(Clearwisdom.net) I obtained the Fa on June 20, 1998. After I finished reading Zhuan Falun in one stretch, I realized that this book revealed the true meaning of life for which I had been searching. I understood that the real purpose of life was to return to our true selves and eliminate attachments and human notions in order to purify our minds and assimilate to Dafa.
At the time, I was very proud. I came from a good family and had a good job. Although I began practicing Falun Dafa with the attachment to complacency and desiring a good life, Master still took care of me. My cultivation environment was very good. Several fellow practitioners and I often shared experiences, did the exercises together, and spread the Fa together. Master arranged for me to attend various activities with practitioners. I did the Falun Gong exercises every day and felt I was the happiest and most enriched person in the world.
On July 20, 1999, when the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) head, Jiang Zemin, started to persecute Falun Gong, I read Zhuan Falun one more time with a calm mind. I thought that Falun Gong was a practice with great virtue, which history would prove. No matter what happened, I was determined to cultivate all the way until the end. Just this one thought helped me get through those days filled with the government's lies and propaganda. I persisted, studying the Fa and cultivating my mind. Soon I started to distribute fliers to clarify the truth about the persecution.
By 2001, I was going out to regularly to distribute truth-clarification materials in busy areas such as markets, parks, and busy streets, and I told my relatives and friends the truth about Falun Gong. My mind was very pure when I spoke. I had only one thought: that people know that such a good practice should not be persecuted. Maybe because of this pure mentality, Master protected me, and I was able to safely ride out those two years.
After reading Master's article “Righteous Thoughts,” published on October 13, 2002, I realized that I needed to do things more rationally and with greater wisdom. I started to distribute truth-clarification materials to a wider range of people.
Released from Detention with Master's Protection
Three years ago, I went to a rural area far from my home to distribute Falun Gong materials with my relative, another practitioner. We were, however, reported. The police officer handcuffed us and many people stopped to watch. I shouted, "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good! Falun Dafa is good!" The policeman behind me kicked me in the back, attempting to stop me from calling out. I did not feel any pain and turned around and told him, "You are a policeman, yet you kick a woman for no reason! You will receive retribution."
On the way to the police station, I talked with my relative, and we agreed that we wanted to spread the facts about Falun Gong wherever we went. I recited Master's poem “Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions” (from Hong Yin II) in my heart:
“A Great Enlightened One fears no hardship
Having forged an adamantine will
Free of attachment to living or dying
He walks the path of Fa-rectification confident and poised”
I felt that I carried a sacred historic mission. The police asked me why I was shouting. I replied with righteous thoughts, "Because I practice Falun Dafa, and I am a law-abiding citizen and a good daughter, a good wife, and a good mother at home. Handcuffs are for bad people. You handcuffed me. Do you think that Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance are wrong? Yet here I am in handcuffs—this is unacceptable treatment of a kind person. I wanted to let people know that you are persecuting Falun Gong and that good people practice Falun Gong."
I clarified the truth to every policeman I met. I did not answer their questions. I was detained for almost 20 hours, but with Master's protection, I was finally released. I examined myself carefully: how could the evil have taken advantage of my loopholes? First, I had a strong attachment to traveling, but I also had attachments to beauty and curiosity, a desire for a romantic relationship, and to enjoying life and vanity. I had not gotten rid of these attachments during my nine years of cultivation because they were so deeply hidden inside of me. They then caused me to falter in my truth-clarification efforts. For example, I was not focused when distributing truth-clarification materials in this small village. I did not even send righteous thoughts before going. My heart was occupied by doing pleasurable things in this new environment and enjoying the scenery. The evil can use this kind of loophole to trip us up.
Master said:
"...after all, however trying hardship may be, it's over after you get through it, and at that point things are clear to you. Rather, to quietly cultivate in bleak loneliness, unable to see hope, is the hardest of all. Doing any form of cultivation entails undergoing a trial such as this and a path with such features. Only if one can persevere and continually forge ahead does it amount to true diligence. It's easy to talk about, but putting it into action is tremendously difficult. That is why it's said that always cultivating as if you were just starting will surely result in achieving your ultimate rank." (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference”)
I read this paragraph repeatedly with tears in my eyes. It pointed out my attachments so clearly. Why was it so painful for me when I wanted to get rid of my attachments and bad substances? At the important moment of assisting Master to save sentient beings, why did I still want to travel? Should I just stand by helplessly when my relatives and fellow practitioners were being persecuted? Why was I not disclosing the persecution and clarifying the facts about Falun Gong to others?
Now I am busy but always feel calm. I arrange my time accordingly to clarify the truth and do the three things well. I follow the natural course of events in my day-to-day life. I feel the joy and sacred mission of assimilating to Dafa.
Passing the Test of Sickness Karma with Righteous Thoughts
Before practicing, I suffered from some minor illnesses like an ovarian cyst, pharyngitis, and sinusitis, but these were all cured soon after I began practicing when I was just over 20 years old.
One day in 2004, I suddenly suffered from severe chest pain. I looked inwards to identify any incorrect thinking. In those days, I did not remember the Fa after I read it. I was buried by the attachments of living in my everyday life and often complained. After discovering my problem, I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate my attachments. I was fine when I woke up the next morning.
