(Clearwisdom.net) I remember when I was young, my parents often argued, so I grew up in fear. Because I was still a child, my mother tried to hold our family together. And as I grew older, she frequently talked about divorcing my father. My father, however, was indifferent and never discussed the issue with her. They treated each other like strangers.
My mother suffered from arthritis and often had colds and headaches. She tried Chinese, Western, and alternative medicines but with no results. My father's unsympathetic attitude toward her condition made her mood worse. She usually took me on a bike ride after they had an argument. I remember sitting on the crossbar of the bike and telling her to divorce him. Actually, I was only four or five years old at the time and did not know what "divorce" meant. When I was ten years old, my parents finally got divorced. My mother said that I had inherited my father's personality and that I would not correct my mistakes no matter what others said. She said that I was hard to discipline. When the divorce was finalized, she said she would take me with her as long as I was obedient. And I agreed. Even though she knew I was not going to change, she still took me with her.
My mother was constantly upset with my father while she was pregnant with me. Perhaps because of that, I had a bad temper and was disobedient, hyperactive, naughty, and a troublemaker. My parents thought I had Attention Deficit Disorder. They constantly argued about how to educate me, and the atmosphere at home was very tense. When I was in first grade, I was unable to sit still. I got up repeatedly to throw papers in the wastebasket. I did not pay attention in class and liked to play with the stationery supplies. One time the teacher told me to go home and write a letter guaranteeing that I would stop playing with my pens, rulers, books, and my hands. Since I was unable to pay attention in class, my grades suffered, and I was not qualified to attend high school. Therefore, I attended vocational high school and vocational college. In my first month at the vocational high school, in order to "gain respect" from my classmates and to defend them, I joined the gang to beat up another classmate. Consequently, the school administrator fined my parents 300 yuan. Two months later, my gang brothers slapped me in the face because I did not join their group fights. I refused to return to school because of that.
In order for my father to sign the divorce documents, my mother agreed to keep me in the same school. This meant that she spent over two hours a day to take me to and from school. After that, she had to go to work and take care of the household chores. Since I was a disobedient student and did not do well in school, she helped me with my homework in the evenings. No wonder she was always busy and tired.
Just when her health and stamina were in decline, she heard that Falun Gong was able to help one become healthy and elevate one's xinxing. She decided to practice Falun Gong. She got up early every morning to join the group exercise, then took me to school and went to work. In the evening, she took me to an elderly woman's house to study the Falun Gong books. She became even busier. Despite that, she was in better spirits, did not look as tired, and became calmer. Her colleagues and neighbors said that she was more optimistic. She often helped others, did things for others, and volunteered to clean the hallways. I knew that Falun Gong taught people to be good, and I thought my mother truly followed its teachings.
I can never forget my mother's concern for my education. Her love for me is extraordinary. She wanted me to be a useful person. When I attended and lived at the vocational high school, she often communicated with the teachers to make sure I was learning. After I refused to return to school because my gang brothers slapped me, she called the superintendent from a public phone booth, behind my back, and asked the teacher to discretely talk to the students that hit me. As a result of my mother and the superintendent's efforts, my gang brothers contacted me and I returned to school. Once I sprained my ankle walking up the stairs on campus. The doctor said the bone was fractured, so I was unable to attend school. During that period, my mother asked the superintendent to send the books to my house. She assigned me homework every day and reviewed the assignments after dinner. At the time, I could not stand this kind of restriction. I was unable to walk and had difficulties learning, and I often had confrontations with my mother till late in the evenings. Two weeks later, I barely managed to complete my homework. Three months later, after I returned to school, my classmates teased me that I had played for three months. It was not until they noticed I was able to catch up with the class instruction that they realized that I was learning at home.
There was a boy about my age who lived upstairs. His parents were quite wealthy and liked to gamble. They did not care about his education. The boy frequently skipped classes and spent money as he pleased. After we met, he often asked me to do things with him. Especially during vacations, we were together every day. He used to take me to hotels to eat and drink. One time, he took me to an Internet cafe. We spent the night there and did not go home till the next morning. When he fought with others, I would hold an iron bar or a small knife to help him. My mother lectured me and explained to me about the consequences of such behavior. I was rebellious and did not listen to her. She took away my two knives, so I bought another one and hid it. She spent money to send me to after-school learning programs, and I took the books with me, rode the bike, and played outside until it was late. She forbade me from going to the hotel with the other boy, so I found excuses and went elsewhere with him. The boy borrowed my bike and clothes, but he never returned them to me.
I had even more freedom during the summer vacations. I did not do any homework and went to places with that boy while my mom was working. Mother used to say that if one cannot be a good student, then at least be a good person, otherwise one could bring problems to society. After I turned 15, mother found jobs for me in order to keep me busy during the summer vacations, and to train me to be self-sufficient. My father doted on me and did not understand her intentions. He thought that she needed more money. Because I was short, young, and lacked skills, nobody wanted to hire me. In order to find a job for me, she told the business owners that they did not have to pay me much and that she only wanted me to gain experience and hoped the owners could keep an eye on me. I often worked ten or more hours a day, and the owner paid me 300 yuan. The owner told me later that of the 300 yuan, 100 was from my mother. He hired me because he understood my mother's intentions and felt sorry for her.
