(Minghui.org) I was excited when I heard about the call for papers to commemorate the 20th anniversary of Dafa's public introduction. I had so much to say and tell, and I could not stop crying when I picked up my pen. I cannot describe my gratitude to Teacher. It is Dafa that saved my life and my family.
My Family, Work, and Health Nearing Complete Breakdown
In 1993, our family of three moved into my husband’s parents’ home, since we did not have a house. My husband’s younger brother and his family also lived with us, making eight people in one house. My husband had a bad temper and swore at me all the time. I talked with him about it several times. He said it was just a habit and he meant no harm. But he never swore at his parents or brother. I was upset and felt that he did it to me intentionally. Sometimes I wanted to swear back at him, but I could not and did not know how. I was unable to change him—all I could do was put up with it.
My husband is the eldest son in his family and is a dutiful son. He works hard and does not fight for his own interests. I always felt that my parents-in-law favored their younger son because he was more sociable. For example, my mother-in-law would babysit their children, but not ours. My father-in-law’s company had a subsidized house for sale. It cost only eight thousand yuan for a two-bedroom unit. I wanted to buy it, but my mother-in-law would not let me and suggested that their younger son buy it. He did not want to since he had a house of his own and did not like the layout and the size of the new house. I resented my parents-in-law, feeling that they treated us unfairly. But whenever I complained, my husband would scold me. I was upset and sad, lamenting that I had married the wrong person.
My husband had another bad habit—gambling. He stayed out all the time, sometimes through the night. I fought with him often over this, but to no avail. In October 1995, he again stayed at his workplace to gamble. I told my mother-in-law about it and asked her to do something. My husband came home later and blamed me for telling his mother and fought with me. His brother later joined the fight against me. He beat me and hurt my hand, such that I was unable to use it for two weeks. My husband did not help me and I was truly angry. I was in despair and decided that I could not take it anymore, and I wanted a divorce. I would not stay for another day.
Learning that my brother-in-law had hit me, my parents and siblings were all very upset and wanted to fight for me. My two brothers went to my brother-in-law’s house every day, looking to beat him up, while he stayed and hid at his workplace and would not go home.
I went to court to file for divorce, but I could not find the marriage certificate that was needed. I went to my workplace to ask them to issue me an affidavit, but they refused. Later, my husband asked a friend of mine to call me over to her home. As soon as I walked in, my husband knelt in front of me and cried, asking me to give him another chance. He said that our son was so young, and asked me to wait until he turned 18. My heart softened when he mentioned our son, but I demanded that my husband accept my conditions: From then on we would live separately from his parents, I would not go to his parents’ home, and I would not take care of his parents.
Although we moved out of his parents’ house, the relationship between my husband and me was very cold. I truly had no desire to live with him. We only lived together for our son's sake. I yearned for the day he turned 18 so that I could get a divorce.
At this time, my manager began to dislike me. He ganged up with others at work and made things difficult for me as much as he could. I wanted to switch to another position, but he would not let me no matter what. He said openly, “I am not letting you off so easily. I want you to be miserable.” He called meetings all the time and humiliated me. Other people were afraid to hang around me and dared not to talk with me.
I was looked down upon at work, and the pressure was intense. I was very upset and resentful. The first thing I did every day when I returned home was to sob. Only after that did I feel a bit better. Gradually, the smile disappeared from my face and was replaced with black spots. People said that my face was like a bitter melon and was very ugly. I developed health problems. The worst was the neurasthenia, which kept me from falling asleep the whole night. Sleeping pills were of no help either. I had arrhythmia. Sometimes my heartbeat was over 200, and sometimes it was only 50. I had psoriasis on my scalp, and I suffered from mammary gland hyperplasia. I also had a ringworm infection on my hand and could not touch water without gloves. I saw doctors many times but they did not help.
I was in extreme pain both physically and mentally. I hated my manager, parents-in-law, brother-in-law, and my husband. I felt that society was dark and cold, and no one cared about me or could understand me. I felt I was superfluous. I was like a zombie. My heart was already dead. I couldn't take it anymore and was near a complete breakdown. Life was just too hard and too tiring. I did not want to live. I preferred death.
I told my husband, “If one day I do not come home, don’t wait for me. You take care of our son.” He said, “I know what is on your mind. But if you want to die, why don’t you take that bad manager with you. Kill him with a bomb. It is silly to die by yourself.” I felt that he made sense, but I could not find any explosives. I decided to kill myself with sleeping pills. I went to the drugstore, but they would only sell me a small dosage every few days. Unable to die and unable to live, I truly didn’t know what to do.
