(Clearwisdom.net)
I started practicing Falun Dafa on December 4, 1995. Looking back, I am not the same person that I used to be. I thank Teacher's infinite compassion and mighty virtue that gave me hope in life, in the practice, and in becoming a better person. The following is my cultivation experience.
1. Memorizing Zhuan Falun Paragraph by Paragraph
The first time I tried to memorize Zhuan Falun, it took me three years with practitioners around me constantly reminding and pushing me. Now I am reciting the book from memory a second time, and it is a lot easier for me. I also discovered that it is impossible for me to stop what I am doing.
Several of the practitioners in my study group were persistent, and did very well memorizing the teachings. They shared their experiences with us. However, in the past few years, most of the practitioners stopped reciting the book after a couple of rounds. Our cultivation state also seemed to stop improving as a whole. For example, we couldn't successfully rescue practitioners, and fell into the routine of just making and delivering fliers.
We invited practitioners from other areas who did the three things well to share their experiences with us. One of them told us that at one point in time, all practitioners in his town were diligently memorizing the teachings. Dafa materials and slogans could then be seen all over town and no one attempted to destroy them. Another told us how his local group was wholeheartedly involved in activities with sentient beings and arrested practitioners. The group had rescued 19 out of 20 arrested practitioners in the past several years. One told us about the importance of coordinators, and how they should take responsibility. Thanks to Teacher's compassion, we learned about what to do to improve ourselves.
First, during our group study, we started to memorize the Fa teachings before we read. We put together sharing articles about memorizing the Fa from Clearwisdom.net, and distributed them amongst ourselves. We memorized one or two paragraphs of the Fa before we read it, then sent righteous thoughts and shared our experiences. It is better not to memorize too much at first, because it places too much pressure on the beginners and the elderly. For a group of practitioners who do better in memorizing the Fa, the group can split into 2-3 subgroups. Each subgroup, instead of individuals, takes turns in memorizing the Fa. This accelerates the process, and leaves more time for Fa study, sending righteous thoughts and sharing. Also, we split time properly between memorizing the Fa and studying Teacher's other lectures.
My group had more elderly practitioners. During the first six months, most of us did not accept the idea of memorizing the Fa. Gradually, we saw that many other practitioners were doing it, and heard them talk about wonderful experiences and feelings while memorizing the Fa. I also told them that if we could memorize two to three paragraphs a week, then we could memorize the entire book in three years. I told them that if we had started doing it when we first started the study group, we would have already finished memorizing the book at least once. The practitioners in my group realized that it wasn't difficult, and we have been doing so ever since.
We started a coordinator group, since felt that we did not need an individual coordinator. We followed the ideas of whichever practitioner was enlightened to the good and righteous things. Gradually we were able to rescue more practitioners.
2. Only Righteous Thoughts Can Eliminate Interference
Once, I went out to clarify the facts about the persecution, but the police found me and followed me home. I was then followed wherever I went and couldn't contact other practitioners, nor do Dafa work freely. Hence, I had a lot of time to memorize the Fa and look within. I realized that I had a lot of attachments - my attachment to money (my purse was stolen and I began caring about money because I was poor), to sentiment and fame. I was surrounded by the police and my own attachments. Other practitioners tried to help me; I told them, "Dafa can rectify the universe" ("Definitive Conclusion" from Essentials for Further Advancement), and that I would be able to pass this test myself.
One day I woke up with a strong feeling that the police were going to arrest me. I was thinking about escaping. I read Hong Yin II, hoping that Teacher would tip me on how to react. I wasn't enlightened to anything. I cleared my thoughts and let go of the feeling of fear, because I knew that it wasn't part of me. I said to Teacher respectfully, "I will not become destitute. I want to completely negate the old forces and the tribulations they've arranged. The old forces are not qualified to test and persecute the righteous, selfless and compassionate practitioners. Falun Dafa can rectify the universe and who dares to interfere!" After I regained my righteous thoughts, I gathered some Dafa materials and left home. I delivered the materials, and helped a person to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and affiliated organizations. I saw a police officer following me, but I knew that he could not touch me. That day, a guardian surrounded me and shouted at the evil forces: "Who dares!"
