(Minghui.org) I was amazed upon reading the article entitled, "Sharing My Understandings with Practitioners Who Just Got out of Prison but Became Trapped in Another Tribulation" on the Minghui website (http://en.minghui.org/html/articles/2012/9/6/135307.html ). I have enormous respect and admiration for the fellow practitioners who have stood up against and ended violence and torture using peaceful means while they were imprisoned for adhering to their faith in Falun Gong, and sharing the truth they know about Falun Gong with their Chinese compatriots. On the other hand, I was heartbroken and saddened to learn that some practitioners, after being released from prison, continued to face tribulations at home and eventually passed away.
I started practicing Falun Gong in September 1998. When I first started, I often wished that I had started earlier, so I resolved to persevere in studying Falun Gong books no matter how much interference or how many obstacles I encountered. As I continued studying the books, I came to understand more about their profound content. I also realized how fortunate I have been, to be born in a time when I have the opportunity to listen to Teacher's lectures. I have also learned the importance of sending forth righteous thoughts in order to cultivate well and save people from the lies of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), which bans Falun Gong and persecutes people who refuse to renounce Falun Gong. I have never been able to see other dimensions with my Celestial Eye, nor do I have extraordinarily brilliant cultivation insights. Yet I believe Teacher's words. I have felt unusually warm while sending forth righteous thoughts lately. I can feel myself destroying many evil beings in other dimensions when my thoughts are pure and clean.
At the same time, the truth is that I have taken a very difficult journey to earn my family's support.
There are few practitioners living near me, so my family has gained very limited understanding of Falun Gong and Falun Gong practitioners. They also have a shallow concept of cultivation. My parents were brought up in China as atheists. My father has a hot temper. Cursing and criticizing are the daily norm. My mother has always endured him. In fact, she does not really know any other way to deal with his temper but to endure it. My parents have very limited education. They have always been proud of me because I studied diligently and have an advanced degree. I am their hope to advance the family to a higher social class.
When the Chinese Communist regime announced the ban on Falun Gong in July 1999, my parents tried to talk me out of practicing, because they feared that China's policy would affect my education. My parents made me watch the regime's hate propaganda against Falun Gong on TV every day. They took away my collection of Falun Gong books. They talked to me every day, wanting me to give up Falun Gong. When I was arrested for the very first time for appealing for Falun Gong, my mother sobbed and wailed. She even knelt down and begged me to "repent" and renounce Falun Gong in writing, in exchange of my freedom and my job. I remembered Teacher's words. I did not compromise my belief. For that, I was sentenced to prison.
Teacher said,
"The steadfast, righteous thoughts of a cultivator transcend all human understandings, transcend all human thinking, and can never be understood by everyday people. At the same time, they cannot be changed by everyday people, because humans are not able to change Enlightened Beings." ("Coercion Cannot Change People’s Hearts" in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
My mother could not understand what it meant for me to cultivate. While I sat in prison, she hated Teacher and hated Falun Gong.
After I was released, my mother was very worried for my safety. She once followed me and hid my Falun Gong books. I had a serious talk with her and prevented her from doing such things again. Meanwhile, I tried to pay more attention to my family, especially my mother. I found opportune moments to explain what Falun Gong is while sending forth righteous thoughts regularly.
Teacher said,
"Today’s humans have in fact had tribulations arranged for them by this system of old forces at different levels, and humans have been controlled by the old forces at different levels. This is why they’ve become so forceful, why they dare to do things to cultivators, and why they dare to be disrespectful to Dafa." ("Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. International Fa Conference" in Guiding the Voyage)
I send forth righteous thoughts for my family. In addition to sending forth righteous thoughts four times a day, I also send forth righteous thoughts whenever I have time, to eliminate the evil elements residing in alternate dimensions in Beijing, and others that were preventing my family from being receptive to the truth about Falun Gong. After I was transferred to another city for work, I continued sending forth righteous thoughts for my family. I have faith that a Falun Gong practitioner's righteous thoughts will transcend time and space. I have faith that I will be able to eliminate all the evil elements in other dimensions that prevent them from accepting the truth about Falun Gong. My family's attitude towards Falun Gong has improved after about four years.
When my mother visited me, I played a Shen Yun Performing Arts DVD. One day after we watched it, my mother asked if divine beings really do exist. I patiently explained to her. Eventually she began reading Zhuan Falun.
I made a trip to my hometown not long ago to persuade my older sister and her family to quit the CCP and its two affiliated student leagues they once joined. I played a Shen Yun Performing Arts DVD for them as well. My sister watched one of the dances that depicts the Chinese Communist Party's persecution of Falun Gong. She was sad and said she could relate to it.
My husband and I met in college. He is a very good man. He has a good heart and takes care of his parents. He has an advanced degree, yet his belief in science has kept him from believing in Falun Gong. My husband once asked me to give up Falun Gong and even tried to stop me because the authorities threatened to have him fired if he didn't "cooperate." If it had not been for the super-normal capabilities that Teacher has bestowed upon me, I would not have been able to prevail over the challenges he presented.
