you have to be considerate of others--so in the home why can't you be considerate and understanding of your own husband? Aren't we to leave the future mankind with the best things?" ("Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students")
I was no longer arrogant, and when a problem arose, I could calmly discuss it with him. My changes made a big difference to my family. In 2001, I lost my job, and in 2002, my home became a truth clarification materials production site. With Master's support, our site kept growing bigger and better. I can't count the number of materials and Dafa books we have provided to other practitioners. My husband fully supports me and is no longer obedient, cowardly, or afraid of trouble. His male character that I had suppressed has begun to emerge. He helps me with chores like repairing the printer and buying printing materials, and he clarifies the truth to his colleagues and clients, and gives them DVDs. After he finishes his work, he uses his time to help me, and in the evening, he studies Dafa with me and goes out to distribute informational materials.
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Category: Improving Oneself
