(Clearwisdom.net) My son is 6 and has been studying the Fa frequently. I have found that his behavior is closely related to my cultivation state.
During my first few years of cultivation practice, I had a lot of thought karma and doubts about Dafa. My child was always sick during that period. Through Fa study and improving my xinxing, I rectified myself. Paralleling my own state, my son's health also changed for the better. He became more handsome as well. Through studying the Fa, he learned many Fa principles.
I realized that my child's state was closely related to my cultivation level. After I genuinely cultivated, my child began to understand the Fa from the Fa. Take for example, when my child found that I felt wronged after having conflicts with my father, he told me that I had received de (virtue) and my father had gained karma. When I failed to forebear my son would tell me, "As a practitioner you must forebear, otherwise you are not cultivating."
Before I genuinely cultivated in Dafa, though my child had studied the Fa with us, he did not genuinely cultivate either. Children should also progress in cultivation. However, whether a child can genuinely cultivate depends on the state of his or her parents' cultivation.
At one stage, I was very busy doing Fa-rectification work and I did not return home for several days. My son was staying with his grandparents, who are not practitioners. I was a bit worried about him and thought he would slip into the state of an everyday person since I did not have time to take care of him. Eventually, I finished my work and took him home. His grandparents said he had behaved very well in kindergarten and had become a class monitor. On returning home, I found that he had not forgotten about his cultivation.
With the upgrading of my xinxing, I gradually let go of my affection for him. When I was with him, I tried my best to be responsible to him and educate him. If I was not with him, I would not worry about him. This was because I understood that everyone has his or her own fate. Living in the human world is just like staying in a hotel. Though he is my son and is a young practitioner, he really came for the Fa, not a comfortable human life. Therefore, I had to let go of my affection for him. I care about him, but I stopped worrying about him all the time. When I let go of affection, my son's behavior gradually improved with each passing day. His teacher said that he was studying very well and was doing his homework very accurately. His math ability surpassed that of other children his age. His reading level was also very high. Most importantly, he has mastered almost all the characters in Zhuan Falun and is able to judge good from bad.
Because my son lives in this human world, he has also acquired some bad habits at times, such as losing his temper, lying and being excessively fond of food. I did not become as worried as I would have in the past. Back then, I wanted my child to behave perfectly. Now that I know he is a mirror of my own behavior, I look inward. At the same time, I patiently point out his problems to him. Whenever he is unwilling to study the Fa, I remind him of the importance of doing so. All of this has helped me to upgrade myself. I firmly believe that Dafa is all-powerful. As long as I follow the requirements of Dafa, I can pass any test.
Thus, if we cultivate ourselves well, we will be able to handle our relationships with our children well. We must be tolerant towards them, but at the same time, we must set a high standard for them. The two requirements are not in conflict. I think that many issues can be sensed, but are hard to express in words. All our abilities and wisdom come from Dafa. If we study the Fa well, we will be able to look inward unconditionally when encountering any problem. So there is no need to use human methods to resolve problems, which would waste time and effort.
Regarding any issue I did not express according to Dafa, please feel free to comment and correct.
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Category: Improving Oneself
