(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, esteemed Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I am a court-appointed police official who became a Falun Gong practitioner after having participated in the persecution of Falun Gong.
Working in a Forced Labor Camp Awakened My Conscience
Soon after the persecution of Falun Gong began on July 20, 1999, the first of its practitioners arrived at the forced labor camp where I worked. Because I knew nothing about Falun Gong, I believed the CCP's lies and thought that Falun Gong participated in politics and opposed the government. Therefore, I also participated in the persecution of Falun Gong practitioners.
To change practitioners' beliefs in Falun Gong, the strict discipline became more intense. The television and radios in the camp broadcast articles slandering Falun Gong and footage of well-known practitioners being "transformed." To "transform" practitioners, guards were forced to brainwash them, and we were expected to achieve a transformation rate of more than 90 percent.
One day I observed a young practitioner who was being subjected to forced labor in her cell, kneeling for a very long time at night, with her hands pressed together in front of her chest. She had a painful expression on her face and she looked as if she was in despair. I couldn't understand what she was doing, but I wanted to learn about Falun Gong.
The practitioners in the camp once did the exercises together and the guards were at a loss at how to stop them. They called on the manager who brought more guards to stop them. The manager ordered the guards, who were holding batons and clubs, to encircle the practitioners. It was really frightening. The manager directed the practitioners to squat down with their hands above their heads. Suddenly one of the boards the manger was standing on broke. As he was about to fall, a practitioner close to him stretched out his arm to try to hold him up. This made me wonder, as the practitioners showed no hatred, despite how they were treated.
Higher authorities demanded that the "transformation" methods be intensified. The strict discipline methods gradually increased in intensity. Anyone who disobeyed rules or practiced the exercises was handcuffed to a chair for a week. Those holding hunger strikes were force-fed with powdered milk or corn porridge, which was spiked with lots of salt. Those who appeared sick were tied up and given injections. One firm young practitioner was handcuffed to a bed for two weeks and not allowed to use the toilet, plus the force-feeding tube was left in her nose for the entire two weeks. We were often tired and sweat profusely, but could not understand why the practitioners behaved like they did.
Reborn in the Early Stage of Practicing Falun Dafa
When none of our tactics was successful, one cadre said, "Let's do something different. Everyone gets the Falun Dafa book by Mr. Li Hongzhi. See if you can find anything in the book that would help us 'transform' them." In the beginning, It seemed that the book talked about teaching people to be good, and I felt there was nothing wrong with that. I was gradually drawn into the Fa principles and used every spare moment to read it. One night, the book appeared red. I was very surprised and thought, "Why is this book so mysterious?" Practitioners told me mysterious things, but it was like listening to stories. I was now seeing it with my own eyes. I became more and more willing to exchange views with practitioners when I was on duty.
I increasingly realized the book's preciousness. I read whenever I had time. One day when I was reading, a glossy green mountain suddenly appeared at the bottom corner of the book. There was a hole in the mountain. But when I looked again, the picture had disappeared. I knew I had really seen it.
By accident, I found several articles by Master Li and read them at home. The more I read, the more I felt that Falun Gong was righteous and taught people to do good deeds. I kept reading and now felt that Falun Dafa should not be slandered. I thought that I should go to Beijing to demand justice for Falun Gong. My human side immediately put down the articles. I dared not read any further. I wondered how I, a labor camp guard, could have such thoughts? I had a job and a family!
Then I kept reading. Teacher said,
"Mankind! Awaken! The vows of Gods in history are being fulfilled. The Dafa is judging all beings. What path a person takes in life is his own choosing. One thought a person has might determine his future.
Treasure and cherish it: the cosmos's Fa-principles are right in front of you."
("Further Comments on Superstition" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
After I read this, I felt that I could let go of all human feelings and attitudes, that I had come for the Fa. Teacher said,
"In the past, the Tao School held that a master selects a disciple instead of a disciple choosing a master." (Zhuan Falun)
I understood that I had to cultivate, and I wanted to be wise, but I was well aware of what I would face in such a terrible environment. I said in my heart, "Teacher, I have decided to take this path, even if I need to walk a knife's edge."
After I made my decision, I studied the Fa whenever I had a spare moment. I found within myself earth-shaking changes mentally and physically. My workplace was saving up for the purchase of homes, and my colleagues urged me to get a bigger one. I said it was not necessary. I realized that I had obtained Falun Dafa, and I had to quickly improve and return to my real home. I stopped drinking and playing mahjong, stopped cursing so much, and no longer attended everyday people's activities. Sickness symptoms appeared and gradually vanished. I no longer had headaches, enteritis, kidney stones, cervical vertebra problems, arthritis, or other illnesses.
The changes within me scared my family. Due to their fear of the Communist Party, they opposed and obstructed me at every turn. My husband felt helpless. My family tried to persuade me, saying, "You can't oppose the Party," "Don't do things that are banned by the government," "Dictatorship of the proletariat," "The Party pays you," "You didn't 'transform' others, but were 'transformed,'" and so on. I remained unmoved. Finally they said indignantly, "If you insist, we will no longer consider you part of the family." I said, "It's up to you." They closed the door and left.
