(Minghui.org) When my grandson was two years old, my daughter-in-law insisted that she wanted to work full-time, and she planned to have my husband and I take care of our grandson. I said to her with compassion and seriousness, "I am a cultivator. I have to place validating the Fa and saving sentient beings first. I will not give up stepping forward to clarify the facts. I have to have half a day at my disposal."
--From the author
I'm a 59-year-old female Dafa disciple in southern China. I obtained the Fa in 1997. After having gone through more than a decade of ups and downs on the path of cultivation, many fellow practitioners have now become elderly, and many female practitioners face a common challenge: taking care of grandchildren. In our area, some practitioners who have experienced severe persecution and have steadfastly made it through are bothered by the test of affection among family members: from being unable to step forward, and only studying the Fa and doing the exercises at home, to gradually failing to persist in studying the Fa and doing the exercises. Some individual practitioners who have a serious attachment to the affection among family members even went so far as to go to temples to seek “spunk” water for their children and grandchildren, and ask Taoist priests to chant incantations to ensure the peace of their children and grandchildren, and other things which have seriously betrayed the principles of Dafa cultivation. As a result, some elderly practitioners could not do the three things well, some developed serious symptoms of sickness karma, and some have even had their lives taken away by the old forces.
Here I'd like to talk about how I broke through the test of the affection for family and walk righteously and steadfastly on the path of Fa-rectification.
I. Be Clear about Fa Principles and Melt Every One of My Thoughts Into the Fa
Many elderly female fellow practitioners have lower education levels; some are stuck at home all year long being housewives, and the center of their lives are taking care of all sorts of family affairs. In the maze of the human world, they are prone to be affected and troubled by affection among family members. Thus, studying the Fa well is their foundation, and also the key.
Master has repeatedly reminded us to study the Fa well. Master said in Zhuan Falun,
“Cultivation practice must take place through tribulations so as to test whether you can part with and care less about different kinds of human sentimentality and desires. If you are attached to these things, you will not succeed in cultivation.” (Lecture Four)
“If you are free from this sentimentality, nobody can affect you. An everyday person’s mind will be unable to sway you. What takes over in its place is benevolence, which is something more noble.” (Lecture Four)
“In the course of samsara, you have had mothers who were human and non-human, and there are too many of them to be numbered. It is also countless how many sons and daughters you have had throughout your different lifetimes. Who is your mother? Who is your son or daughter? No one knows it after one passes away. You must still pay for what you owe others. Human beings live in delusion and just cannot give up these things.” (Lecture Six)
Master also told us,
“Those who are attached to affection for family will definitely be burned, entangled, and tormented by it. Pulled by the threads of affection and plagued by them throughout their lives, they will find it too late to regret at the end of their lives.” (“Cultivators' Avoidances,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
We cultivate without leaving the secular world and in the method of a Great Way Without Form, thus whether we are diligent or not all depends on our one thought. Either our heart is on the Fa, and we let go of everything, and strive forward diligently; or we are deluded in the mundane world, and are burdened and controlled by the affection for family, and we will be mixed up with everyday people and in the end bitterly miss the opportunity to cultivate.
II. Relinquish Attachment to Affection for the Family, Place Top Priority on Validating the Fa and Saving Sentient Beings
I understand, being a Fa-rectification Period Dafa Disciple, I should keep up with Master's process of Fa-rectification, I can't be limited to being a good person among everyday people, and thereafter be confined to personal cultivation; instead, I should place top priority on validating the Fa and saving sentient beings. Thus, I will be able to see through all kinds of false images, and drive out interference from all aspects.
In recent years I have lived with my children and grandchildren. Our family of six is crowded into a house about 70 square meters. I often sleep with my 6-year-old granddaughter on the upper berth of a bunk bed. My grandson and granddaughter play around and make a lot noise. They indeed disturb my cultivation environment for studying the Fa and doing the exercises.
