(Clearwisdom.net) At one point in the recent past, my xinxing hit rock bottom. All of the Shen Yun Performing Arts DVD's that I made were either put in the wrong package, carried the wrong label, or they were defective and did not play. So many strange things happened: my computer shut down, or the DVD turned out to be blank after I burned the programs on it. I was drowning in criticism and arguments, and I could no longer go on. I chose to avoid conflict and withdrew from the project. My excuse was that my xinxing was poor, and I was unworthy of this undertaking.
However, I realized that this was not the way to solve the problem. When I asked other practitioners to package the DVD's, there were still a lot of mistakes and some remained, even after we checked several times. What was happening? When they returned the DVD's to me, I didn't look inward. I simply thought the DVD's were infected with a virus when no sound came out. I did not think that there was anything wrong with me, even when the printer quit, as well.
Just as I was feeling befuddled, I tried a DVD that a practitioner said was defective. I found that it was working perfectly, and more amazingly, my computer and printer returned to normal. This episode inspired my righteous thoughts. I was finally able to identify the root cause of the problems, which was a lack of determination. Lots of strange things emerged because of how easily I let external factors influence me. It seemed that I did not truly believe in Master and Dafa, and did not truly conduct myself as a Dafa disciple. Now that I had found my problems, the despondence that I felt disappeared, and I have stronger righteous thoughts. Thank you, Master, for your encouragement!
I discovered a few other attachments after the computer and printer breakdowns. First, I thought that since I often installed files on other practitioners' MP3 players, my computer must be infected with a virus. This mindset seemed to cause issues to arise with my computer and other practitioners' computers, which interfered with their Dafa work. When the printer stopped working, I assumed that it was a paper jam, but it was actually my ego that was behind it. I was annoyed that other practitioners were waiting for ready-made materials, and I was the one doing all the work. I thought it was not fair, and that I should take a break and let them do more work. This mentality was what caused the printer to stop working, but when I unearthed the cause, it returned to normal.
I just wanted to remind practitioners that even if you did not encounter the same problems, please still handle everything with righteous thoughts. Anything that happens to us is a test of our determination in Dafa, and is an indication of whether we truly believe we have reached the standard after all these years of cultivation. If we truly believe in Master and Dafa, then we should believe in ourselves and not let any superficial phenomenon sway us. If we steady our minds, miracles will happen! If we truly regard ourselves as "future Fa-Kings" (Congratulatory Message, December 31, 2005), then we will find that we can achieve what we should.
Studying the Fa more will strengthen our righteous thoughts. In a critical situation, as long as we believe in Master and Dafa, and we believe that we already possess the ability Dafa has endowed us with to disintegrate the evil, we will be able to handle things well.
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