(Clearwisdom.net) Practitioner A didn't accept my pointing out his shortcomings, and instead criticized me for criticizing others, saying that I was attached to self-interest. Upon returning home, I discussed this incident with my son (a practitioner) in an agitated tone. Practitioner A's shortcomings of not accepting criticism was very strong. I told her for her own good, so how does that indicate that I'm attached to my own self-interest? If I saw her shortcoming but didn't point it out to her, would that mean that I had no attachment? Wouldn't that be being irresponsible to my fellow practitioner?
My son listened to me quietly and waited for me to finish. Then he said calmly, "Another way to look at it is... If you are really only out for her own good, then you won't be angry."
His words were like shedding light by breaking the window. I suddenly understood. I was shocked and thought, "Yes, why am I so angry?" I quickly looked inward regarding this problem, and I realized that I was angry because practitioner A didn't give "me" recognition. He also wronged "me." Wasn't it right that practitioner A said that I am concerned about my self-interest? Wasn't he right?
By this time, my son had already sat in front of his computer and become busy with his things. I looked at his side profile and realized that he had already immersed himself in his work, and he seemed to have completely forgotten about the topic of our conversation. In comparison, I was indignant and argued with practitioner A for a long time. Even when I came home, I was still fuming. The difference in our levels was apparent.
Master requires us to share our cultivation experiences and elevate as a whole body, and I am following Master's requirements. I was a bit embarrassed when I disturbed my son again, "If I wasn't attached to myself, then if I saw a fellow practitioner's attachment, should I not mention it?"
My son came over and sat by my side. His tone was still so calm, "I'll give you an example: My classmate has a problem. I will let him talk about his opinion and listen to where the problem came about. Then I will point out the crux of the problem and raise critical questions one step at a time to help him think through the issues. In this way he will understand on his own."
Upon hearing this, I sighed and smiled at my son and was totally convinced. My son turned around and busied himself in his tasks. He was not moved by the fact that he managed to solve a huge problem for his mother. If it were me, I would have been so pleased with myself. In the past, I wouldn't hide or control this kind of delight one bit. I felt that this was a delight for the improvement of fellow practitioners. Now that I think about it, I'm afraid that it is more for validating self and self-fulfillment.
It has been a while since this incident, but I realized that my "attachment to self" was not totally eliminated. During some occasions, the attachment was very strong. I recalled an incident and wrote it down to remind myself, and at the same time remind practitioners: Any incident that happens to us contains elements for us to cultivate. Irregardless of whether the other party is an everyday person or a fellow practitioner, or whether it appears that the other party is right or wrong, we should be able to very calmly look inward without condition. We should not be attached to who is right or wrong, and should not constantly focus on the other party's shortcomings. In this way we will definitely improve and gain enlightenment during our cultivation.
These are some of my understandings. I hope that fellow practitioners will point out anything inappropriate.
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