(Minghui.org) I am a 15-year-old Dafa disciple. I have been cultivating with my mother for over nine years.
Before I practiced cultivation, I often got sick. After I began to practice, although there were still occasional symptoms of a fever or cold, I understood that I was repaying karma. In every instance, I quickly got well when I listened to the recording of Master’s lectures. I could also conduct myself according to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance when I played with my friends. When I just learned how to send forth righteous thoughts on the first day, I could only do it for a few minutes. Later I could send forth righteous thoughts at the multiple set times.
I like to play very much. I am a girl, but a classmate’s parents said I was like a boy when I was in first grade. After I began cultivating, my attachment to playing was difficult to abandon. My mother was worried, but she could not stop me. After she was persecuted, she didn’t work anymore, so she stayed home with me. I quarreled quite a few times with my mother about playing outside, and I stumbled and injured myself as a result. One time mother called me to come home, but I didn't go and kept playing with my friends. This time I stumbled again and bled.
With my mother’s help in reminding me and her understanding of the Fa, when I was in third and fourth grade, I became gentle and quiet. I did respect the old and love the young. But that wasn’t enough. I had to conduct myself according to what Master said, “... full of great aspirations while minding minor details” (“Sage” in Essentials for Further Advancement) and according to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
On summer and winter vacations, I helped Mother make truth-clarification materials.
When I was in fifth and sixth grades, the big dye vat of regular society made me develop some attachments. I was buried in pursuing movie stars, cartoons, and pop music. I studied the Fa less and easily became irritable. I easily quarreled with Mother and forgot that I was a Dafa disciple. In particular, I followed my cousin and listened to pop music. At school, what I heard most from classmates were deviated things, like love and movie stars. I slid down following the social trends and rarely attended the group Fa-study. I also didn’t practice the exercises for a long time, so my health became poor. Once I had a high fever and red dots appeared all over my body. It was very itchy. In this situation, Mother had to take me to the doctor. The doctor diagnosed it as scarlet fever and said that I had to be quarantined at an infectious disease hospital. Mother let me make the decision myself. I decided to go home to listen to the recording of Master’s lectures. Two weeks after I began to listen to the lectures, my fever dropped. Thank you, Master. Master didn’t leave behind this wayward disciple.
After I graduated from primary school, I miraculously entered a key middle school. Mother and I understood that it was arranged by Master.
I shared with Mother about my pursuing movie stars and singing popular songs, which didn’t comply with the Fa. After I told her these things, I felt more relaxed and that I had gotten rid of many burdens. By exchanging views with her, I understood the Fa more clearly. I began striving forward, and my academic record improved. But I still had many attachments to give up.
At school I consciously or unconsciously paid attention to clothes, both mine and others. When one of my friends found a handsome boy, she would take me and another girl to see him. I didn’t refuse her due to my wanting to save face. Over time, I would also look around at school or out in public. Once mother and I were riding a bus to attend the group Fa-study. We were so distracted by a scantily clad lady that we forgot to get off the bus. Mother had to shout to the driver to stop the bus, which he did, so we were not late. Afterwards we realized that we shouldn’t pay attention to such things.
My attachment to competitiveness was also strong. Grandma was mentally ill, babbling all day. I didn’t feel anything different towards her when I was a child. But as I grew up, I began to be disgusted with her. One day, it rained, and I closed the window. But Grandma immediately opened it. Just after I closed it again, Grandma opened it for the second time. I slammed the window in a moment of anger and yelled at her. Afterwards I felt regret. Such things occurred a few times. Some beings might have been controlling her so that she did strange things. But I often forgot that I was a Dafa disciple and should maintain my xinxing. I realized I needed to improve.
I slept a lot, and sometimes I felt dizzy due to over-sleeping. Mother reminded me a few times that “Your Main Consciousness Should Predominate,” but I would not listen. Once when I was lying on the bed, it felt as if something metal had knocked me on the back of my head, and I had to sit up. I looked back, but found nothing. Something really had knocked my head. I had heard the metallic echo. But it didn’t hurt a bit. I was extremely conscious and had not even a little drowsiness. I understood it was Master who gave me a hint. I couldn’t sleep again like that.
I also liked to eat. When I found something I liked to eat, I would fight over it. Every time I ate an apple, if there was another one left, I would eat it even if I had really had enough. As a result, it tasted bitter. Then I had to give the rest of it to Mother. When she ate it, it wasn't bitter.
I also liked drinking beverages. But as I continued to drink more, it seem to have a kind of urine smell. I knew it was a warning that it was time to give up the attachment.
The most difficult attachment to give up was my liking to play. I played outside every day when I was a child. After I grew up, my cousin and aunt took me to play together. Sometimes when my mother ordered me not to play, I wouldn't feel right. It was when I was in middle school that I really realized the harm of such an attachment. Gradually, I took it lightly. But there were also things that lured me in other ways. At first, it was the primary school classmates’ party. Then a friend invited me to a dinner. I didn’t maintain my xinxing and went again. Whenever I went, I dropped down. I also got caught up in ordinary things like watching movies and playing computer games. At one time, my cousin went to play cosplay. I thought it looked interesting, so I went along for the performance. They played the characters in the cartoon that looked like ghosts. My cousin dressed me up like one of the characters, and I performed on stage. Right away I regretted it. I knew that, as a Dafa disciple, the divine beings were looking at me. I thought, “What am I doing here?” But it was too late to regret. I got a headache for two days after I went home. After sharing with Mother, I realized I hadn’t abandoned the attachment. I decided I should conduct myself well, just like mother said, “You should think about it before you decide to play. If you can save people, you go. If you can’t save people, you don’t waste your time.”
Although the process of giving up attachments is painful, as long as I remember that I am a practitioner and that cultivation means giving up attachments, I can pass the tests no matter how difficult it is.
Please kindly point out anything improper.
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