(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, fellow practitioners!
1. Becoming a Dafa Practitioner
I am a new practitioner, and began Fa cultivation in July 2009, but I had known of the practice when I was young when my mom and grandma used to practice it in China prior to 1999. I followed along with them, doing some exercises, but barely read any Dafa books. My family stopped the practice after 1999, and I lost the practice environment. But I always appreciated the help those nice aunties I met at the practice site gave me. They are always in my heart. Deep in my mind I knew that Falun Dafa was good.
After graduation from college, the influences from society polluted my mind, and I became ever more materialistic. But for some reason, earlier last year I felt bored with life, and tired of the daily fighting for my own interests. I questioned my reasons for being born, what I truly wanted from life. With all the natural disasters going on, I started reading prophetic books. The more I read, the more I felt life is short, and I should do something meaningful.
Then a strange thing happened. I perceived a voice in my mind constantly saying, "Why not go back to practicing Falun Gong? Go back, go back." I went online and googled Falun Gong and found a Toronto contact email address. I wrote an email to one of the Toronto contacts, excitedly waiting for a reply. There was no answer after a couple of days. I wrote another email to another Toronto contact, but still no answer. In the end I wrote an email to all three contacts, but still no answers. My husband said, "Well, perhaps people don't want you to practice." I said, "No. I want to give it one more shot. Falun Gong people are handing out flyers in Chinatown. I will go there to find out how to start." I got my husband to drive me to downtown Toronto over the weekend and I found an older gentleman distributing Falun Gong flyers. I looked at him and said, "I want to practice, where should I start?" I saw the excitement in his eyes. He held my hands and said, "You need a book to practice." I said, "I know! It is called Zhuan Falun." He nodded and led me right away to the TianTi bookstore. The practitioner at the TianTi bookstore was so nice and told me how to start, and gave me very detailed information about practice sites. I happily brought home a copy of Zhuan Falun.
I started reading the book right away when I got home and finished it in a day. I was in tears, constantly. I realized the meaning of life and what I truly wanted. The more I read of the book, the more regretful I felt. I told myself, "I should have started the practice over ten years ago with my mom. I have wasted so much time. I should make it up," and began reading Master's other books, tirelessly.
Because of the economic crisis it was not that busy at work and I read Master's books when I finished work, usually devoting at least six hours per day to Fa study. I can feel the happiness and excitement inside me, and sometimes end up in tears that I cannot control. My husband was a little bit worried and he asked why I cried. I told him I didn't know... I truly didn't know that time... But now I know, it is my "knowing side" - it was so excited to have obtained the Fa. Since I began the practice everyone around me has noticed differences in me, including my coworkers, my husband, and my in-laws. I returned the samples I had previously taken home from work and told my boss it was wrong to do that, promising I would not repeat this. He was shocked, but trusts me even more since then.
I tell myself I should be more considerate of my husband. I do more housework, and restrain myself from fighting with him. He felt it was odd and asked, "Why don't you fight with me anymore?" I said, "I don't want to lose de."
I was unkind to my in-laws prior to practicing. I always looked for excuses and avoided visiting them. I now tell myself I should treat others as I want them to treat me. I spoke with my husband about how difficult it was for them to raise him, and that he should care more about them, visit them more, and take them things. On special occasions I pushed my husband to give them more money in the red envelopes. I used to be selfish and was reluctant to give my in-laws anything. Because I changed so quickly, my husband could not understand and constantly asked, "Are you ok?"
I also spoke more with his Cantonese-speaking parents. I speak Mandarin and pretended not to know what they were talking about, even though sometimes I understood the conversation. I noticed that once I cared more about them, my ability to speak Cantonese improved rapidly. My in-laws are very happy that they get to see us more and talk with us more.
2. Cultivation While Selling Shen Yun Tickets
Last August, one day after our group exercise, many practitioners were discussing Shen Yun. I saw them so busy with all the projects and asked them what Shen Yun was, and if I could help with anything. Because I could drive and knew my way around the city, they said, "Great. You can be our driver! We need to put up all the posters!" So started my first participation in a Shen Yun project.
After all the posters were up I asked if there was anything else I could do. They asked me, "Can you sell tickets?" I said, "Sure. Whenever I am not working I am available." I sold tickets every Saturday and Sunday. Without training I didn't know how to introduce Shen Yun and always paid attention to what other practitioners said. After a while I came up with my own version. I wrote down every sentence and recited them one by one in front of a mirror, preparing as if I were to give a speech. My hard work was worth it, and I was successful almost every time.
