(Clearwisdom.net) Thanks to Teacher's benevolent compassion and saving grace, I was fortunate enough to become a Dafa practitioner. My gratitude is beyond any description. Only by cultivating diligently, and seizing the day, can I fulfill the vow that I made before coming down to the human world. I would like to report to Teacher and share with fellow practitioners my cultivation experiences of the past two years.
My husband began learning Falun Gong in 1998, and at the time I began reading Zhuan Falun as well. I think because my enlightenment quality was not so good, I didn’t truly understand what cultivation was.
When the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) orchestrated the persecution of Falun Gong in 1999, I stopped reading the book, and I was trying to talk my husband into giving up Falun Gong. However, my husband was very firm in his belief in Dafa. Even though he was under much pressure, from management at work, parents, relatives and friends, he never gave up. He was illegally arrested and detained at a detention center, and this put a great deal of pressure on me. While both my colleagues and classmates’ husbands were being promoted and becoming wealthy, I was resentful for being so poor. I had many arguments with my husband over this issue. With the relentless CCP propaganda slandering and defaming Falun Gong, I had completely changed my mind about Dafa.
Yet during the last ten years, my husband's strong faith in Dafa cultivation has never faltered. I have seen many positive changes, and also came to witness the miracles of Dafa. Right from the start my husband did not take any medication, and his health has been steadily improving. Prior to being a practitioner, he had many bad personality traits such as being narrow-minded, selfish, conceited, inconsiderate of others. All of these gradually diminished as he continued to practice Dafa. In today’s culture, everyone wants to have a better life, but they end up feeling rather tired and disappointed with life. By comparison, my husband is peaceful, cheerful, and he treats others kindly and with sincerity. As a result, he is admired and well respected by those around him.
As time went by, I stopped being against Dafa, and I began to develop strong faith in Dafa. I began to live by the principles of Truth, Compassion and Forbearance and I took the initiative in eliminating my bad behaviors derived from the degenerated morality in our society. I began to see that I was changing gradually, as well.
My husband began to notice, and one day in early 2008, we watched a truth-clarification movie on prophecy. It brought to light ancient prophecies concerning today's calamities as a result of the decline of human morality. It also mentioned that only Dafa could save people. After I watched the movie, I was deeply moved. Maybe it was about time for me to really start cultivation. Without letting my husband know, I found a copy of his Zhuan Falun. In just a few days, I read the book three times and this time I rationally understood that this was a book to genuinely learn how to cultivate in the Great Law.
Finally I had learned the Fa! Over the next few days I could not stop crying, as I was thankful to our Teacher for not giving up on me. I thanked my husband for compassionately encouraging me to take up this predestined opportunity. Holding the book with both hands I knelt down in front of Teacher's portrait, and said, “Teacher, your disciple will cherish this opportunity, I will cultivate well and I will enlighten to Dafa and return home.”
Tests
Even though I learned the Fa quite late, the process of understanding Dafa was very quick. Just as Teacher said in “Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Singapore”:
“Later on, and more so recently, I found that new students seem to surpass old students when it comes to obtaining the Fa. In other words, they don’t have the obstacle of understanding it perceptually. They embrace it right away and immediately throw themselves into it without needing a transitional process to understand it—“Am I able to learn this?” “Do I want to learn this?” They have none of that, nor “Are the principles you talk about right?” In other words, although these students obtained the Fa later on, I’ve found that they haven’t been left behind. Through their own efforts they’ll catch up soon.”
In 2008, at the Dragon Boat Festival, I went to my parents' home. As my husband was being persecuted for practicing Dafa, my father was against Dafa, so I was reluctant to tell him that I also was cultivating in Dafa. I only told my mother, sister and brother. However, in the end, when my father found out, he became furious. I came to understand that it was a test for my faith in Dafa; and he did not move me. Even though I did not know how to explain the facts, my faith did not waver. Now my father is not against me any more, and all my family members have resigned from the CCP and its affiliated organizations, the Communist Youth League and the Young Pioneers.
My husband took me to a practitioner's house to celebrate Teacher's birthday on May 13, 2008, World Falun Dafa Day. This was my very first time meeting other practitioners, and I was feeling solid in Dafa. The fellow practitioners gave me, as a new practitioner, a lot of encouragement, and they shared with me on where I had misunderstandings, which was very helpful.