Mother looked for jobs for me near her workplace. This was so that she could come by during her breaks to see if I was working. At first I thought the money that I made was for me to spend, so I spent every single penny as soon as I was paid. Mother never scolded me for that. She just told me that money was not easy to come by and reminded me to spend money on things that were useful. She found jobs for me three summers in a row. And I learned to make steamed buns with meat fillings, lamb skewers, photocopies, and plaques and to water plants at a retirement home. With the skills that I learned, I found jobs on my own the fourth and fifth years. I made 600 yuan the fifth summer and split it four ways: I gave myself, my dad, my mom, and my grandmother 150 yuan each. They were surprised to see my transformation and my filial heart.
One summer, I had an argument with a college student that worked with me. We got into a fight, and since he was bigger than I was, I was at a disadvantage. I wanted to seek revenge. So after working for a month, I went to his dorm while he was resting and kicked him in the head. I thought I could get away, but he got up and chased after me. He beat me until my eyes were bloody and bruised. I looked like a panda bear. Originally he wanted to work for another month. But after this incident, he knew the the supervisor would not let him work. The supervisor asked both of our parents to meet with him. My mother did not say a word when she saw me. After she found out what had happened, I knew that I was at fault and did not say anything. When the supervisor asked the college student about his injury, he said he had a headache. Mother did not mention anything about my injury and kept asking him if he had any other symptoms. She said that what I did was very dangerous and admitted to the supervisor that she did not teach me well. She suggested that the college student seek medical treatment immediately and said that I would pay his one month salary if he could not work as a result of his head injury. She added that this would teach me a lesson. She gave him her work and home phone numbers in case there was any complication with his injury. After arriving at the hospital, the doctor prescribed some medication and wanted to do a CT scan. The college student took the medicine but did not do the scan. He said he would take the medication first and wait and see what happened later.
I went home with Mom. I was injured and it was very hot that day. On the way home, she bought peaches for me. I knew I had made a mistake and felt ashamed. I did not deserve to eat the peaches. I told her to not buy the peaches, since she had already spent a lot of money paying the medical bill. She told me to remember the lesson and to avoid making more mistakes in the future. Her concern for me prompted me to tell her that I would not cause any more trouble for her. Mother called the college student every day and inquired about him. Several days later, on a Sunday, she brought him some fruit when she visited him. She saw the supervisor, and he said that the student's mother had come by earlier, and when she found out that my mother was being responsible, she left feeling reassured. The student told my mother, "Actually, I was not seriously injured that day. Your son kicked me in the head. I thought he was very mean, and I was very upset, but you have treated me with kindness and generosity. So I do not want you to spend more money on my medical treatment." On my payday, Mother reminded me to buy something for him to show him that I was truly apologetic. He told me, "Your mother is very kind. I wish you were as nice as her." I never fought after that.
Once I went shopping with Mother. On our way home, she noticed the cashier forgot to charge her for some underpants. She immediately went back to the store and gave them the money she owed. I was very touched and said to her, "In the future, when I have children of my own, I will teach them to be like their grandmother." My mother was very happy to hear that I knew right from wrong and was proud that her efforts to educate me were finally paying off.
I recall saying this to her, "Life has been hard on you the last few years. I was not obedient, and Father fought with you a lot. Whenever you lectured me, I would run to Dad. Even though you let me stay with him, he did not want me there. Your company forced you to give up your title and prepare for early retirement unless you quit practicing Falun Gong. None of this has been easy on you." Mother replied emotionally, "You finally understand, my son, and this is better than anything else."
I graduated from the vocational college and am working as a technician at a government company. My wife was my classmate and is working as a teacher. My mom and neighbors commented that if it were not for Falun Dafa, I would not have what I have today. (The boy upstairs was sent to a forced labor camp for five years for stealing.) Mother never gave up on a child who was ignorant and disobedient. She did not bow down to the pressures of society, because she knew that Falun Dafa taught good people to be even better, to be selfless, and to be a kinder person than a model citizen. Therefore, she conducted herself righteously and set a good sample for me and those around her.
When I was 17 years old, I finally understood the hardships my mother had gone through. During the spread of SARS, we were not allowed to leave the school campus. Normally I went home once a week, but I did not go home even once for a whole month. The teachers told the students to write letters to our parents, and I did not know what to write. When I was not busy, I thought about Mom very often and recalled my mischievous behavior at home. I scolded myself for being so ignorant. Now I understand that a mother's love for her children is selfless. And I asked myself how much I loved my mother. I did not understand the hardships she had to endure and did not talk to her calmly. Sometimes I would become furious after she said a few more words. I don't think I truly understood my mother's selfless sacrifice. At the time, I did not know what the future held for me, but I knew I was very fortunate to have my mom's love. I apologized to her in my letter: "You have worked so hard and cried so much for me. I want to thank you for everything you have done for me. I don't know what I can do for you. The only thing I can do now is to be a good student and get good grades to repay your selfless love for me. I learned to write poetry in my literature class. Although I'm not good at it, I would like to express my feelings through this poem:
Where there is wind blowing, there is your love, growing.
Where there is water streaming, there is your love, flowing.
The path of life is long, but your love is infinite and boundless.
You are the sunshine that helps me grow, and the wings that help me fly.
I dedicate my first poem to my beloved mother.
Sometimes when mom was stuck on something and not feeling happy, I would tell her, "a practitioner has a big heart," and Mom would acknowledge that she was not conducting herself well. She is happy about my transformation, and I wish her consummation!
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Category: Perspectives