After a while the attachment of zealotry showed up, and I noticed I was selling fewer tickets than before. But looking inside is a wonderful tool! Noticing fewer people accepting flyers or experiencing a couple of hours without selling a ticket must be due to an attachment emerging. I then looked inside, found the problem and got rid of it. I was doing quite well for a while. I became proud, telling myself, "See, selling tickets wasn't that hard." Once I thought like that, something would test me.
I was introducing Shen Yun to a seemingly quite interested Westerner and planned to explain more. His Chinese friend showed up. The Chinese friend looked at me very angrily and dragged the Westerner away saying that this was a Falun Gong show, "Don't listen to her." I got so angry that I almost jumped up to run over to them and get into a fight. I stood there the whole afternoon, angrily thinking about how bad I thought those two people were. Obviously, that afternoon I didn't sell a single ticket.
On my way home I pondered why I couldn't sell a ticket that day. Then I realized I was constantly thinking of fighting with those two people, caring too much about saving face. I thought to myself about compassion for others. Their minds were poisoned, and that wasn't their true selves. At home I randomly flipped through Zhuan Falun, and one paragraph showed up before my eyes right away:
"As you know, when a person reaches the Arhat level, in his heart he is not concerned about anything. He does not care at all in his heart for any ordinary human matter, and he will always be smiling and in good spirits. No matter how much loss he suffers, he will still be smiling and in good spirits without any concern." (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun, Translation Version 2000)
I realized immediately that Master was showing me the Fa. I made the heshi gesture, and looked at Master's picture to see Him smiling at me.
Selling tickets every weekend could sometimes be quite tiring, especially standing in the mall for the whole day. But lots of miracles happened to me. I got up late and rushed to the mall one morning without having breakfast. I got busy in the mall selling tickets and didn't feel tired. I arrived home at around 9:00 p.m., and told my husband all the great stories about selling tickets. He asked me what I had for dinner and I told him I had nothing. When he asked about lunch I realized I didn't have lunch either. I told him I completely forgot about lunch. He asked, "You had a pretty hearty breakfast, didn't you?" Then I had to tell him that I didn't have anything to eat the whole day, not even water. But I felt perfectly fine, and standing while wearing heels didn't even hurt! It was truly amazing! That night, sitting in the single-leg lotus meditation position, I thought, "Why not try the double-lotus position?" As soon as I thought that, I pulled the other leg up, didn't feel much pain, and could hold the position for a little while. I know that Master was encouraging me to do better.
I took my husband's family of 13 people to watch the Shen Yun show. My in-laws loved the show very much. I even saw my husband's little brother in tears and asked him after the show why he cried. He replied that he really didn't know. I knew that his knowing side was excited to watch Shen Yun. I told my coworkers and customers that I was volunteering to promote Shen Yun. A lot of them saw the changes in me after I began the practice. They were supportive and went to see the show. One of them, my boss, drove almost two hours, and took his family and friends to watch the presentation in Mississauga this year. Some of my coworkers even asked me for more details about Dafa. I gave them a copy of the English version of Zhuan Falun. They were happy. Many of them told me that they were very proud of Dafa practitioners and said they would tell their friends and family to see Shen Yun. Seeing more tickets sold through them and their channels, I am so happy that more people were saved.
3. Becoming a Sales Representative for The Epoch Times--Saving Sentient Beings
After the January Shen Yun performances I was even clearer about my path, recognizing that it was arranged for me to be here, to become a sales representative. My original college plans were to study computer science, but I got into marketing and management by accident. After graduation, all my classmates became secretaries or accountants, but I became involved in sales. Even after coming to Canada, my career was planned for this, and I noticed that earlier this year whenever I was about to study the Fa, for some reason I always read the "Fa Teaching Given at the Epoch Times Meeting" lecture. A voice constantly told me, "This is your path, this is what you're supposed to do!" The more I read the Fa, the more I wanted to work for The Epoch Times. I told myself it was time to have a discussion with my husband. Previous experiences made me aware of his hesitation about my working hard for Dafa projects, especially when I was not firm in my cultivation. I studied the Fa longer, and sent righteous thoughts longer, to clear his negative thoughts. I still remember the day we had the discussion. I told him I wanted to give up my current career and work for The Epoch Times as a sales representative, adding how it might affect our income for the first couple months, but I assured him I was confident, and promised him I would do well. Unexpectedly, he told me to go ahead if that was what I truly wanted, and that he would take care of the bills. I was in tears. Dafa is so powerful. Once my heart truly settled down, Master helped me.