Teacher said,
"I can tell you that the suffering and tribulations endured by our Dafa disciples are not only aimed at their personal cultivation—there are also factors related to high-level beings’ testing Dafa using the fact that the students have karma, using 'improving them' as an excuse, and using degenerate beings at low levels to carry out the persecution. In fact, all of these have harmed the Fa-rectification. You’ve not only been enduring tribulations created by human beings. Since parts of you have been fully cultivated, you are great Gods, and Gods at very, very high levels have been testing you. This is why what’s happening today is unprecedented—a tribulation like this has never taken place in history." ("Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. Fa Conference" in Guiding the Voyage)
My husband had a very difficult time at work because I practice Falun Gong. One day his boss insulted him in front of everyone at a large meeting, saying, "You don't need to come to work. Go home and watch your wife." It really wounded his pride and ego. He came home from work every day, put his feet on the coffee table, and begin bickering with me. He beat me up when he saw me doing the Falun Gong exercises. He cursed me when he saw me sending forth righteous thoughts.
I didn't know any fellow practitioners in the area at the time, and my parents live in a different city. I faced all kinds of pressure alone. When I looked up at the gloomy sky, I felt that even the sky was saturated with evil elements. How I wished the Fa-rectification would be completed in the human realm. The environment in China was exactly how Teacher described,
"During the period of time after July 20, 1999, probably every student felt that the evil seemed to penetrate everything, being everywhere. The whole thing really seemed like what those prophets had said—the evil came as if eclipsing the sky and covering the earth, and it was really as if the heavens had collapsed. The evil was everywhere. No matter how good a person was or another being was, he was probably influenced by that evil." ("Fa-Lecture at the Conference in Florida, U.S.A.")
Nevertheless, I have never thought of giving up my belief. I asked a fellow practitioner in another city to send me a copy of Zhuan Falun. I studied it every chance I had. I studied it during my commute and at a bookstore after work. When my husband was calm, I took the opportunity to clarify the truth to him. My husband eventually asked for a divorce when he could no longer face the discrimination placed upon him as the husband of a Falun Gong practitioner. I refused, because I believe that once we took a vow, we should remain married until death parts us. I was arrested again. I think it was because I had an attachment to family love and human notions at the time. My husband divorced me while I was in prison.
While I was incarcerated, I found my attachment to the love between husband and wife. I decided to eliminate my attachment, and I continued to send forth righteous thoughts. With the help of my parents, I was finally released. I could not bear to see my former husband and his family hate Falun Gong. I didn't want my daughter to grow up without faith in Falun Gong. We then re-married. My husband wanted me back because our daughter was very little.
After all the tribulations I faced at home for many years, sometimes I wondered if I would have been better off if I had married a fellow practitioner. At first, my husband would not let me practice Falun Gong when it was time to sleep. If he found out that I had handed out materials containing facts about Falun Gong, he would beat me. Regardless of how he treated me, I persevered in studying Falun Gong books and sending forth righteous thoughts. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil elements that manipulated my husband whenever I had an opportunity.
I took care of all the housework, and I never complained. I treated his family as my own, and took good care of them. I touched them with my kindness and devotion.
My husband had a strong attachment to lust. When I sent forth righteous thoughts, I had to eliminate all the evil elements behind me, as well as the lust demon. I spent about four years sending forth righteous thoughts for him. One day I had a dream where Teacher hinted to me that most of my husband's lust had been eliminated. My husband has since become much more rational. He no longer interferes with my cultivation. Sometimes he even does the Falun Gong exercises with me.
When I was arrested for the third time for clarifying the truth about Falun Gong, my husband didn't ask to divorce me again. Instead, he tried very hard to get me released. My husband does not have good social skills, but he went to everyone that could possibly help me. I was released after over a year in prison. This time his family did not criticize me. I was very touched. My husband lost his promotion because I was sentenced to prison, but he has never complained about it. He didn't care about it. My husband once told a former classmate that his tears had run dry for me.
With the totalitarian regime of China, Falun Gong practitioners' families are also victims of the communist regime's persecution. We should save our own families and help them see through the CCP, tell right from wrong, and make a good choice for their own future.
If we are unable to send forth righteous thoughts to disintegrate evil elements in other dimensions or study Falun Gong books diligently, we might steer ourselves in the wrong direction on our cultivation path or face arrest and prison, or tribulations at home. When that happens, we won't be able to do the three things well and our families are likely to commit sins against Falun Gong.
In the Minghui website article "One Can Only Cultivate by Being Rational and Clearheaded," the editors said, "Master has repeatedly told us that in Dafa cultivation, one's main consciousness must be strong and one must cultivate with correct thoughts. Otherwise one cannot cultivate. The Dafa disciples who are doing true cultivation know that doing otherwise would equate to not walking the correct path that Master arranged, and that, otherwise, they could only walk the path arranged by the old forces. Were that to happen, not only could they not be saved, but they would also have no way to fulfill the sacred vows that they made to Master so long ago."
I would like to remind those fellow practitioners who are currently facing tribulations to reinforce their righteous thoughts and conduct themselves like genuine Falun Gong disciples. They should look for their fundamental attachments when they face obstacles and let go of their human thoughts. Falun Gong practitioners are supposed to cultivate their xinxing and handle family problems according to the Falun Gong teachings. We should also send forth righteous thoughts regularly so that we will be able to prevail over family problems and walk our paths well.
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