(Clearwidom.net) During my recent cultivation, especially in the work of clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings, I have had many shortcomings. Today, I truly saw how superficial and selfish my thinking has been and I have also understood the deeper meaning of the Fa in this time period.
When doing truth-clarifying work, I always followed my old way of living, thinking, and working to solve problems. I did not truly follow Dafa and Master's standard. Sometimes, I knew in my heart that I should clarify the truth, but I just could not open my mouth; after I opened my mouth and initiated a little discussion, I then forgot about clarifying the truth, or sometimes I started to talk about ordinary people's topics with the intention of leading into clarifying the truth, but sometimes I lost the chance. Frankly, my righteous thoughts were moved by my old habits and fear; I did not have a sense of urgency and compassion for saving sentient beings.
I always thought about how I wanted to best clarify the truth, in a way that made sense to me but was not in line with what sentient beings needed. Therefore, during truth clarifying, sometimes people accepted the truth and sometimes they did not. Even during such righteous work as clarifying the truth, I was still not able to step out of a selfish mentality. I should have been able to recognize everyone's unique situation and adjust my approach accordingly. I should have seen that each person may have a different understanding and may therefore have their own kinds of blocks to accepting the truth. Only by truly appreciating others' perspectives with a heart of compassion would I have been able to break through the lies fabricated by the evil and help sentient beings let go of their fears so they could learn the truth and be saved. However, I am still constantly in the mental struggle of whether to open my mouth to speak or not, which is so far from the standard of a practitioner.
Intense emotion, particularly fear during cultivation, seems to be a large obstacle. The struggle to get past it appears endless, and it continues to emerge again and again within me. Feelings are only material substances in this surface dimension (within the Three Realms) and are not real qualities of a human being and of one's primary spirit. Today, we have an opportunity to go back to our true self through cultivation. We need to break out of this shell which prevents us from connecting to our original nature. How come there are still times when we cannot break off from our feelings? The crucial point is that we do not require ourselves to live up to the standard of the Fa. A selfish perspective has become a habit; whenever we do work or try to solve a problem, we easily become tangled up in the feelings and logic of everyday people. Our sentimentality could have been completely eliminated, however, this habit and way of thinking has preserved it. Therefore, our selfish mentality needs to be changed into a divine being's way of understanding, so it can then be eliminated.
Fear is rooted in selfishness, and is a reflection of our attachment to self. Selfishness is the basic characteristic of the old universe; if there is no selfishness there would be no fear. I discovered in my cultivation that everyday people's mentality is one of selfishness and is therefore helping to preserve fear. Only by eliminating that kind of perspective can fear be completely eliminated.
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