One day in July, my husband told me that the practitioners whom we had recently visited had been arrested by police officers, their home was ransacked, and there were many other practitioners arrested and persecuted. Hearing that, I was shocked; because even though I was aware the persecution was going on, I still found it very hard to believe this was happening to people around me. When my husband saw me in shock, he asked me: “Are you afraid?” I responded, “Of course not,” right away without thinking. But I was shocked by the evil's brutality and craziness. However, I was not afraid, as Teacher said in “Some Thoughts of Mine” (Essentials for Further Advancement II):
“You should know that once a person learns the truth and the real meaning of life, he will not regret giving up his life for it.”
Soon after, we began jointly working on a project for rescuing those practitioners, and I was sending forth righteous thoughts at home. At that time, it was right before the Beijing Olympics, the situation was rather tense, and during the process of rescuing fellow practitioners, police officers arrested my husband under the pretense of investigation. This time, I had witnessed the persecution right in front of me. Seeing that police officers were arresting my husband downstairs, I hid all of our Dafa books, and I kept sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil factors persecuting us. I kept looking within, and when I found attachments, I began to eliminate them. I also took the initiative in talking to the police officers that arrested my husband. I understood that Teacher was strengthening me. I had no attachment to fear at that time, I truly believed that evil couldn't prevail, and that my husband would come back home safe and sound. My husband was also opposing the persecution with his righteous thoughts, and his belief in Teacher and Dafa. Under the cooperation of our small group, within 24 hours, my husband safely returned home.
I often read the sharing articles from the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom). Seeing that practitioners were making fact clarifying materials and delivering them all over China, I talked to my husband about making flyers myself. I already had a computer at home, so I bought a printer, and we began to print truth-clarification letters. We explored all avenues to find addresses by writing to friends, classmates, teachers and colleagues, and visiting websites. We hand addressed the envelopes in all different writing styles, and I made use of the weekends to mail them out. Later when my husband brought some truth-clarification DVDs home, we began to copy those DVDs for distribution too.
Once we were handing out truth-clarification DVDs, and noticed that someone had followed us. Again, only my husband was arrested. Even though I was handing out truth-clarification DVDs with my husband, they didn't see that we were together, so they didn't arrest me. After returning home, my attachment of fear kept flaring up. I was afraid that they would recognize me later, or other people in my workplace wouldn’t understand me, and my employment would be implicated, etc. I kept sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the fear and interference. We were doing the most wonderful thing in the world, how could we be afraid of these insignificant evils? Everything is in Teacher's hands. Fellow practitioners also kept helping me to understand the deeper meaning of the Fa-principles, so that I could search for my loopholes. I came to realize that I had a very strong attachment to doing things, a show-off mentality, and did not work well with my husband, and with my attachment to fear; I was taken advantage of by the evil. I began to send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate them, as I clearly understood that they were not the true me, and I didn't want any of them.
Teacher said in “What’s to Fear?” (Hong Yin II)
Should you have fear,
it will seize upon you
If thoughts are righteous,
evil will collapse
Soon enough, my husband came back. This time together we saw many of our attachments. We eliminated them and improved ourselves, and turned a bad thing into a good thing.
Improving Xinxing
After I became a practitioner, I have made Fa study a priority. My xinxing improved a lot, and I truly felt that my view towards life fundamentally changed.
After I obtained the Fa, many of my attachments were removed. Yet when they surfaced sometimes, I knew that they were not truly me, so I eliminated them from my heart and refused to act them out. At that time, my daughter was about to go to junior high school. I always wanted to send her to a good school, and when she was still very young I set out to accomplish this by getting help from my social network, or by bribing people in order for her to have a good future [a very common and accepted practice in today's China].
After I obtained the Fa, I came to understand what Teacher said in “Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Europe”:
“The meaning is, a person absolutely cannot change others’ lives. You can’t even control your own life, let alone the lives of others. No matter how hard a person tries, he’s merely walking down the path of his own existence. Maybe it seems like you’ve obtained something with your efforts, when in fact it was inevitable.”
After I understood the Fa-principles, I had a talk with my daughter. I wanted her to go to a school close to us, so that she didn't have to live on campus far away from our home. She would then be more influenced by us, and more removed from the contaminated everyday society. She has now learned Falun Dafa too. At that time, my colleagues didn't understand me, as the school in our area was not very good, so many of their kids chose to go to other schools. Facing this, I responded with a smile: My child has her fate, it doesn't matter which school she goes to. I was rid of my competitive mentality, vanity, and I stopped feeling jealous about other kids going to better schools.
Prior to Dafa I didn't have a very good relationship with my in-laws because of financial issues. Through Fa-study, I let go of the attachment to money.
Teacher said in Zhuan Falun:
“It is said in religion that regardless of how much money you have or how high your position ranks, it is good for only a few decades.”
