(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
This is the first time I have participated in a Minghui Internet Fa Conference. I am 78 years old, and I started practicing Falun Dafa with my sister-in-law on the day before July 20, 1999, when the persecution began, at our local practice site. After I finished the exercises that morning, I borrowed a copy of Zhuan Falun from a fellow practitioner and went home. The next morning, my sister-in-law and I went back to the practice site and we didn't see anyone there. Without much thought, we went back home without knowing what had happened. We later learned from the TV that the evil Party was no longer allowing people to practice Falun Dafa. Because I had never had any contact with Falun Gong prior, I didn't really know what the practice was about. I took the evil Party's propaganda and lies on the TV to be true and went along with it by saying something bad about Dafa (which I have since retracted and declared invalid). Because I had poor health and a lot of household chores to do, I just wanted to practice the exercises for health benefits. I hadn't read the book and I couldn't find any practitioners to teach me the exercises. When I had time, I would sit down and perform some simple movements, but I didn't know the fundamentals of the practice.
Perhaps Master knew that I wanted to practice cultivation. On November 1, 1999, my oldest daughter, who was a practitioner, came to visit me for two days from out of town. She taught me all the exercises. She said that the Party had started to slander Dafa on the TV, like they had done during the Cultural Revolution. She told me not to believe their lies. My oldest daughter obtained the Fa in April 1999. Because she stayed at my home for only a short period of time, I didn't learn the exercises accurately, but after she left, I continued practicing and never gave up. After I started practicing, my health drastically improved. At age 70, I could handle a lot of household chores and take care of my granddaughter. I had a lot of energy. My son-in-law always said I walked very fast.
After my oldest daughter returned home, she went to Tiananmen Square to appeal for Falun Dafa. She was arrested and sent to a forced labor camp where she was kept in a brainwashing center for almost two years. She was released in July 2002. On October 1, she came to visit me again and told me the truth of the persecution. She taught me the exercises again and showed me some of the movements that I wasn't doing correctly. She stayed with me for only two days and then rushed back to clarify the truth to more sentient beings.
In 2004, my husband died of lung cancer. I was depressed after he left me. I went to my oldest daughter's house to live with her for a while. We studied the Fa together every day and went out to hand out flyers and clarify the truth to people. Although I was very busy at that time, I felt good about myself. After a few months of Fa study and truth clarification, my energy level picked up again. My body was ache-free and I walked like an arrow. My cheeks looked rosy, and my skin was soft and smooth.
One day, my head and neck were hurting. In Zhuan Falun, Master said,
“Our bodies may suddenly feel uncomfortable. This is because repaying the karma will be manifested in different ways.”
In fact, Master was eliminating karma for me and helping me pass the test of sickness karma. In the past, I massaged my husband when he was in the hospital. My oldest daughter told me that Dafa practitioners should not massage others. I was absent-minded at that time and was very attached to human sentimentality. I continued to massage his feet. As a result, his karma was transferred to me. Master said in Zhuan Falun, “It is easier to invite an immortal than to see one off.” But now, I didn't feel well. At that time, I wrongly thought that as long as I practiced the exercises, I would be illness-free. I was not really paying attention to Fa study and cultivating my heart. I only focused on the exercises, while in essence, as a practitioner, cultivating one's heart is most important. In the past, my attachment to fear was quite substantial. When I heard some bad news, I would start hiding the informational materials that were in the house. I also had other attachments. I didn't take cultivation seriously, thinking that doing things was cultivation. Later on, when my oldest daughter saw that I couldn't raise my cultivation level and understanding of the Fa, and that I had started to doubt Dafa, she suggested that we should recite Zhuan Falun together. As we were reciting Lecture Six, the old forces started interfering with me. My second daughter called me from Henan Province and asked me to help her with her household chores. When I think of it now, I know why Master said it was very difficult for people to obtain the Fa. The old forces are desperate to keep people from being saved.
After I went to Henan Province, I felt trapped in the old forces' arrangement. Because I stayed home all the time, I didn't have a chance to get to know other practitioners. I alienated myself from the cultivation environment and completely threw myself into the big dye vat of everyday people. I wasn't able to listen to my oldest daughter's advice (it was, in fact, Master trying to wake me up), and I didn't take it seriously. I stopped cultivating myself. I subsequently didn't feel well and I suspected that I had an illness (I was pursuing sickness). In fact, the old forces were strengthening my innate notions, making me think I was sick. As a result, my children took me to doctors to find a cure. I went to the hospital for medication, injections, and infusions, but nothing helped. In actuality, Master had already cleansed my body. I had no illness at all. Of course those ordinary methods didn't help! Nevertheless, I didn't enlighten to it. I went to the People's Hospital of Henan, the Provincial Psychiatric Hospital, an orthopedic hospital, and others. I spent a lot of money on x-rays, CTs, MRIs, and other tests. In the end, they couldn't find anything wrong with me. Everything was normal, but I was not feeling well. I still didn't enlighten to it and went to seek a cure in traditional Chinese medicine, which included cupping, acupuncture, massage, embedding, and laser treatment. In the end, these treatments didn't work either. I used my children's money to pay for the medication, and unknowingly I had accumulated even more karma.
The old forces didn't want me to obtain the Fa. They tried to pull me down into the abyss. At last, a doctor said, “Take some sedatives.” In fact, it was a very strong sedative which could cause one to lose consciousness, and I got dizzy after taking it. When I went to the toilet one night, I fell down and broke my hip. Wasn't this my pursuit of sickness? The doctor told me to lie in bed for three months. At that time, I was not able to walk, put on clothes, or take a bath, and I needed someone to take care of me. In the end, I had no strength to go out to seek treatment, and I created a lot of hassles for my children. It was summertime, and I was in pain.
