(Clearwisdom.net) I have done much in recent years, including distributing materials, helping local practitioners establish materials production sites, cooperating with practitioners to post stickers and letters during “sensitive days,” and distributing materials to cities and villages. Through all of our efforts, our local cultivation state has been relatively good. Persecution incidents have rarely happened.
Because I was well known for my actions, practitioners considered me a diligent cultivator, and when confronted with issues, they usually wanted to get my opinion. For a while I had the mindset of liking to tell others what to do, directing others, and feeling above others. When I faced conflicts myself however, I was unwilling to look inward.
Was I actually cultivating well? One incident changed my viewpoint.
One day, I suddenly showed signs of sickness karma, including chest pain, stomachache, back pain, and a runny nose. It got worse. I had a hard time falling asleep. I also had a lot of dandruff. That night, several practitioners and I were supposed to distribute materials in a village. Before we left, my stomach hurt so badly that I couldn't stand up straight. I said to Master, “Master, I would like to go save sentient beings now. Please, let me eliminate the karma after I return.” All of a sudden my stomachache stopped. We distributed more than 1,000 copies of materials that night. When we came back, my stomach did not hurt, but did so again the next day. Several practitioners helped me send righteous thoughts, to completely negate the old forces’ persecution, but it still did not help much.
I recited Master’s Fa about resolving conflicts with compassion many times, but the pain was still there. I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the karma that interfered with me, but the pain still didn't stop.
I couldn't eat or sleep well, was unable to study the Fa with a calm mind, and I couldn't practice the exercises. I suffered so much from the pain. Some practitioners said, “You should stop doing Dafa work and stay home to study the Fa well.” Some others said, “It’s too dangerous for you to continue with the work. Your unresolved issues might lead to danger for us, as well.”
What did I do wrong? I looked inward and suddenly realized that I had not eliminated hatred. It must have been the hatred and resentment that I had not removed. In the past several years, I had witnessed and heard from fellow practitioners regarding how brutal those evil policemen were while torturing practitioners, and this had generated strong resentment. When I see people in a police uniform, I hated them. When I saw police cars, I hated them. Even when I heard the name “police” I hated it. This hatred formed a strong being within my body, and it has grown enough to interfere with me now. Now that I’ve found it, I have to completely eliminate it. Fa-study enabled me to truly understand that these people are in fact pitiful. They are merely controlled by the evil in other dimensions. They are also lives being persecuted. They are people we need to rescue, too.
When I found my attachment and understood the principles, my sickness symptoms immediately disappeared. My stomach no longer hurt, dandruff no longer flaked off, and I have regained my energy.
I also realized Master's teaching, “...the number of cell divisions is finite,” from Zhuan Falun. One cell is one life (or one universe). While a practitioner is improving his or her xinxing, high-energy matter continuously replaces the cell. If xinxing improvement is slow, the cell is eliminated. It can see the danger of being eliminated and the end result of death. That is why it wants to resist and fight back, which will make you suffer. Additionally, adding onto the karma from different levels, it forms huge sickness karma interference on the surface of the human body. Looking outward at this time would be a huge mistake for us.
Do you blame the old forces for this? Do you send righteous thoughts to eliminate it? They said, “I did not persecute you! This has nothing to do with us. We never even touched you.”
Do you try to resolve the conflicts with the lives in your own microscopic world? These lives said, “Would your xinxing and realm be good enough to save us? Looking at the degree of your resentment, your xinxing is not even as good as ours. You are not reliable and we can't wait until then. You'd better pay off your debts now.”
When you say to every cell in your body, “Let us say together 'Falun Dafa is good' so we can go to the new universe together in the future.” All the cells would say, “We are all dying. If you don't improve, we will be eliminated soon. What is the use of you saying this to us?”
Looking outward offers no benefit. Only by looking inward unconditionally and eliminating our resentment and competitive mentality to raise our realm will we be able to resolve all conflicts. According to Master, every cell in our bodies will be assimilated within the Fa and be replaced by high energy matter.
When I realized this, I couldn't help but cry. I said in my heart to Master, “Master, I’ve made mistakes. It took me over ten years to finally understand them.”
All these years, I have only focused on Dafa work. I have been unable to keep up cultivating my mind. From now on I will make sure to cultivate myself solidly! Doing Dafa work will only accumulate good fortune. Cultivating one’s mind is how to gain mighty virtue.
I later had a dream. I was driving a car and broke out of an icy cave. When I emerged from it, I was bathed by the sun's radiance and took in a boundless blue sky. I took it as Master's encouragement for my improvement.
Master said,
“The things of Dafa disciples surpass personal cultivation, such as our currently validating the Fa, clarifying the truth, and saving sentient beings, but all of these are actually based on a foundation of personal Consummation, so if you can't reach personal Consummation then everything else is out of the question. Validating the Fa isn't something ordinary people do; only Dafa disciples are worthy of doing it.” (“Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference”)
I finally understand that in cultivation, no matter whether you are a common practitioner or a coordinator, you will have to cultivate your mind steadfastly. If you can’t meet the standard, you will not be able to return to heaven. In my opinion, the old forces will not reduce the level of persecution merely because you are a coordinator.
Those lives in other dimensions who have had conflicts will agree to peacefully resolve the conflict only if they see that you are diligent in cultivation - to give them hope of being saved. If you are not diligent, no matter how hard you try to resolve the conflict, they will not go for it.
Per my understanding from the Fa, the cells within our bodies that follow the laws of birth, old age, illness and death can only assimilate within the Fa and be replaced with high energy matter when we keep raising our realms.
When we face issues, we should unconditionally look inward, and cultivate ourselves diligently. Only if we do it steadfastly can it be called true cultivation.
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