(Clearwisdom.net) While I was memorizing Zhuan Falun yesterday, I just could not make it through the middle part of the last paragraph on page 107. Usually, I am able to memorize a paragraph after reading it two to three times. However, for that paragraph, I read it again and again but it did not leave any impression on me. I felt as if I had never read that paragraph before. I read the paragraph again this morning after I got up and tried to memorize it. However, I still did not remember anything. This time, I understood: those sentence must have something to do with an attachment that I should eliminate. I opened the book immediately. The following sentence came to my eyes:
"Some people just cannot give up what they once practiced." (Zhuan Falun)
I instantly realized what I should work on: I was not able to let go of the human mentality of hating wicked people, as if they were personal enemies. I also had problems with forgiving and showing tolerance to other people. This attachment was formed long ago, and now it's become a habit.
When I was little, I had the characteristics of hating the wicked as if they were personal enemies. If I was in the wrong, I never argued or found excuses for myself. However, if I was right, I never tolerated others' shortcomings. I spoke meanly and sometimes even spoke out angrily, which made other people very embarrassed. From the perspective of everyday people, this is kind of a merit. From a very young age, teachers always commended me for being able to criticize others proactively. My parents also often proudly talked about my personality to other people and I also considered that I had integrity and that it was a merit. After I started cultivation, I did not realize that this mindset was a problem until two years ago. One day, because my family member lied, I became very angry and I scratched the lip of my family member with my finger and left a bloody mark on it. Upon seeing the blood, I suddenly realized that hating wicked people as if they were personal enemies is also a manifestation of being wicked oneself. Measured against the Fa, that was not Shan at all. That is using wicked means to inhibit the wicked. In addition, the thoughts and the tactics I used were very harsh and mean. If measured myself against the Fa, that is absolutely not compassion, instead, I was using an evil way to fight the evil. The thoughts I had and the tactics I used were all evil and wicked.
Master told us long time ago,
"But in reality, what human society takes to be truths are, from the perspective of the cosmos, inversions of truth." ("The Closer to the End the More Diligent You Should Be")
He also said,
"In the workplace or in society, some people may say that you are bad, yet you may not necessarily be bad. Some people may say that you are good, but you may not really be good." (Zhuan Falun)
I had never understood those words before. When I look back now, I realized that every sentence from Master is tied closely to our cultivation and consummation.
After realizing that it is a wicked mentality to hate the wicked as if they were my personal enemies, I started to intentionally use compassionate thinking, instead of my old wicked ways. However, it was hard to change the habit that formed across many years. I was only able to inhibit the mentality to a certain extent. Yesterday, I argued with my wife, a fellow practitioner, on the matter of our children. Neither of us yielded. The more we argued, the more angry we became and we almost hit each other. Fortunately, we are both cultivators, and we helped each other to look inward. We both found many human mentalities, especially my mentality of hating the wicked as if they were personal enemies, and not being able to compromise and tolerate others, attachments which have hidden in my mind for years and are hard to eliminate. After sharing, I still feel uncomfortable although I have realized my problem. A habitual thinking pattern made me unwilling to admit my problem and I was hesitant to give it up.
When I read Master's words, "Some people just cannot give up what they once practiced," (Zhuan Falun) I knew that I must immediately and completely let go my mentality of hating the wicked as if they were personal enemies and my habit of using wicked means to inhibit the wicked. Although they were not specifically something that I practiced before, they are still old notions from the old universe. All those old notions are barriers in our cultivation and cannot be taken to the new cosmos. In addition, the habitual thinking pattern that does not allow me to admit my problem is not mine; instead, it is exactly human notions formed in the human world, which I should eliminate.
Master also told us in Zhuan Falun,
"We require people to practice only one cultivation way since one should be single-minded in true cultivation practice."
"Do not mix it with anything else in cultivation, not even with any mind intention."
I suddenly realized that if we do not eliminate our human attachments, we actually add bad things and thoughts to our Gong, and we do not meet the standard of practicing a single cultivation way. Even when we are not doing the exercises, we are still adding bad things into our gong because our cultivation way is "the Fa cultivates practitioners." (Zhuan Falun) and the gong is evolving us at each moment. If I do not eliminate such strong human mentalities, is it not the case that I have been adding bad things to my gong? How could I continue doing that?
July 9, 2010
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