The more I immersed myself in the Fa, the more I felt Teacher's protection and encouragement. I dreamed that a sturdy apple tree grew in the middle of the road in my hometown, and it had many big apples. I enlightened that they were the fruits of virtue, which grew from the righteous law and Tao cultivation. When I was not diligent, I dreamed that I carried two big bags and had a child with me. I ran very fast towards the train station, but after arriving at the ticket counter, the ticket collector closed the gate. I saw two practitioners on the train, waiting for it to depart. When I woke up, I reminded myself to strive forward, teach the child well, and reserve time to study the Fa and practice the exercises with my child daily.
Passing Every Test, Evils Everywhere
The suppression escalated and the situation turned grim. The torture of steadfast practitioners became more brutal in efforts to make them write the guarantee statement, promising to renounce the practice. Practitioners were forced to write reports that stated that they would remove Falun Gong from their thoughts. Practitioners who had given up the practice assisted the guards and offered advice, and criminals monitored the practitioners. They forced practitioners to sit on tiny stools, watch television programs slandering Falun Gong, not talk, not close their eyes, wear uniforms, work, and shout slogans. Sounds of yelling, cursing, and pitiful cries from the beatings were heard unceasingly.
The pressure on me was tremendous, especially after they noticed that I was not actively persecuting practitioners. The brigade head discovered people practicing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts when I was on duty. He punished me financially. It was like Teacher said,
"Perhaps in the future you may be slapped in the face twice, and you will lose face in front of someone whom you least want to see it. It is to see how you will deal with this issue and whether you can endure it." (Zhuan Falun)
When thinking of the Fa, my heart beat fast and my face turned red. Sometimes I realized it, so I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil elements. Then I discovered that my colleagues and prisoners were monitoring me. I told myself to be careful and was certain that I would only take the path arranged by Teacher. Teacher said,
"Pay attention: no matter how busy you are, you cannot neglect Fa-study. This is what fundamentally assures that you move toward Consummation and do Dafa work well." ("To All Students at the Nordic Fa Conference" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
"A Dafa disciple completely opposes everything arranged by the evil old forces." ("Dafa is Indestructible" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I studied the Fa more and send forth righteous thoughts whenever I found time. When I woke up at night, I immediately got up to study the Fa or practice the exercises, regardless of what time it was. Sometimes I felt that sleepiness was trying to overcome my resolve, so I sent forth righteous thoughts. My throat felt so dry and it was difficult to breath. I had tears in my eyes and felt as if needles were touching my eyes and ears. I kept sending forth righteous thoughts and didn't let the evil take advantage of my loopholes.
Respectfully Honoring the Pledge
With more Fa study and sharing with fellow practitioners, the Fa principles gradually became clear to me. I understood what needed to be done. I had to help practitioners when they faced tribulations and strengthen their righteous thoughts.
"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." ("Drive Out Interference" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Steadfast practitioners were excited after reading the Fa, and confused practitioners, after reading the Fa, promptly wrote solemn declarations, stating that they would continue with the practice.
Efforts to "transform" practitioners continued relentlessly. Some of the practitioners could not hold up under the torture and gave up the practice. The torture methods were many, including tying the hands behind the back and hitting the face with electric batons. A steadfast practitioner was beaten inhumanly. Yet, many remained steadfast in their faith. I burst into tears upon seeing fellow practitioners' faith in Teacher and Dafa and their firm righteous thoughts. They overcame the test of endurance. It was indeed like Teacher said,
"In this situation, the evil's performance has completely turned into the venting of personal resentment by the malicious people, using the power in their hands and employing the most base means."
"Since the only evil remaining in the current Fa-rectification has seen Dafa disciples' unshakable, steadfast faith, it has gone mad and completely lost its senses." ("Coercion Cannot Change People's Hearts" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Some practitioners were disabled from the torture and some had bruises all over their bodies. Upon seeing this, I worried and decided to expose the persecution. Fellow practitioners wrote down the persecution facts at night, despite being monitored by on-duty guards and criminals.
Many practitioners were released without having renounced the practice. The authorities feared public exposure. After each and every exposure, the torture lessened. I knew I must expose all that practitioners are suffering, until the evil is eliminated. I sent righteous thoughts and eliminated interference. I felt that evil was everywhere at that time, even in the air. There were times when my righteous thoughts were not strong. I immediately realized that this was wrong. I told myself, "I am a Dafa practitioner and thoughts about Teacher's Fa increases righteous thoughts." Teacher said,
"I am rooted in the universe. If anyone can harm you, he or she would be able to harm me. Put simply, that person would be able to harm this universe." (Zhuan Falun)
There were also moments that I could not pass the den of evildoers, especially when I saw fellow practitioners being beaten and handcuffed. The torture happened daily. I was under tremendous pressure and wanted to leave. I would then recall Teacher's Fa,
"Cultivation is hard. It's hard in that even when a terrible calamity strikes, even when evil madly persecutes, and even when your life is at stake, you still have to be able to steadfastly continue on your path of cultivation without letting anything in human society interfere with the steps you take on your path of cultivation." ("Path" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Remembering my cultivation path over the past ten years, I recall the sadness and tears, as well as thankfulness. Teacher protected me and continually gave me hints. I am such a lucky practitioner! Teacher cleansed me and let me return to my true self.
No words can express my gratitude toward Teacher. I can only be diligent and do the three things well to repay Teacher. At the same time, I hope that those who gave up Dafa will return soon to the practice.
I also hope that the evildoers, guards, and police who are still participating in the persecution come to understand the truth so that they and their families will have good futures.
Thank you, Master. Thank you, fellow practitioners.
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