I had a high fever for one week at the end of 2005 and did not maintain any righteous thinking. At that time, my attachment of competitiveness was very strong and I was stuck in everyday people's conflicts. I did not find those attachments in time and get rid of them completely. The old forces took advantage of my loopholes. I did not pass this test well. My husband took me to hospital to get fluids and I am still very regretful about this. Only later did I follow Master's requirement by looking inward to find out why things went wrong in my life.
A some point my teeth became loose and I had a toothache for about a year. There were ulcers on my gums, too. Sometimes they would get better, but at other times they would flare up. I needed to look inwards. My non-practitioner friends invited me to attend their parties. I wasted much of my valuable time on this in the name of clarifying the truth. I developed an attachment to pursuing comfort, an attachment to meddling in others' affairs, and was not mindful of cultivating my speech. One afternoon, I suddenly had a high fever, and the ulcers on my gums worsened. I could not even open my mouth. Every breath I took hurt because my throat was so swollen. I sent righteous thoughts right away: “I am a Dafa disciple in the Fa-rectification period. I deny any arrangement of the old forces.” I knew this test was bigger because I did not pass the last one. I was determined: “I will use this opportunity to pass the test with righteous thoughts.” I remembered Teacher's words:
"So think about it, as far as our students are concerned, it was as if I scooped you out of hell back then. (Applause) I have truly borne for you the sins you committed over hundreds and thousands of years. And it doesn't stop at just that. Because of this, I will also save you and turn you into Gods. I have spared no effort for you in this process." (“Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference”)
I was very grateful for Master's mercy in saving me. I realized that, in light of all that Master had done for me, this little bit of suffering was not too much for me to endure. I knew that my Master had the final say in everything. I recited the Fa-rectification verses and recovered on the fourth day.
Letting Go of Self to Pass the Test of Sentimentality
My husband does not practice, but my son obtained the Fa when he was four years old. My husband created many hardships for me in the first five or six years of my cultivation. I had a lot of attachments at that time, including the pursuit of perfection and being critical and stubborn; I often judged things using my human notions. I felt my husband was not good enough for me. I focused on his shortcomings and my strengths. I got rid of some of these through cultivation, but have not eliminated them completely.
My son's third eye was open when he obtained the Fa. He was able to meditate for a full hour each time. We studied the Fa, did the exercises, and shared experiences together while he was growing up. He was a good kid. After he entered middle school, he almost stopped practicing, claiming that he had too much homework. His grades were not good, and he had a bad temper. He liked to play games and watch cartoons. He was rebellious. I did not know what to do. Every time I sent righteous thoughts, I tried to clear out those bad substances that were controlling him, but it was not effective. When I anxiously pointed out his problems, he did not take it seriously and often argued with me.
This lasted about two years. One time he shouted at me, "You are not worthy of being a Dafa practitioner!" I was shocked. Master was using his words to offer me a hint. I cried. I saw that I was too attached to my son. I wanted him to be good. I wanted people to praise me for raising him so well. I was anxious and resentful that things were not turning out as I had wished. It was the same way with how I treated my husband. I was arrogant and ultimately very selfish. Dafa cultivation requires us to become a selfless, great enlightened person. How could I be tolerant of others with that kind of selfishness?
"The colossal firmament would have been rebuilt, and the Fa would have re-created all the levels and all the beings. I didn't do it that way, though. I had all beings in the cosmic body learn about the Fa and assimilate to the Fa with righteous thoughts. This is the best benevolent solution, and the approach taken exhibits compassion toward all beings." (“Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference”)
After reading this paragraph, I found that the field around me was clear. I felt then that I knew how to be tolerant. I did not care anymore about what I realized were insignificant losses and gains. I wanted to cultivate a heart of compassion. The strong attachment I had to my son was creating a black substance in his dimensional field. The night after I began to write this article I had a dream. I dreamed that he went out to play, and after searching for him, I finally found him. But he threw mud in my face. This repeated three times, but I did not become angry. I maintained my xinxing and passed the test in my dream. I knew that I had improved. Master took those bad substance off of me. My son has now resumed studying the Fa and sending righteous thoughts. I need to take care of this little fellow practitioner and rectify ourselves using the Fa. My husband has seen the power of Dafa as well. He accepted the facts about Falun Gong and is not deceived by lies. I am confident now that he will have a good future.
One morning while meditating, I entered a very quiet, peaceful state. I saw that I was running in a red robe made of something like Mongolian cloth. I passed through a forest, mountains, rivers, and ruins. It was just like flying. I reached a city and was standing at one of its highest points, with many truth-clarification brochures spreading out from my waist. Many sentient beings were anxiously looking up at me, their hands outstretched. I saw that some of the pamphlets had turned into spinning Faluns, while others had become lotus flowers.
Master is encouraging me to treasure this opportunity to hurry up in saving sentiment beings. I want to become even more diligent, purify my self, and assimilate myself to Dafa with no conditions attached. I want to assist Master to rectify the Fa and fulfill my sacred vows.
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