Several days later, the police were still following me. A practitioner risked his safety and came to visit me. We shared, and I realized what my problem was. I did not want help from other practitioners, and wanted to pass the test myself - it seemed that I had righteous thoughts, but in fact, I had a strong desire to validate myself. I was attached to passing the test, and not focused on saving sentient beings, acting selfishly when my safety was at stake. I was saving myself and not the sentient beings. After I realized this, the evil forces disappeared along with the police. Later, I wrote a letter to the local police department with all my best wishes, explaining the actions against Falun Gong practitioners.
Prior to being followed by the police, I had a dream. I was late for a test, and many of my classmates were almost finished with theirs. The assistant test monitor wouldn't let me in, but the main monitor did. During the test, there were several questions that I had no idea about their meaning. After all I had been through, I realized that the monitor was actually Teacher. Teacher cherished me as a practitioner and still gave me what I needed. I had a brand new understanding of what Teacher said:
"How easy to say, it is, yet so hard to really see,
For cultivation is like climbing steps.
Only up high does the mist of delusion clear,
There the magnificent sight appears--miraculous, indescribable!"
("Delusion" from Hong Yin, translation version A)
My attachment of feeling that I did very well, and my perception that I was high above in the practice went down a lot. I realized that I was very limited in my practice.
3. Be Compassionate to Fellow Practitioners
When I started to coordinate activities, I felt that to validate the Fa better and save more people, we should work well with one another. We should not let the old forces use our human notions, and arrange for us to fight and segregate ourselves from one another. We need to open our hearts and have the "compassion that melts steel." Only when we act this way, can we form a strong group with righteous thoughts and compassion.
I am not good with words. After I started coordinating efforts, a practitioner whom I had been working with started to point out my problems. This practitioner did very well in memorizing the Fa, was good with words, capable of doing Dafa work, eager to save people and honest. For six months, this practitioner never stopped pointing out my mistakes in public. He believed that I should not be a coordinator. Our group study session could not begin until he finished talking about my mistakes. He could catch and point out every attachment in my thoughts.
Facing this practitioner, my attachments surfaced: I wanted to fight, was recalcitrant, felt high above, wanted to look good, wanted others to change for me, and was unkind. Every time after he finished criticizing me, this practitioner apologized for his jealousy. However, he continued to act that way. He also criticized two other new coordinators. I shared this issue with other practitioners. We knew that this practitioner wasn't kind, but we were not compassionate enough to resolve the issue. We wanted to remove him because he occupied so much time blaming others, and slowed down our progress in validating the Fa. However, we decided to bring him back to our group because he had many good features, and that he should be allowed to cultivate as well.
This continued until I finally identified my thinking, "He is wrong and there are things about him that did not conform to the Fa." I was trying to find his faults, despite the fact that I was at fault. I calmed down and looked within. I understood that I was protecting myself, and that my thoughts came from my own selfishness. I wanted to be kind towards the practitioner when he was accusing me, but I was never kind. I was not compassionate to him and his attachments, but was actually attached to his attachments!
I started to think about how to mend the problem between that practitioner and myself. Perhaps because this thought was pure and righteous, Teacher gave me something I've never had before - the compassion that melts steel. I was able to change myself unconditionally, and be considerate of him. Several days later, he called me. He said that he had been looking for me, and wanted to tell me that he was sorry for "digging into the bull's horn" and giving me a hard time. We both wanted to do well as a group and to rescue more practitioners.
Every problem between us was gone, and the uneasy feeling no longer existed. Both of us improved and were able to work together as one body. This could not have been achieved by telling him to look within, persuading him, or even severely criticizing him.
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