(Clearwisdom.net) During the past 12 years of cultivation, I have made mistakes from time to time. But thanks to Teacher's compassionate care and assistance, I have been able to make it through today. I understood the meaning of life and the preciousness of having the opportunity to practice. Falun Dafa changed my life. Here, I would like to report my journey to Master and practitioners.
Raised in the education system designed by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), I was an atheist. I did not believe that there were divine beings, let alone believe that a human being could become a divine being through cultivation. However, when I began to practice of Falun Dafa, I felt the Falun turning and I experienced things that I could not explain, which were shocking to me at the time. I behaved according to the teachings and gradually let go of my attachments to fame and personal gain.
Falun Dafa Helped Me to Believe in Myself When I Was Lost
The Persecution of Falun Dafa began in 1999. A co-worker, who was also a practitioner, and I were taken to a forced labor camp in 2003. My husband was a supervisor where I worked and I felt a lot of pressure from him. He told me to stop practicing Falun Dafa so my daughter could stay in school and he could save his reputation and career. He also did not want me to risk my safety for the practice. I gave in and stopped practicing. In the next several months, I suffered a lot mentally and did not know what to think. In the end, I understood that Falun Dafa had rooted in my heart and I could not give it up. I started to practice again. My husband also threatened to divorce me. I thought about it and believed that, although I did not want to hurt my family, it was time for me to give up human sentimentality. I needed to practice openly and nobly. There was nothing wrong with being a practitioner. I did not want to think too much and was ready for whatever was coming. I told my husband what I thought. He said nothing, as if nothing had happened, and did not mention divorce again.
Our tribulations in the practice come from our human notions. I am very family oriented and the old forces used this to test me. I passed the test because I let go of my attachment to my family. Later on, I was often trapped in feelings of guilt. I frequently felt ashamed and uneasy because of something I did not do well in cultivation. I was this way for several years. Because I did not realize my state of mind, I gradually felt inferior; I even believed that I was the part of the third group of practitioners who did not have a predestined relationship with Teacher and hadn't vowed to help validate the Fa before I came here. I was afraid that I would fail in the practice because I had so many attachments.
Such thoughts and feelings had become a hindrance and prevented me from progressing diligently. It was not until, while studying the Fa, that I realized that this state of mind was a manifestation of an attachment to self. I also realized how Teacher had been encouraging us in his Fa. Gradually I stopped thinking about how “I” was and only focused on how I could save more people each day. I am a practitioner in Fa rectification and every sentient being in the cosmos envies me. I must live up to this title.
Saving Beings by Clarifying the Facts about Falun Dafa
I knew that studying the Fa is the basis and guarantee we will do the three things well. I began to memorize Zhuan Falun. When I memorized the teachings, my mind was tranquil, as if I had melted into the Fa. My entire body and mind were bathed in the Fa and I didn't have any distracting thoughts. Initially I could only memorize a few pages a day. Slowly I could do more, sometimes 10 pages a day. It took me six months to memorize the entire book. When I was on the last few pages, I saw that every word in Zhuan Falun was glittering with golden light and I felt surrounded by strong energy.
As I continued to memorize the teachings, I was naturally able to remember and recite them faster. When I encountered a problem in the practice, the teachings in Zhuan Falun that could help solve the problem would appear in my mind and guide me.
“The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference” from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I understood how to be a practitioner during Fa rectification from Teacher's lecture Touring North America to Teach the Fa and felt the great mission I shoulder,
“whereas assisting Master, saving sentient beings, and validating the Fa constitute the true purpose of being a Dafa disciple” (“Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan”)
Before I left my house to distribute Falun Dafa fliers, I recited Teacher's words,
“The old forces don't dare to oppose our clarifying the truth or saving sentient beings. What's key is to not let them take advantage of the gaps in your state of mind when you do things.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston”)
I reassured myself that I was doing the most righteous thing in the cosmos and no evil was allowed to interfere. I looked within to examine whether I had distracting thoughts in my mind and tried to rectify them. I then sent righteous thoughts to eliminate all evil, dark minions, rotten demons, and all factors that could interfere with my distributing the materials. As long as what I did was for saving sentient beings and I did it rationally, I never had a problem.
