(Clearwisdom.net)
Looking Inside When Encountering Problems
One day in the winter of 2007, I ran into practitioner A in a market. She asked me how many people I had helped to quit the CCP. I said: "I have persuaded more than 10 people to quit the CCP." She said: "I have not gotten anyone yet." After that, she always invited me to join her in clarifying the truth.
The first time we worked together, we helped 40 to 50 people quit the CCP. Mostly I talked to them and she wrote down the names. Practitioner A was very diligent and gradually learned how to talk to people.
One cold winter's day, there were very bad blisters on my nose and mouth. We could not wear masks while talking to people, nor could we stay at home and delay saving sentient beings. So, we went out together to clarify the facts about the persecution of Falun Gong. She talked to some people and I talked to others.
After a while, she realized that I had not given her any names. She became annoyed and said loudly: "What! We have been out for so long and you still have not got anyone to quit?" I was very embarrassed and wondered how could she say that. Although I appeared to be calm and did not say anything, I was quite upset. I thought: "I brought you out and taught you. Now you have become good at it and you start to look down on me? I am in my 60's, more than 20 years older than you. And my nose and mouth are very painful. You should not treat me like this!"
So, I said: "Let's do it by ourselves and record the names separately!"
Several days passed and she found that I always got more names than she did. She compared the lists and became jealous. Sometimes, to keep her happy, I gave her some of my names. I felt that I was being very generous and was better than her. By doing this, although it appeared to be harmonious, neither of us was happy.
I realized: "This is not right. When two practitioners are together, we are one body." I looked inside and felt ashamed. When clarifying the truth to people, I faced the unfriendly faces, cold replies and harsh words. Sometimes people pushed me away, cursed me or reported me. I was not affected by them at all. I faced them with a smile. However, facing a fellow practitioner, I could not even tolerate one sentence from her. I used an everyday person's way to evaluate myself and her.
After so many years of cultivation, I still had such poor enlightenment quality! I did not look inside when facing conflicts. I complained and criticized others. Practitioner A is always quiet and rarely speaks. But she said something like this to me. How could this be a coincidence? What attachment of mine caused it?
I recalled the situation at that time. I suddenly realized that, while I criticized practitioner A, wasn't I attached to "myself"? Isn't that "selfishness"? Later I was in the mentality of "fight" and requested we record our own lists. When I tried to keep her happy, I was trying to keep myself happy. When I thought she was jealous of me, I was actually jealous of her. The fundamental reason is that I always wanted to win in everything I did. I was happy when I was a winner. I was jealous when I was not involved in something good. Because of this, I was not able to eat well or sleep well and suffered poor health. After I started cultivation, I was able to let go of these things and I felt much better physically and mentally. However, because of my limited understanding towards the Fa, it was still rooted in me, so it emerged again.
When the conflict occurred, wasn't Master using the speech of practitioner A to enlighten me? This exposed all my bad attachments, to allow me to get rid of them completely. Those attachments that do not belong to me, showing off, fighting and jealousy could be exposed and abandoned thoroughly. Otherwise how could I get rid of them? I am so grateful that Master made such careful and responsible arrangements. I am grateful that practitioner A helped me to improve my xinxing. Now we can work together again.
Improve Xinxing from the False Impression
One day, we heard that a practitioner was having problems in cultivation, so practitioner A and I decided to visit them. Practitioner A also found out their cell phone number. At 6am the next day, right after sending forth righteous thoughts, practitioner A called me and said: "Do not wait for me, I am not at home." I did not think much of it and after hanging up, thought that no matter what happened, I had to carry out the original plan. But I then realized that I didn't know the cell phone number, so I called her back immediately. I tried three times but it was either busy or turned off. I was quite puzzled, since I knew that she never turned off her cell phone. Was there a problem? I started to have all kinds of suspicions.
We had worked together for more than a year. Although we both have attachments, we were able to be strict with ourselves. We helped each other, improved together and we had been working well in regards to saving people. With the support of Master, we became more and more mature. Each day we regarded saving people as the most important thing and a great pleasure. Every day we spent more than half the day together. During the holidays, especially the Chinese New Year day, was a great time to save people. We were always diligent and the results became better and better. I proposed several times that since we both knew how to clarify the truth, why not do it separately and take our own paths? During the Fa rectification we should not waste our manpower. Two practitioners to save one person is different from two practitioners saving two people. However practitioner A always refused and wanted to stay together. She said that: "We should keep the team until the Fa rectification finishes. Do not leave me alone." At that time I did not worry too much as I it was good to work together. Gradually we became dependent on each other, and went everywhere together. She had strong righteous thoughts and was indeed a good partner arranged by Master. However, from several experiences before or after the Chinese New Year, she began to have problems with being on time. She was either delayed by this or that.
I realized that it was still my problem. When thinking about practitioner A, I thought about myself. I realized that I was dependent on her. A great high level being would not depend on others. I could not always wait for someone to go around with me. When it was time for me to do it alone, I should do it alone. We should both get rid of the attachment of dependence and eliminate this attachment developed from sentiment and work together only when we need to do so.
The next day I called her to find out that it was indeed a misunderstanding. Right after she called me, her mobile phone battery went dead. But that not occur to me and my human notions created all kinds of suspicions. We shared with each other about our thoughts and how we could improve ourselves. Practitioner A also realized that she should take this opportunity to walk her own path. This kind of false impression also appeared when I made arrangements with another practitioner. She promised to wait for me at home, however when I went to look for her, she was not there. Later when we did met each other, we found it was also a misunderstanding. She had told me the wrong floor number.
I realized that this kind of false impression is arranged by the old forces. The purpose is to separate practitioners and prevent them from working together. We should definitely deny this. However, when facing this kind of false impression, we should be kind to other practitioners, tolerant and understanding, so that false impressions cannot deceive us. At the same time, we should look inside, to discover the attachments that cause the problem. This is also a great opportunity to improve our xinxing and elevate ourselves.
Written on May 11, 2010.
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Category: Clarifying the Truth
