(Clearwisdom.net) These last couple of years, I have not done the three things well. After studying Master's “Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference,” especially the passage about sickness karma, I reflected on myself and suddenly awoke. I finally found the source of my “sickness karma” – it was the lack of faith in Master and the Fa. I decided to write down my hard-learned lesson to remind myself as well as to encourage other elderly practitioners in similar situations to rectify our paths and avoid detours.
Master said,
“Some people who used to have illness did recover as soon as they started cultivating Dafa, and they really were cured. But, in order to remove your attachments and test whether or not you have what it takes, the old forces cause you to have pain wherever the focal point of your former illness was, or have a relapse, with the symptoms even being the same, all to see whether you believe in Dafa. How are you to handle it when that happens? Human or divine—the difference lies in one thought. If what arises is a righteous thought, and you take the position that all of this is false, that it’s the old forces meddling, and you remind yourself of how long you’ve cultivated Dafa for and that no such thing is possible, if that thought truly comes from within, instantly the problem will vanish.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference”)
I began practicing Falun Gong in 1996. Looking back at my days before practicing, I had a back injury and many illnesses such as kidney dysfunction and serious stomach inflammation. At that time, I was emaciated and tired all the time. I could hardly walk. Only 100 days after I started practicing Falun Gong, my health improved dramatically. My complexion was rosy, and my body felt light when walking. It was as though I had turned into a different person. All my neighbors, friends, and coworkers witnessed the changes in me and were convinced of the wonders of Dafa. Even my family members who didn't believe in deities and who tried to prevent me from learning Falun Gong became practitioners after seeing the miracles of Dafa.
Although the Chinese Communist Party began persecuting Falun Gong in 1999, I was not deceived by the lies. In early 2001, I went to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong. I was detained for two weeks and received penalties from my workplace. However, it did not shake my faith in Dafa. There were times I said or did wrong things against my will to conform to the situation. Sometimes my mind would be absent when studying the Fa. Although I was doing the three things, I was being too timid and was not very diligent.
In early 2009, I developed some back pain in the places where I used to have pain. I felt sore and tired. I was losing a lot of weight and becoming weak. Because I did not cultivate solidly and lacked strong righteous thoughts, my human attachments emerged after the symptoms of sickness karma appeared. I did not realize that it was an illusion and interference by the old forces. Instead, I used human concepts such as resting, eating unprocessed food and vegetables, and even taking nutritional supplements to improve. At that time, I told myself that I was nearly 70 years old; although I would definitely not go to a hospital and take medicine, I could use folk remedies to alleviate my problems. Actually, this showed my lack of faith in Master and the Fa. My human attachments were strong and I had human notions. At the same time, I knew from the perspective of Fa-principles that I was wrong. I felt a lot of internal conflict. Soon I decided to stop those erroneous actions.
Master said, “... if you’re carrying around an ill body you really won’t develop any gong energy. ” (“The First Talk,” Zhuan Falun) Actually, after so many years of cultivation, I understood in theory that a cultivator could not be sick. I also knew that I already developed gong. I remember that on May 8, 1999, after a group exercise in a park, I stayed to study the Fa by myself. I saw that my hands and arms were both golden in color. At that time, I knew it was a good thing. Later, I realized that this was Master pushing us to our highest positions before July 20, 1999, when the persecution started. Another time after July 1999, I was meditating at home when my family member (also a practitioner) who has super-normal capabilities saw that I was in a glow of yellow light. Furthermore, on a different day, he saw that my whole body was white. My 3-year-old grandson said with surprise that I had three eyes. Another time, he was puzzled because he saw that I had two heads. All of these showed that I had developed gong.
Master also said,
“I told you early on that I removed the name of every single Dafa disciple from Hell's list. Every ordinary person is listed in that registry. I have removed the names of Dafa disciples from Hell's registry. I had their names removed from Hell. So your names are not there. In other words, you are not in any way beings of the Three Realms, and you are no longer ordinary persons. That is why when your righteous thoughts are strong you can resolve any problem. The sickness karma that appears in your body manifests as a test. Of course it appears to be sickness karma, as it definitely won't have the appearance of a god getting ill. So you should handle it with righteous thoughts. You are a cultivator, so it is definitely not in fact sickness. But it won't come across that simple.” (“Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles”)
Just as the paragraph above showed, Master has repeatedly told us that a cultivator does not have illnesses. With righteous thoughts, we can solve any problem. I have a clear understanding of this from the Fa-principles, and can verify it from my own tribulations. The first time, I was able to pass the test with strong faith in Master and the Fa. The second time, because the symptoms returned to places where I had pain before, I was confused and had doubts. I tried to solve it with ordinary people's methods but they did not work at all. The old forces persecuted me for two years because of my gaps. It was only recently that I realized the cause was the lack of faith in Master and the Fa. I did not listen to Master and failed to meet the requirements of a cultivator. I didn't break through ordinary people's ways and did not let go of ordinary people's notions. I did not walk well my path of cultivation.
I have studied Master's “Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference” many times. Because I have now found the source of my “sickness karma,” and am clear on the Fa principles, I have a strong faith in Master and the Fa, and can focus on doing the three things well. I spend less time resting, yet my body is feeling better and more energetic. This also shows that as long as we can follow Master's teachings, we will be correct. From now on, I will always remember this hard-learned lesson and remind myself to rectify every thought so that it is consistent with the Fa. I truly believe that as long as we can have strong faith in Master and the Fa, we will surely be able to overcome any tribulation.
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