(Clearwisdom.net) I grew up in a family of practitioners, and my parents helped me to recite some of Master's articles. The persecution of Falun Gong started in 1999, when I was five years old. Initially, I knew nothing about it, but after my father was arrested, my mother became afraid, and under duress, wrote a guarantee statement renouncing her belief. When I asked her if she had really given up the practice, she cried. After I started middle school, my studies increased and I found that I had no time to study the Fa or do the exercises.

When we got a computer at home, I was curious about what I could do on it. I indulged in computer games, and then started to watch things that I shouldn't have. I began to indulge more deeply, and the attachment of lust filled my mind. I could not get rid of it and felt ashamed of myself.

Master said:

“Those who are attached to lust are no different from wicked people. While reciting the scriptures, they even cast furtive glances; they are far from the Dao and are wicked, everyday people.” (“Cultivators’ Avoidances” from Essentials for Further Advancement)

I soon stopped practicing, and didn’t return to cultivation until my father persuaded me to come back last year. When I picked up the book Zhuan Falun again, I suddenly began to cry. I was very pleased to have finally returned to the path to my true home.

I set strict requirements for myself. I got up at 3:50 a.m. every day to do the exercises. In the evening, no matter how tired I was from doing school work, I studied the Fa, sent forth righteous thoughts, and let people know the facts about Falun Gong. It wasn’t long before I started to experience tests in relation to my attachment to lust. I didn't have a clear understanding of the Fa in relation to lust, so I found the tests extremely difficult to pass. I sent forth righteous thoughts every time, but I still couldn't eliminate it. After recently reading articles on cultivation and eliminating lust, I realized how terrible these things are. When I thought it over, it was my fundamental attachment to fame that had not yet been removed.

My work in high school was very demanding, and when I relaxed in my cultivation, the attachment to lust took advantage of me and I started to be attracted to a female student in our class. As it turned out, she first showed her affection to me. I thought it was because I was attractive. I didn't realize that the old forces were taking advantage of my loopholes by using her. Master said,

“If you practice qigong and achieve the Tao, what about those unpaid debts you owe others? They will not allow it, so they will not let you practice qigong.” (Zhuan Falun)

My mind was pre-occupied with her and was not on the Fa. I sent messages to her, and paid a lot of attention to my appearance, with no regard for our family's financial situation. I was totally lost in lust, and could not get out. I became relaxed in my schoolwork and Fa study. I sometimes remembered that I was a practitioner, but once I got involved in the affairs of human society, I just forgot about it again. I asked myself, “How will I ever get rid of my attachment to lust?”

Compassionate Master didn't give up on me, and continually gave me hints. He urged me, and gradually helped me to understand my purpose in coming to this world. It was not for lust, but for Dafa, for saving sentient beings, for returning to my true home. Master has suffered many things in order to save us. He has picked us up from hell and given us the best things, paving a cultivation path for us. If I indulge myself, how could I be worthy of my Master?

I made a resolution to eliminate my attachment to lust and wanted to become a true practitioner. Whenever I had an attachment to comfort, or to human emotion, I thought of Master's words,

"It doesn’t matter what so-called Buddha, what Dao, what Deity, or what demon it is—they can’t sway me." (Zhuan Falun)

I take lust very lightly now, and I am diligent in cultivation. Fa rectification will be over soon, and I don't want any regrets for myself. I cannot come to the human world without doing what I came for. I will conclude with my own poem below:

I wandered and reincarnated many times,
getting lost in the human world;
With attachments to lust,
I am no different from human beings;
Getting rid of my notions,
I step into heaven;
Then in true happiness.

Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.

Category: Improving Oneself