When my grandson was one year old, my daughter-in-law wanted my husband and I to take care of him, while she intended to work full-time at her good friend's place. I refused her request, and told her that I must have a half-day at my disposal (I have been going out to pass out truth clarification materials face-to-face, and encourage people to quit the Chinese Communist Party and its affiliated organizations.) As a result, my daughter-in-law cried and shouted, and argued endlessly. Due to a variety of household chores, the grievances between my daughter-in-law and I piled up. With her endless arguing, I developed the attachments of impatience and resentment. I understand from the Fa principles that Fa-rectification requires me to insist on cultivation principles, and not to slack off in doing well the three things. I should also look within at all times, and balance well the relationships in all aspects. I continuously recited Master's article “What is Forbearance (Ren)” (Essentials For Further Advancement), rectified myself in the Fa, got rid of my unkind and bad thoughts, maintained a compassionate state of mind, and told my daughter-in-law in a peaceful tone: My husband, your son's grandfather, is not in good health, and needs to have a stress-free life. It takes the three of us to look after the child, we are all too tired to endure. If you leave your son completely to us, the elderly grandparents, it will be even harder, won't it? It will be a strain for us to take good care of the child, and we two elderly people will have burned ourselves out. After listening to my compassionate explanation, my daughter-in-law stopped making trouble.
When my grandson was two years old, my daughter-in-law again insisted on going back to work full time. I proposed to send my grandson to kindergarten. She argued that he was too young for kindergarten. I suggested that she hire someone for child care for half of the day every day. She opposed this on the grounds that it was too costly. I told her that I would cover the child care cost, and it would not cost her a penny. She still refused, citing that she could not trust others taking care of her son. I understood that it was the old forces making use of her, using the affection for the family to interfere with the important tasks of my assisting Master in rectifying the Fa and saving sentient beings. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the dark minions and rotten demons that manipulated her behind the scenes. I then said to her with compassion and seriousness, "I am a cultivator. I have to place validating the Fa and saving sentient beings first. I will not give up stepping forward to clarify the facts. I have to have half a day of free time." At the same time, I talked to her about how Dafa practitioners around the world have been carrying out the important task of clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings. In the end, my husband agreed to take care of our grandson in the morning, and I just had to take care of him while he took a nap in the afternoon. As a result, every morning, I continued to go out to clarify the facts face to face, to persuade people to withdraw from the CCP and its affiliates, and fulfill the responsibilities of a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple.
One day when my son came home from work, he had an unpleasant look on his face and said to me, "What trouble have you made outside again? Even the leaders of my factory have received reports." I immediately told him, "No, that was not the case." He continued with displeasure, "You still deny it! Leaders at my workplace called me. I am ruined! I may lose my job! What's the entire family to do? Can your retirement salary support the entire family?" I realized that my son was driven by fear, had become irrational, and kept whining and ranting and saying bad things. My husband and daughter-in-law also started yelling at me. It felt like the sky was about to fall. I calmed down my heart, knowing it was all arranged by the old forces, it was all interference, and illusion. When my son realized coercion would not work, he tried a soft approach. He said, "You just take a break at home for a couple of days. Don't go out. I beg you to not go out this one time." I had been quietly saying in my heart, "I will deny all arrangements by the old forces and walk down the path arranged by Master" At the same time, I calmly said to my husband, "It could be that the workplace had received some instructions to make an inquiry to family members, which is just a formality." My husband regained his composure. He made a phone call to the workplace leaders. It was indeed as I expected. All my family member's complaints and grudges were gone. The next morning, I left home with truth clarification materials again and hit the road to save sentient beings.
Master told us in Zhuan Falun,
"Those who develop supernormal abilities are usually at both ends: Children do not have attachments, and neither do elderly people—especially elderly women. They can easily develop and preserve this capability."
I enlightened that for elderly women, we are not attached to or pursuing fame, fortune, or sexual desire. However, we tend to be attached to the affection among family members. We are especially prone to be interfered with or driven by the affection for grandchildren. I wrote down my experiences to share with fellow practitioners in similar situations. Please kindly point out anything that is not in compliance with Fa principles.
Thank you, our great Master of benevolent compassion!
Thank you fellow practitioners inside and outside China!
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