When I clarified the facts about the persecution of Falun Gong with strong righteous thoughts and complete altruism, when I believed that I was there to save people and was not affected by whatever they said, most of the time I could get them to quit the Chinese Communist Party and its affiliated organizations. As the Fa rectification moved forward, I could clearly feel that sentient beings were waking up, and even those who refused to listen to me eventually quit the CCP.
After reading “Be More Diligent,” I felt the urge to save people even more strongly. I began mailing information and making phone calls to clarify the facts. Through constantly rectifying myself and learning, I realized that the outcome of making phone calls is tightly connected with our state of mind. When I studied the Fa well and was fearless and compassionate, the outcome was very good. Some people didn't want me to stop explaining things to them.
Getting Through Tribulations with Righteous Thoughts
In 2004, my husband lost a lot of money gambling. I forgot that I was a practitioner and wanted my husband to gamble again so he could win the money back. The old forces took advantage of this thought, and suddenly I had problems breathing and my heart felt like it almost stopped beating. My family was ready to call the emergency number. At that moment I remembered that I was a practitioner and Teacher was protecting me. I thought to myself, “I am Master Li Hongzhi's student and do not allow persecution by dark minions and rotten demons. I will not acknowledge the old forces' arrangements. Please help me, Teacher!” In less than a minute, all my symptoms disappeared. My family was in disbelief. The lesson was hard-learned. Cultivation is a very serious matter, and if a practitioner doesn't follow the teachings and just indulges his desires, he will be in great danger.
In 2009, I was on a business trip. I clarified the facts to an acquaintance and he reported me to my supervising department. When I returned home the next day, I learned that my employers were trying to sue me. I was scared for a minute but immediately realized that it was interference from the old forces. There was nothing wrong with my clarifying the facts about Falun Dafa. It was the most righteous thing to do in the cosmos.
I would not allow the persecution and would not acknowledge it. There must have been something wrong in my thinking that created such a situation. I looked within and realized that when I clarified the facts to my acquaintance, I was in a hurry and did it in a perfunctory way. I was not rational in the process either. After I found my gap, I was not afraid because I knew that the old forces could not do a thing when my thoughts were righteous.
“And you shouldn't acknowledge them either. Do things well in an upright and dignified way, negate them, and strengthen your righteous thoughts some. 'I'm Li Hongzhi's disciple, I don't want other arrangements or acknowledge them'--then they won't dare to do that. So it can all be resolved.” (“Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the Western U.S. Fa Conference”)
I asked several practitioners to send righteous thoughts with me. I asked Teacher to help me negate the old forces and eliminate all evil factors that were behind the persecution. I would not allow the old forces to commit crimes against Dafa or sentient beings. At that moment, I felt strong energy throughout my body and that I was indeed protected by Teacher. I sent righteous thoughts the entire night. When I got tired, I rested a little and memorized the teachings. I also spent the next day mainly sending righteous thoughts. On the third day I learned that the supervising department had dropped the idea and was no longer going to sue me. With practitioners' help and my righteous thoughts, the evil factors were eliminated. Teacher protected me and helped me to pass another test.
Another time I experienced the power of righteous thoughts when my husband borrowed a company car and we went on a vacation. He intended to use the company gas card to pay for our gas. I didn't think it was right because we were taking advantage of the company. I could not allow it as a practitioner. However, I did not say anything because my husband would not understand me. With this one thought, the gas card did not work at any of the gas stations we went to. My husband thought it was strange because he had used the card the day before and it had worked fine.
Teacher has given us supernormal abilities. As long as we use them correctly, they will work. To use our supernormal abilities with righteous thoughts is also a manifestation of our belief in Teacher and the Fa.
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