(Clearwisdom.net) I want to share my recent experiences.
Please kindly point out anything that is not in accordance with the
Fa.
My attachment to technology caused me to slack off in
Fa-study
I began to search for phone numbers online to assist in the effort
of clarifying the truth to people. After collecting the phone
numbers of my high school and college classmates, I also searched
for contact information of fellow practitioners, so that I could
find all the practitioners who had lost contact with our local
group. I spent the whole day searching online, using all kinds of
search engines. Unknowingly, I sunk deeply into an attachment of
relying on the Internet to get information. Consequently, I did not
find any valuable information. As a matter of fact, I could have
gotten some phone numbers directly from friends and former
classmates. While I wasted hours on the Internet searching, I ended
up having no time to study the Fa.
As a result, my left pinky became numb the next day and it remained
like that for a month. Nevertheless, I still did not realize the
reason behind it, and continued spending a large amount of time
searching the Internet and did not have time to study the Fa. It
even took me several days to finish one chapter of Zhuan Falun.
I began to download New Tang Dynasty TV (NTDTV) programs online
because I believed that if I let Chinese people watch those
programs, they would let go of their misunderstandings toward Falun
Gong. I just kept downloading the TV programs one after another,
and eventually I became addicted to doing that. I did not study the
Fa, do the exercises or send forth righteous thoughts at all.
Sometimes I spent the entire evening making computer start-up boxes
that contained the software for breaking through China’s Internet
blockade. After several sleepless nights, I could not concentrate
well at work during the day and also became very anxious. My
younger sister called me one day from my hometown, and complained
that I had not called home for a long time. I was busy downloading
NTDTV videos when she called, and I replied impatiently, “I’m busy
and don’t have time to chat with you right now.” I fell asleep
while riding the bus home after work that day. When I woke up, I
found I had missed my stop and had to get off at the wrong stop. I
had missed the last bus for the night and was left with no choice
but to walk home. I ended up taking a taxi home that night. The
same incident happened again a few days later, and I had to walk
about five bus stops to get home.
Refusing to heed advice from others
Once I wanted to download some videos, but was unsuccessful after I
tried five times. I still did not realize that the problems I
encountered were caused by my attachments. When I went to group
Fa-study, I tried the download after listening to fellow
practitioners share their experiences, but failed once more. A
fellow practitioner criticized me with a stern voice, “When fellow
practitioners share experiences, it’s like we’re having a small Fa
conference. Instead of treasuring our time together, you’re busy
with your own business.” After hearing this, I was startled a
little, but I still asked myself, “Why can’t I download the
files?”
When I read the Fa aloud with the group afterwards, my mind was
still preoccupied, and I constantly made mistakes while reading.
Fellow practitioners reminded me, “Is it because you aren't able to
let go of your attachments and concentrate on the Fa?” I replied,
“It’s true, but I’m trying to eliminate the interference now.”
When we sent forth righteous thoughts, I could not focus my
attention with a tranquil mind. I now finally understand that Dafa
disciples should measure their actions with the Fa. It doesn’t mean
that we should give up when we fail; we should let go of our
attachments, but not the tasks that we do. Only after we let go of
our attachments can we be successful when we do our tasks.
Waking up
When I was cooking dinner one day, I noticed that the spatula in my
hand had a small hole in it. I suddenly realized that it was
telling me that I had loopholes: I paid too much attention to my
technical skills. Whenever I thought about studying the Fa,
practicing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts, I
always used the excuse that I had not solved my technical problems
yet. When I did study the Fa, I often dozed off and did not know
what I was reading. I once recalled a line that I had read that was
not from Zhuan Falun, but from a dream I had while reading
in a sleepy state one day. I was stunned. How dangerous it was!
If I only do things without reading the Fa, I am not a Dafa
disciple. Technical skills are ordinary human abilities. I had the
chance to learn those skills, because Master arranged it for me to
use them to clarify the truth, so that I could help save more
sentient beings, not for me to show off. However, after obtaining
these skills, I totally forgot to lay my foundation on the Fa.
Being attached to technical skills is like becoming attached to
supernormal abilities.
Another problem I had was that I could not get up in the morning to
practice the exercises. Time is also a resource for Dafa; wasting
time is also wasting Dafa resources and accumulating karma. How
many lives would have been saved had I not had wasted so much time!
I should stop wasting my time and break through the barriers.
I am now able to get up in the morning, practice the exercises and
study the Fa with a clear mind. I can also send forth righteous
thoughts without interference. I will continue to cultivate well
and will do better and better every day.
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Category: Improving Oneself