All My Illnesses Disappeared after Practicing for 10 Days
A good friend of mine was concerned about me. She told me, “Many people in our neighborhood practice Falun Gong and have had their illnesses healed. Some of them were sicker than you and have all recovered. I've heard that practicing Falun Gong can even keep you from getting upset. Why don’t you try it?” I was quite curious. In June 1998, I started practicing Falun Gong with two goals: one was to see if it could help with my health, and the other was to see how it could keep people from getting upset.
After practicing Falun Gong for about 10 days, all my illnesses disappeared. I felt sleepy after 8:00 p.m., and slept through each night. My heartbeat became normal, and I no longer needed to wear gloves to wash dishes.
One day a neighbor asked me, “What skin care product have you been using recently?” I said, “I do not use anything.” She said, “That is impossible. Your complexion is looking better by the day. It looks fairer and fairer, and the spots have lessened, too. Haven’t you noticed the change?” I said, “I have not looked into the mirror for some time. Really, I have not used any cosmetics. All I have been doing is going to practice Falun Gong every morning.” She said, “You truly are much prettier. Can I go with you tomorrow morning, too?” The next day, we went together.
After I began practicing Falun Gong, I began to read Zhuan Falun. The book said that one cannot kill, because the karma created when one kills is too great; suicide is equivalent to homicide, and both are crimes. I no longer wanted to commit suicide. I also learned that Falun Gong is of the Buddha school and follows Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. For a whole month, I cried whenever I read the book and was not able to control myself. It was out of happiness, because I knew I was to be saved. Teacher would save me. I called from the bottom of my heart, “I want to cultivate. I want to return to my original self and assimilate myself with Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I want to follow Teacher and go home.”
My whole person changed drastically, from inside out. I could not help but feel happy all the time. The feeling was indescribable. People asked me, “Why are you so happy?” I said that it was because I read Zhuan Falun. They were all curious about it. I bought ten copies and gave them to my manager, colleagues, relatives, and friends. Although they did not begin to practice, they all knew that Falun Gong was good. I wanted to let everyone know that Falun Dafa was good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance makes you happy. I have experienced it myself. Indeed, practicing Falun Gong will keep you from getting upset.
Falun Dafa Dissolved the Conflicts between Me and My Mother-in-law
Teacher told us to look inward and examine ourselves for faults when we encounter any conflict. It was my first time to learn to look inward. I no longer looked at others’ mistakes, and only thought of others' good things. Teacher told us to think for others in our speech and conduct, and not to hurt others. I read the book everyday, and my mental state improved daily. I became more tolerant, and felt that all my past sorrows, pains, and resentments were silly. I found that I was a different person. My heart was assimilating to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
My husband told me several times in the previous three years, “My mother wants to visit us and apologize to you. She wants to invite you to join them for New Year's dinner.” I refused. I thought at the time, “You guys beat me and harmed me. An apology is not going to solve anything. I will never forgive you. I will hate you for the rest of my life.” But then I was a practitioner, a person who followed Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I asked myself if I was a good person. Resenting my parents in-law and being jealous of my brother-in-law was not right. I should forgive them. A practitioner should always do the right thing.
A month after I began to cultivate, I decided to take the initiative to visit my parents-in-law. I brought some food that they liked and carried a copy of Zhuan Falun with me, and went to visit them with my husband. As soon as I stepped in the door, they were elated and were all smiles. They said, “You should have come home long ago.” I said to them, “I learned Falun Dafa. It is Teacher Li Hongzhi who led me come to visit you.” My father-in-law said, “Who is Teacher Li?” I opened the book and showed Teacher’s photo to them. My father-in-law said, “Why don’t you leave the book here? I want to read it, too.” They prepared a feast. It was the first time in three years that our whole family sat together to have a meal. It was Falun Dafa that resolved our disputes and restored the laughter among us.
The next weekend I went there again. My father-in-law said, “That book is quite good. I finished it in two days. I found a practice site and began to practice. It had a strong energy field, which is different from other qigong.” (My father-in-law was practicing several different types of qigong because of his illnesses.) From then on, he began to practice Falun Gong.
He used to be on medication and went to the hospital all the time. He suffered from blood-deficiency to the brain, his stomach was partially removed, he had low blood pressure, and he had parasites in his liver. He was very skinny. After beginning to practice Falun Gong, he gained weight, and all his illnesses went away.
When Jiang Zemin began to persecute Falun Gong in 1999, my father-in-law stopped practicing out of fear. In 2007, he suffered from the worst kind of leukemia. The doctor predicted that he would last for only about two more months. My father-in-law did not have chemotherapy or any other treatment. All he did was rest in the hospital, but he lived for seven months. The doctor said it was amazing. My father-in-law benefited from his practice of Falun Gong previously. If it wasn’t for the persecution, he would not have died.
