(Minghui.org) (Continued from Part 1: http://en.minghui.org/html/articles/2012/8/10/134878.html)
Reporter: In many of these 100 families, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law significantly improved. You mentioned this was due to an improvement on the part of at least one of the involved, and such improvement can be described as one of six categories. Can you talk more about this?
Ms. Tian: These six categories are: improved generosity and open-mindedness, rationality after learning the truth, being considerate of others, looking inward when conflicts arise, forgiveness and tolerance, and willingness to accept advice toward more kindness. These categories of psychological elevation were extracted from the 100 families. Among them, “being considerate of others” ranked topmost, followed by “rationality after learning the truth.” “Improved generosity and open-mindedness” and “Looking inward upon conflicts” both ranked third. “Forgiveness and tolerance” and “willingness to accept advice toward more kindness” ranked fourth and fifth. From these, we can see that being considerate of others has played a critical role in improving the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Reporter: You gave three examples a moment ago. Could you explain what categories they belong to?
Ms. Tian: In the Fenghua family, the change mainly came from “rationality after learning the truth,” the second category. When she argued with her mother-in-law in the past, her parents often told her to stop. She was upset and said, “I almost died in their family and you still did not pay attention to it. You are so selfish!” However, Master Li's book touched her and made her rethink these things. Then she realized that this is part of being a good person and stopped doing that. This psychological process shows us that Master Li's books changed the Fenghua family. After understanding the right way to do things, she was able to handle the relationship with rationality.
The harmony in Xiuzhen's family can be attributed to her “looking inward upon conflicts.” For example, the brother of Xiuzhen's husband came to visit them. Xiuzhen's mother-in-law gave him a snack. When she saw Xiuzhen walk by she yelled, “Look at her [Xiuzhen's] face! Because I did not give her any, she got mad and gave me a dirty look!” As a practitioner, Xiuzhen immediately checked herself for jealousy and dislike of her mother-in-law. Another time her mother-in-law suddenly said bad words to Xiuzhen. Her husband calmed her down and asked what this was all about. Her mother-in-law pointed her finger right in her face and said, “I know you want me to die soon.” When her husband tried to help, her mother-in-law got even worse. When Xiuzhen looked inward she found that, although she did not hope her mother-in-law would die soon, she did hope they could live apart. That is, although she showed respect to her mother-in-law on the surface, she did not treat her with the true sincerity required by traditional Chinese culture. Thus, in response to the endless criticism from her mother-in-law who had depression, Xiuzhen always looked within and let go of bad thoughts. As a result, their relationship improved.
The harmony in Zhenni's family came from her “being considerate of others.” In the past, Zhenni found it troublesome to take care of her parents-in-law. In fact, she wondered why she had to look after them since they were not her birth parents. However, Zhenni changed her mind after practicing Falun Gong. She became more calm, kind, and considerate. The GNH index in Zhenni's family is very high because she was considerate of her mother-in-law's feelings.
Reporter: You mentioned the GNH index several times. Could you explain this term?
Ms. Tian: GNH stands for Gross National Happiness. GNH index is a measurement of one's satisfaction about his or her own life. Bhutan's fourth Dragon King, Jigme Singye Wangchuck, first coined the phrase. He thought policies should be related to happiness and should be made to bring about happiness.
Reporter: Do you think improving in the the six categories we previously spoke of would help to improve family GNH index?
Ms. Tian: Absolutely. The survey data bears this out. In general, the GNH index can be divided into three categories. Category A is satisfaction with life, including living conditions and the quality of life. It is one's perception of external factors such as housing, medical support, education, employment, income, and social security. Category B is one's mental state, which includes level of stress and health. Category C is the harmony of society. This refers to interpersonal relationships as well as harmony between individual and the society.
We found that raising the levels of these six psychological elements significantly enhanced GNH index in these three categories. Here are some examples.
Family No. 6 was Li Li from Fushun City in Liaoning Province. Because of her “improved generosity and open-mindedness,” her relationship with her mother-in-law improved. According to her own statement, she used to suffer from chronic illnesses prior to practicing Falun Gong. This included a nervous breakdown, bronchitis, sinusitis, skin problems, a frozen shoulder, uterine leiomyoma, and myocardial ischemia. The pain and medications made her depressed and irritated. As a result, she often blamed her mother-in-law and seldom visited her. One day she accidentally obtained a Falun Gong book. She read it and thought it was excellent. Soon after she began to practice her discomfort disappeared. With the improvements in her mind and body, her family life improved. Li Li took on all the household chores, and the relationship between her and her mother-in-law improved.
The improvement of Li Li's physical condition changed her life, a category A GNH index increase. The mental distress was also replaced by happiness, a category B GNH increase. As a result, her impulse to criticize and avoid her mother-in-law changed. She took on all the household chores, and their relationship improved. This is a category C GNH increase.
Family No. 42 was Ms. Feng Shuimei from Jilin Province. This is a typical case of “rationality after learning the truth.” Ms. Feng lived with her mother-in-law, who had treated her badly since the marriage, and asked her husband for a divorce. When she reasoned with her mother-in-law, her mother-in-law was even more furious and began to beat her. As a result they swore at each other. After beginning to practice in the spring of 1999, Ms. Feng changed. She often visited her mother-in-law and later moved back to live with her. When her mother-in-law had cerebellar atrophy and often wet the bed, she helped her and cleaned it up. When her husband’s friend came to visit and found the apartment so clean and tidy, he was impressed and said, “Falun Gong is very good.” Seeing Ms. Feng clean up after her incontinent mother-in-law, the landlord was so moved that she asked her daughter-in-law to learn Falun Gong.
I think this is a typical case of “rationality after learning the truth,” because Ms. Feng's family did benefit tremendously from this. When Ms. Feng looked after her mother-in-law, the family members had a good life (category A) with happiness (category B). Ms. Feng's kindness earned praise from others, making the society more harmonious (category C).
Reporter: Are there examples where an increase in psychological levels occurs for both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?
Ms. Tian: Yes. One example is family No.7, Ms. Chang Xiuling from Qingyang City in Gansu Province. Ms. Chang and her mother-in-law used to argue over any nuisance. After the whole family began to practice Falun Gong in 1996, both of them improved their mental outlooks. The stressed relationship disappeared, and the family lived in harmony.
Reporter: What is the fundamental reason for the GNH index increase in these 100 families?
Ms. Tian: All the increases in these six psychological levels was due to the practice of Falun Gong. This is a general phenomenon, and it happens in every family we have examined.
(To be continued)
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Category: Perspectives
