(Clearwisdom.net) I started cultivating in Falun Dafa in 1998. I had lots of difficulty walking a righteous cultivation path. I had too many human notions. However, with Teacher's protection, I persevered and am still walking on Dafa's profound cultivation path.
Eliminating the attachment of lust
Since acquiring the serious desire of lust, eliminating lustful karma has been a difficult barrier in my cultivation. This repulsive attachment has stayed with me for many years, making me hurt, bothered, and ashamed of myself, until one day I said to myself, "I can't go on like this, allowing this desire to ruin my cultivation." Thus, I made up my mind to resist it with determination.
As a matter of fact, the basic reason for not getting rid of the desire of lust was that deep down, I was reluctant to see how this bad element of the universe takes advantage to enhance itself, which made me have more complicated sensations, and made me feel like the thought karma reflected my own thoughts. In fact, these thoughts were not from my real self. Had I not come to appreciate the difference, it would have been difficult to control myself, let alone eliminate this disgraceful attachment. In the process of my cultivation, there have been changes in my thoughts, sometimes positive and sometimes negative. I know that these changes are caused by my thought karma or interference.
I committed myself to doing Falun Gong exercises constantly. As I recalled, Teacher wrote in Hong Yin:
Becoming One
Scriptures cultivate your mind,
Exercises temper your body,
One day, upon Consummation,
Zhen Shan Ren will be with you to stay.
November 18, 1992
Revised in August, 1998
As our body keeps assimilating to Dafa, lust and other human desires will naturally disappear. Thus, when sending righteous thoughts, I've been adding one thought "eliminate this repulsive lust attachment, its relationship to thought karma, and exterior interference."
Human desire goes hand in hand with lust. Because of my parents' and others' compliments when I was a little girl, gradually I became more attached to how I looked. More and more I looked at myself in the mirror, and Í noticed more people looking at me when walking down the street. But later on when finding that pimples had grown on my face, and had not gone away for a long time, I started to realize that it was a serious problem. It wasn't easy for me to make them go away early on. Later, I came to realize that it wouldn't go away with just a slight thought, because my thought karma was so big that I had to suffer more, and eliminating it would require very strong righteous thoughts. Besides, it would be dangerous if I should lose control when the old forces arranged other people nearby to be attracted to me because I did not get rid of my attachment to lust. Therefore, we should strictly require ourselves to cultivate solidly in Dafa in order to avoid unnecessary troubles.
Clarify the truth; Save sentient beings; Confront persecution with righteous thoughts
I am now a teacher at a college. I understand that nothing is by chance, and that as a teacher, I am required to save sentient beings and do a good job.
My normal routine is that when I teach a new group of students, I send righteous thoughts toward them over the first few weeks, essentially cleansing them of evil elements that might interfere with their listening to me talk to them about Falun Gong. At the same time, I present some stories or scientific findings from PureInsight.org, enabling them to get ready for forthcoming truth-clarification. What follows is that while teaching lessons in class, when I find a suitable time, I tell them about how Dafa has been persecuted, about the staged Tiananmen self-immolation, about the organ-harvesting, and about Teacher's good reputation throughout the world. At times, I tell students about Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party as well as the movement to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. Sometimes, I have shown students VCDs of Shen Yun programs. As a result of all of this, when a semester ends, most of the students understand the facts about Falun Dafa, and some students even want to quit the CCP.
As I continued this process, I realized that I have fear. The reason is, I am afraid of my manager finding out. I have had this attachment since I was very young. I tried hard to get rid of it, but I failed. I realized later that my fear was formed by my recognition of the old forces' arrangement and the CCP saying that teachers are only allowed to "transfer knowledge." So I felt that what I did in the classroom was unsafe. In fact, from ancient times to today, teachers have been propagating doctrines of the ancient sages, giving lessons, and explaining mysteries. Ever since the CCP took power in China, in order to fool the Chinese people, they started revising the teaching curriculum in order to "educate" them. So Dafa disciples telling students about the facts and about how to be good people should be the best way to be good teachers. Furthermore, from the righteous Fa perspective, Dafa disciples who save people should not be persecuted, as saving people is the first priority. There is no need for the old forces to use our gaps as an excuse for persecution, as we eliminate our gaps through studying the Fa.
There was a period of time when I was emotionally aggravated by the CCP when clarifying the truth in class. It was when I placed the CCP as my primary discussion topic, with the beauty of Dafa as a secondary subject, in order to touch upon negative feelings about the CCP in students' minds. Without doing things wisely and without considering the students' ability to accept what I was saying, a student ended up reporting me to the public security bureau, and I was suspended from teaching at the college.
I knew that I must make a breakthrough. Because of fear, I previously did not have the courage to clarify the truth to the leadership at the school. It was actually a good opportunity for truth clarification. Thus, I went to look for two department heads one after the other to clarify the truth and request reinstatement. Practitioners helped by sending righteous thoughts to disintegrate evil elements at the college. Also, I went to see the CCP secretary to clarify the truth. While in the process of truth clarification, I found gaps in myself. Problems were solved after reciting the Fa and when the attachment of making a living was also eliminated.
Because I wanted to save students, compassionate Teacher once again made another arrangement that allowed me to get behind a podium, so that I was able to clarify the truth to my students. I truly valued this opportunity, as I understood that it wasn't easy for the students to get in touch with Falun Dafa practitioners and truth-clarification materials. Through this period of tribulations, I became more rational and wise. Teacher and Dafa have made all of this possible.
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Category: Improving Oneself