I was a mid-level manager in our company by this point. My workload was heavy and I often had to work overtime. After I began practicing Falun Gong, I became even busier. Whenever I had free time, I would go to my parents-in-law’s home and help with their household chores. My mother-in-law had high blood pressure and heart disease. She liked things to be clean. I took the responsibility for cleaning the kitchen and bathroom and often helped prepare meals.
My parents-in-law were very happy, but they were not good at expressing it. They never said anything directly to me or thanked me or complimented me. But they always praised me when they talked to relatives or friends. My mother-in-law often told my brother-in-law about the gift I had given her. My husband’s cousin came to visit and said to me when she first met me, “We know nothing about Falun Gong. But I know it must be good from what we've learned about you. Aunt (my mother-in-law) called me often and told me that you were truly nice to them.” When I met my mother-in-law’s friend at the market, she said, “Your mother-in-law praises you all the time, saying that you are good in every way. I wish that my daughter-in-law is as good as you.”
I have been arrested a few times since the persecution began in 1999. My brother-in-law was a policeman and helped me out. I was put in a forced labor camp several times. My husband was once unable to withstand the pressure and wanted to get a divorce, but my mother-in-law would not allow it. She said, “Your wife has done nothing wrong whatsoever. You cannot divorce her.”
At this point in my writing, I cried again. Cultivating in Falun Gong has indeed changed my heart fundamentally. As a matter of fact, everything I did was minor. It is only that nowadays people’s moral standards are so low. I was just slightly better than they. If evaluated with Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, I am still far from being good.
Manager and Colleagues All Know That Falun Gong Is Good
It was not only my body that got better after I began to cultivate. My mind also became relaxed. I truly hoped more people could know of Falun Gong so that they could benefit. I remember that my manager had a bad temper. He liked to find fault with people, which was bad for his health. Actually his own life was miserable, and he was losing lots of virtue. I took a copy of Zhuan Falun to him. He said, “I have read this. It is very good. Why don’t you continue with your cultivation?” A few months later my husband and I visited him at the hospital when he was sick. Falun Dafa resolved our conflicts. He later hired me again to work for him and gave me much help when I was persecuted and when I lost my job after July 1999.
One day one of my colleagues said to me, “Can you urge everyone in our small district to practice Falun Gong? In our district, those who practice Falun Gong are all most cooperative.”
One day, my husband asked me to get some medicine for my mother-in-law using my insurance. I did and turned in the bill. That night when I read Zhuan Falun, it said one needs to: "say true words, do true things, be a truthful person, return to your original, true self, and ultimately cultivate into a True Person." I realized that I was wrong. The next morning I went to the cashier and withdrew the bill. The cashier asked me why. I told her that the medication was for my mother-in-law and I should not have been dishonest. She asked, “Is it because you practice Falun Gong?” I said, “Yes. We cannot be dishonest. I was wrong.” When Falun Gong was persecuted, I went to tell her the facts about Falun Gong. She said, “I knew Falun Gong was good. The fact that you were so honest was evidence enough for me.”
The Change in My Husband
I often read Dafa books for my husband. Sometimes I played DVD’s of Teacher’s lectures and watched them with him. He was very supportive of Dafa. He said, “It would be great if everyone in our company learned Dafa, then it would not be in such a mess.” I said, “Why don’t you join us?” He said, “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good, but it is too difficult. I have a bad temper. I cannot practice forbearance.” He was home late after work a few times and said when he got home. “I was practicing my compassion. I went to help fix a friend’s house.”
Once the dry cleaner mistakenly handed someone else’s suit to my husband. The suit was of much better quality than my husband’s. When he discovered it, he got on his bike and returned it immediately. The owner of the dry cleaning store was very appreciative and said to my husband. “You are truly a good person. Good people are scarce these days.”
I just mentioned a few small things about my husband. Actually, his changes were huge. He used to have a bad temper, swearing all the time. Lately he has gradually stopped his swearing and his temper has become good. He has quit gambling. In the past when I bought gifts for my parents, he would be upset. He only allowed me to buy things for his parents. We fought over this many times, but he would not budge. Then he apologized to me, “I have lots of problems. From today on, I will treat your parents like my parents. If you want to buy things for them, just go ahead.” He also said, “If there is a next life, I want to marry you again. I haven't had enough time with you.”
I cried again writing this. Under the influence of Dafa, he has become an entirely different person. He is so nice and considerate. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance has taken root in his heart.
I have cultivated for 13 years and have benefited more than I can say. In the ups and downs of the cultivation process, I did stumble and take detours, and I even once strayed into another religion. Falun Dafa is the righteous way. Only it can save people. With Teacher’s benevolent care, I returned to Dafa. I will redouble my efforts in the future, make up for my losses, and fulfill my mission of helping Teacher rectify the Fa and save sentient beings.
From the Call for Submissions to Commemorate the Twentieth Anniversary of Falun Dafa’s Introduction
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Category: Improving Oneself