I took the initiative in asking my husband to give money to his parents. Also during the period when my mother-in-law was hospitalized, we covered her hospital bills, and this resulted in resolving our conflicts so that our family members were finally able to see the beauty of Dafa.
I came to the Fa with a fear of dying. After I learned the Fa, I gave up this thinking. However, after my mother-in-law passed away last year, my fear popped up again. I understood that this state was not right, and I have been negating it, by sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the fear elements and nasty substance in my dimensional field. It wasn't as strong as before, but still, my fear was not completely removed.
In the process of sharing with other practitioners, they suggested that I look for my fundamental attachments. It was suggested that I read “Towards Consummation” in Essentials for Further Advancement II:
“Studying the Fa with attachments is not true cultivation. Yet during the course of cultivation a person may gradually become aware of his fundamental attachments, rid himself of them, and thus meet the standard for a cultivator. What’s a fundamental attachment, then? Human beings acquire many notions in this world and are, as a consequence, driven by these notions to pursue what they yearn for. But when a person comes to this world, it is karmic arrangements that determine his course of life and what will be gained and lost in it. How could a person’s notions determine each stage of his life? So those so-called "beautiful dreams and wishes" become pursuits that can never be realized, despite painful attachments.”
“You may start on the path of Dafa with those thoughts, yet over the course of cultivation you need to regard yourself as a cultivator. During the course of cultivation, however, through reading the books, studying the Fa, and diligently making progress, you should clearly recognize what your thoughts were when you first came to Dafa. After cultivating for a period of time, are your thoughts still the same? Are you continuing on the path because of those human attachments? If so, you cannot be counted as my disciple. It means that you haven’t gotten rid of your fundamental attachments and that you are unable to understand the Fa from the Fa.”
I came to realize what my fundamental attachment was when I first came to Dafa cultivation. I was afraid of death, afraid of losing this physical body, afraid of losing the so-called comfortable life in the human world. After I came to realize it, I added another thought in sending forth righteous thoughts: eliminating my attachment to comfort, and the pursuit of a “happy” life as an ordinary person. I also restrained the attachments by my actions, in not allowing them to interfere with me. Gradually, with the improvement of my xinxing, this fear has become less and less.
Clarifying the Truth to Saving Sentient Beings
I work in a large state-run company. It has many employees, and no Dafa practitioners. No matter where I was, sitting on the bus, or at my day-to-day work, I would hold a strong thought in my mind: “For all people to have good thoughts about Dafa and Dafa disciples; let them have the opportunity to understand the truth and be saved.” Whenever there is an opportunity for me to have a one-on-one conversation with someone, I send forth righteous thoughts first, then clarify facts about Dafa and help them withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
When I clarify the facts, I talk about the unhealthy phenomena in the world such as the overall decline of morality, unfairness in society, and the gap between rich and poor. I also touch upon how our traditional Chinese culture is being destroyed, and the increase in natural calamities brought about by the evil CCP. I tell people about how Dafa has spread widely in the world and its beauty, and then tell them that Dafa is only persecuted in China by the CCP and that whatever they have seen on TV is purely for the purpose of slandering and defaming Dafa. My presenting things this way has been fairly well received by people, so the majority of them are willing to withdraw from the CCP. Now most of my colleagues have proceeded with the “three withdrawals.” There were also some managers in my work who quit the party and its affiliated associations.
Recently, I was transferred to another work team and assigned to a new position. The working environment was harder and the management was less flexible, as well. After I was there for a short while, I enlightened to this principle: It was Teacher who had arranged a new environment for me to save those people with predestined relationships and it is not a concern to me what kind of working environment or management style it involves. I told myself every day that I would hold myself strictly to a practitioner's standards, and leave others with a good impression, as our cultivation path will be left for the future generations. I must do well, and seize every opportunity to clarify the facts and help save people around me in my environment.
There are many areas that I need to improve on: sometimes when I study the Fa, I become sleepy; sometimes when I was sending forth righteous thoughts, my mind is not clean; I couldn't get up in the mornings to do the exercises because of my attachment to comfort. I like to hear pleasing words, yet I'm afraid of being criticized by others; when a conflict arises, I cannot always look within, and I also have a lot of human notions hindering me from improving myself.
I will study the Fa more, cultivate diligently, walk every step well in my cultivation path, not waste this opportunity of a millennium, not disappoint Teacher's saving grace, nor take for granted the greatest title ever bestowed upon beings in the cosmos: A Dafa disciple!
Thank you Teacher, thank you all fellow practitioners who have given me your best support!
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Category: Improving Oneself