I brought this up with my boss after he saw the Shen Yun show. He was quite understanding, but didn't want to let me go. He was quite moved by my reasons for doing this and told me that I could still work at my current position, but whenever I needed to help out at The Epoch Times, just let him know, and he would cover me. That was the start of my part-time sales career at The Epoch Times. At first I treated it as a regular sales job, thinking since I had previous sales experience it shouldn't be that hard. However, after a couple weeks I felt pressure. I realized that what we are doing is not simply a sales job, but involves speaking with people about the persecution and Falun Dafa, and saving people. It is all related to our cultivation practice. Working at The Epoch Times helped me become aware of many of my attachments, including jealousy, looking down on other practitioners, showing off, and being competitive. Master arranges all the incidents to make me aware of my ego. What an experience, working at The Epoch Times!
I was assigned with another person to work with auto dealerships. After a couple months my partner and I had covered almost a hundred dealers, but had barely any signed contracts. The problem was that while speaking with the upper level management about Falun Dafa and the persecution made them positively inclined toward our newspaper, the Chinese sales people were against our paper. I noticed that I was not very good at telling Chinese people the facts, or that sometimes I tried purposely to avoid them. I later looked inside and discovered my fear of losing face. My not thoroughly comprehending the Fa caused the problem.
Master said,
"If you don't study the Fa well, when you do Dafa work there will be a lot of things that are hard for you to handle correctly or do well." ("Touring North America to Teach the Fa")
I realized that I worked on so many projects and had an attachment of doing things. I had neglected the importance of Fa study. Realizing this, I truly calmed down one day and put my heart and soul into Fa study. A miracle happened. The next day I got a call from a dealer who had previously rejected me several times. He said they had a budget to run ads with us! I knew it was Master encouraging me again.
The more I study the Fa, the more I feel how powerful Master and Dafa are. I have realized that everything around me happens for a reason, as Master teaches us. Chinese people working in the dealership could have a previous connection with me. I should treat them with compassion, and I should tell them more about the persecution and Falun Dafa. No matter whether or not they advertise with us, no matter how they treat me, they are first of all sentient beings.
Master said, "The people in this world came here for the Fa." ("Fa Teaching Given at the Epoch Times Meeting") I need to save them. Once I truly stopped worrying about my personal gain - making money from selling ads - and truly thought of others first, I noticed that a lot of them changed. One Chinese auto sales person who was very negative about our newspaper told me that no matter what I said, they would not run ads with us, even after I explained the facts to him. But I never gave up on him. I regularly dropped off our paper at his desk and found an opportunity to chat with him for a while. He recently told my partner that we no longer had to drop off a paper especially for him, and that he picked up our paper at the grocery store. He commented to my partner that our paper reports news that no one else does, and that he learned a lot.
My work at the Epoch Times is hard, but also wonderful. Almost every couple days I have stories and new understandings of the Fa. Occasionally I like to share stories or my feelings with my husband. Little by little, I think he has understood more about Dafa. One time while on vacation we had 150 Euros stolen from us. I was so angry, and so mad at him and at myself. I sat on a bench, complaining about how bad people are, that he was careless, and I just kept going on and on. However, he was not upset at all, or mad or angry. I asked, "Why aren't you mad?" He replied, "Aren't you a practitioner? Does your Master not teach you about loss and gain? Where is your forbearance?" I felt like I got hit with a stick. He is not a practitioner, yet his xinxing was much better than mine. I was ashamed. I realized that Master used my husband's words to point this out to me. Thank you, Master!
I shared that story with practitioners. One practitioner commented, "It is fate that you guys got married, and you became a practitioner at this time. You shouldn't give up on him just because he said he doesn't believe in the Fa. Try to talk to him more about the Fa." I think the practitioner was correct. I shared more and more about Dafa with my husband, using what I understood about the Fa to explain things around us - not a lot, but little by little. The next thing I knew, a couple of weeks ago he agreed to read Zhuan Falun with me, then later started doing the exercises with me as well. Although he sometimes fell asleep while reading or wanted to leave when I asked him to do the second exercise or the sitting meditation, I reminded myself not to be angry with him, and gave him more encouragement and never gave up on him. He has now even started asking me questions about Zhuan Falun, and even volunteered to cook for the Shen Yun team. I felt so great. I know that it is due to Dafa's power - it can completely change people!
I feel so lucky that after missing the opportunity ten years ago I still got the chance to practice cultivation, especially at this time. I know I need to abandon destructive habits like showing off, zealotry, jealousy, the competitive mentality, and the attachment to comfort. I will work hard to make up for the time I missed. I will follow Master, do the required three things, become a qualified Dafa disciple of the Fa-rectification period, and fulfill my vows.
Heshi
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