(Clearwisdom.net) Teacher said,
“If you put Dafa in a secondary place and put your supernatural powers in the primary place, or as an enlightened person you believe that what you understand one way or another is correct, or if you even regard yourself as being great and beyond Dafa, I would say that you have already started to stumble. It would be dangerous and you would become ever worse.” (Zhuan Falun)
I looked inward and found the attachment of thinking that I was very outstanding, even though I had not completed my cultivation. I realized that some of the practitioners around me also had the same attachment. Some appeared to have a very clear understanding of the Fa and could even memorize the Fa. The younger practitioners complained about the older ones, thinking that they were so great because Teacher said that Dafa practitioners were great. They acted prideful and thought that other practitioners were not as good as them. After looking within, I came to the understandings summarized below.
1. I understand that if we do something good, it is because we applied the requirements of the Fa at our present level. Teacher said, “No Dharma is definitive” (Zhuan Falun). At a higher level, whatever we did might be considered wrong. Practitioners who complete their cultivation understand the truth at their level, but this may not be the highest level. If we think our understanding is absolutely right, we run the danger of thinking that we are outstanding.
For example, I didn't like to share with other practitioners at the beginning, but I later changed my mind and felt that it was very positive to share understandings with others. However, if we talk on and on about the same ideas, it is sometimes not a good use of our time. I might occasionally choose a Minghui/Clearwisdom article as the main topic to share, in order to avoid any argument with those who have different understandings than mine. I believe that I have improved quite a lot in this manner.
2. I have the shortcoming of trying to appear better at doing something than someone else, and of highlighting their weakness to make myself look good. For example, one practitioner said to another, “I saved over ten thousand sentient beings. How many have you saved?” The practitioner knew he had not done as well as this and did not wish to lose face. He responded, “What about you? You fought with your younger brother. This means that you did not cultivate your xinxing well!” I have the same attachment. If I came to some new understanding, I went about sharing it with others as if no one could possibly understand it better than me. I believed that practitioners who were not good at talking were just not as diligent as me. I eventually realized that those practitioners whom I scorned actually clarified the truth in a very effective and compassionate manner. When it was my turn to clarify the truth, I had difficulty starting out, or I forced others to listen and I could not calm down at all. I was only taking notice of others' negative sides, and failed to realize their positive strengths. What I saw was not the absolute truth and I should not judge them.
Another attachment manifested through my judging people based on outward appearances. I always thought that someone who was attractive and without wrinkles probably cultivated more diligently. Another practitioner had this same notion. One day, she was sending righteous thoughts alongside an older practitioner with a wrinkled face. She thought, “How could this man have cultivated for so many years? Why is his face still full of wrinkles!” We learned however, that this older practitioner was actually a very beautiful young Bodhisattva. This practitioner soon realized, “We can't tell who people are by their appearance. We may look very energetic, but we may not be as good as some older practitioners.” It all comes down to this truth: We should cultivate diligently rather than judge who is good or not!
3. The attachments that we had indicated jealousy. We looked down upon others. I did not treat other practitioners nicely and I could not look inward or listen to comments offered by other practitioners. I even reviewed the strengths of other practitioners with a very critical attitude. I always wanted to find some weakness in others rather than celebrate their strengths. If I didn't find any weakness, then I began to greatly admire and almost worship this practitioner. I suddenly enlightened to Teacher's Fa, “If jealousy isn’t eliminated, all the thoughts you’ve cultivated become fragile.” (Zhuan Falun) The jealousy negatively influenced my righteous thoughts. I found that many practitioners around me had the same attachment. For example, there were two practitioners who had been arrested and jailed. One was badly tortured in detention. The one who was abused thought, “Why am I kicked so much? Why didn't they kick her? What's so wonderful about you?” The other practitioner had very strong righteous thoughts and was not tortured by the police.
This attachment originated from the Chinese Communist Party's indoctrination of absolute egalitarianism. This philosophy maintains that people should all be “equal” and receive the same rewards and benefits. For example, two people graduated from a university, but one did not find a good job. The person without a job was very jealous. We should understand that the reason is just “fate.” We all have different abilities and opportunities. We should eliminate the attachments of jealousy and of judging others.
The above are my understandings at my current level. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
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