When my oldest daughter heard the news, she called me immediately and urged me to practice the exercises and study the Fa, and said that otherwise my condition could get worse. If I continued to stay in bed, it would lead to muscle stiffness and I could become handicapped. I sat on my bed, leaned against the wall, and started doing the exercises and studying the Fa. Shortly after, I could take care of myself. I still had lumbar kyphosis and looked feeble. I needed a crutch to walk. Now when I think about it, I feel scared. In Zhuan Falun, Master said, “Good or evil comes from that instant thought.” It was only the difference of one thought that the old forces were trying grab me and wouldn't let me go. They wanted to harm me and make me disabled.
Under Master's arrangement, in order to meet with my two sisters-in-law at my oldest daughter's house, I was determined to make it, even though I had problems walking. My younger sister-in-law went back to Beijing after two months because she had problems getting used to the new environment. I stayed. With the help of my oldest daughter, I learned how to copy CDs and print the CD covers in just a few days. When I saw Shen Yun on the TV from a CD that I had copied, I felt very good.
I practiced the exercises and studied the Fa with my oldest daughter, and we made truth-clarification materials together. When I first went to her house, my back was curved, my face was pale, and I looked old. Through intensive Fa study and exercises, I underwent a great change, mentally and physically. My neighbor told me that I looked in very good health and that I looked much younger. With my daughter's encouragement, I overcame thought karma and started reciting Zhuan Falun. I gained a new understanding of the Fa and began to cultivate my heart. In the past when I heard someone say something not pleasing to my ear, I would get angry and fight with them. Through Fa study, I understood that this was the attachment of “fighting with others” and a lack of tolerance. I had to eliminate these attachments through cultivation.
My husband's older sister lived with her daughter because no one took care of her. She was over 90 years old and a bit muddle-headed. She liked to give orders and talked a lot. Sometimes when practitioners came to her house to study the Fa and share experiences, she didn't treat them nicely and said bad things about them. I didn't like her and thought she was an interference. I didn't want to live with her, and I wasn't friendly towards her. In fact, she was a kind and very nice person. When she was young, she helped my family a lot financially. One day, a relative came to visit me. After dinner, I gave her some fruit to take home. After she left, my husband's sister got very angry. I got very upset with her and started a fight with her. In fact, Master used her to try to raise my xinxing, but I missed the opportunity.
As the saying goes, “Bystanders always have a clearer view.” Seeing that I was not enlightening to the test, my daughter said, “She is an everyday person. She was helping you to upgrade your xinxing.” At that time, I studied the Fa but didn't use the Fa to evaluate my behavior, and didn't cultivate myself solidly. I said to her, “I don't want that lunatic to test me.” I was very stubborn and didn't listen to my daughter. As a result, I missed the opportunity to upgrade my xinxing. In fact, disliking others and thinking that they interfere with us is a selfish attachment. How can I be a cultivator if I only want to listen to good things! Practitioners said, “Auntie, your cultivation environment is very good. Your daughter is there to remind you and your sister-in-law is there to help you raise your xinxing. Please cherish it.” This summer, my second daughter called her sister and said, “Mother doesn't like to stay in other people's homes and she is a bit lonely and doesn't like to have contact with others. How can she stay in your house for nearly two years and not want to go home?” My second daughter is still in a maze. How can she understand cultivation and know that going back to heaven is what I have waited for for thousands of years? I have been waiting for Master to come and spread the Fa for many reincarnations. And this is the day I have been waiting for.
I began participating in group Fa study, and I was touched by other practitioners' diligence. I thought I would fall asleep in group Fa study, but I didn't. I studied the Fa with practitioners, sent forth righteous thoughts, and went along to light firecrackers to celebrate the 'death' of the evil head, Jiang Zemin. The old forces saw that I had become serious in my cultivation. They didn't let me go. A few days later, my second daughter and son called me and asked me to go for a checkup. After having a CT scan, some bad thoughts came to me, thinking that the checkup was a means for me to validate the Fa. Now when I look back, that thought suited the old forces' arrangements. Last night, my oldest daughter had a dream. In the dream, I didn't enlighten to the Fa and I gave myself an intravenous injection. I punctured my arm with the needle many times but still couldn't find the vein. Without enlightening to it, I kept puncturing myself. My oldest daughter was helping me. The truth was that several days before, my second daughter and son had called my oldest daughter to take me for the CT examination. She said she would respect my decision and would take me if I wanted to go.
Cultivation is a very serious matter. Master said in Zhuan Falun, “Good or evil comes from that instant thought.” I can't let the old forces use their excuse to persecute me and give me karma. I have to study the Fa more, recite the Fa, and share with practitioners, and let go of my attachment to fame. Only by doing this can I negate the old forces' arrangement and walk the path that Master wants. Our great compassionate Master has directed me to the heavenly road from the wrong one. I thank Master wholeheartedly from the bottom of my heart. In the future, I will listen to Master and use the standard of a genuine cultivator to evaluate myself. I will be more diligent amd cultivate myself well. This is the way to thank Master.
I have had miraculous things happen to me in my cultivation. For example, one day I went to the bank to withdraw money. It was in the afternoon, and there weren't many people around. Suddenly, three young people came in. They hadn't come to do any banking. They looked around. Because I planned to withdraw a lot of money, I was a little nervous. I recited, “Falun Dafa is good. Master, please help me.” When it was my turn, the three young people disappeared. I felt relaxed and safely withdrew my money. I knew it was Master who had protected me.
I will end here because of time. In fact, through practitioners and my oldest daughter, Master hinted that I should write a sharing last year. But I didn't enlighten to it. As a result, I lost that precious opportunity. Next year, I promise I will actively take part in this grand event and report to Master and practitioners on my cultivation state.
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