(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Gong in 1997. Over the past 15 years, Master has been protecting me all the time and guiding me through all kinds of difficulties. I have experienced the might and profound nature of Dafa: there is nothing that Dafa cannot do. It is Master who has given me a new life, and it is Dafa that has directed me on the path to return to my original true self.
Throughout my cultivation in Dafa, I have experienced the happiness of obtaining the Fa as well as becoming illness free. I have also been persecuted because I went to Tiananmen Square to speak out for the Fa. While being held in a detention center, I went on a hunger strike to protest the persecution. I have developed a solid faith in Master while battling attachments and illness karma. I set up a Falun Dafa informational production site at home to make truth-clarifying materials and experienced hardships and overcame difficulties. No matter what I've done or experienced, I would not have been able to achieve anything if Master had not protected me.
I recently established a Fa-study group in my home. All the practitioners in our group are new to the practice. Their ages range from 55 to 63. Two had practiced Dafa before the persecution started in July 20, 1999, but stopped out of fear; two others had read Zhuan Falun before; one of them read Zhuan Falun and did the exercises in 2008, but was interfered with and eventually stopped practicing completely a few months afterwards. She has now returned to Dafa.
At first I believed that, if they could finish reading Zhuan Falun once, my mission would have been accomplished. Whether or not they could cultivate would depend on their predestined relationship with Dafa as well as their own choices. We began with reading one lecture of Zhuan Falun a day and quickly finished reading the entire book the first time. Everybody was impressed by Dafa, and the effect was very good. Because of this they all wanted to learn the exercises. I then showed them Master’s exercise teaching videos. Some of them learned very attentively and quickly, too. Those who had practiced Falun Gong before quickly picked up the movements once they heard the exercise music. Naturally, our Fa-study group continued.
Since our Fa-study group is a cultivation environment, conflicts are unavoidable. One practitioner read very slowly because of her lack of education. Others got more and more impatient with her. The more frustrated they became, the longer paragraphs she would get to read. Then it would sometimes take us more than two hours to finish reading one lecture. Some practitioners complained that it was a waste of time for the rest of us. Being the veteran practitioner, I understood that I had attachments to let go of, but I was not sure if they could realize that this was a barrier for all of us to break through.
After talking with the practitioner who read slowly, I found that she could keep every single word she read in her mind even though she read very slowly. Because she retained every word she read and had practiced Dafa before, she was able to elevate quickly. She told me, “I don’t mind what others think about me. As a matter of fact, I really appreciate how you understand and help me. Reading faster and accurately is my number one goal right now. I know I can do it!” I was deeply touched by her heartfelt words. When a being truly understands the Fa, he will no longer handle conflicts with a human mindset. Meanwhile, the other practitioners also realized that the more impatient they were, the slower she read. Therefore, we needed to change ourselves, let go of our human notion, and study the Fa more attentively and with tranquility. After we treated conflicts as practitioners, the conflicts ceased to exist, and naturally we all read faster. That practitioner could also read faster and more fluently. This experience also helped me to realize that the worry that I had before resulted from a human notion and I was not righteous at all.
During the Chinese New Year everybody was busy with household chores. We decided to postpone our group-study for a few days during this busiest season of the year. Resuming our group Fa-study after the New Year, we each shared how we spent our holiday. One said that, before going to her father-in-law’s residence on Chinese New Year day, she got up very early to study the Fa and do the exercises; another said that she studied the Fa and did the exercises early in the morning or late at night without missing a single day; the third said that, without the entire group, she felt lost, and everything seemed meaningless. I was deeply touched by these practitioners who had obtained the Fa barely two months before.
Master said:
“You know, a lot of students want to see me, and a lot of ordinary people want to see me. When some people see me they get excited without knowing why, and when some people see me they feel especially warm and close. Some people get so excited they want to cry. That's because their knowing sides all know that whoever sees me, I will help him, (applause) and I can reduce the sins and karma he made throughout history. (Applause) So no matter what your job is or what you do, as long as you see me, I'll have you develop good (shan) thoughts, and as long as you see me I'll reduce your sins and your karma amidst your good thoughts. (Applause) In fact, everyone in the world has a knowing side, they're aware. Or to put it another way, it doesn't matter what you've done or what you do, I treat all of you this way. ” (“Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Vancouver, Canada, in 2003”)
I understood deeply that kindhearted people can be awakened by Master’s mighty mercy if they accept the great Dafa wholeheartedly.
One practitioner came to practice Falun Gong because she had heart disease. To help her improve her enlightenment of the Fa, Master showed her some miracles a few times when she first started practicing. First, Master helped her to stop smoking even though she had been addicted to it for over 30 years. Master also helped her to get rid of her addiction to Mahjong (a Chinese gambling game), whereas in the past, she simply had to play it every day. She did not know that it was Master who was helping her until after Master gave her numerous hints. She finally enlightened and thus was finally able to completely let go of her addiction to Mahjong. She also had some minor illnesses before, such as back pain. Whenever she had back pain in the past, she had to take painkillers for almost two weeks to recover, but this time, it took only a few days. In the past, her eyes hurt, and whenever they hurt, she could not open them. The pain in her eyes would cause headaches. In addition she suffered from rhinitis and leg pain. After Master cleansed her body several times, she was completely free of illness. She finally enlightened that Master was protecting her by eliminating her karma.
However, she could not let go of her fear of heart disease. In the beginning, she was able to use righteous thoughts regarding this and often came to my house to study the Fa when her heart bothered her. Because she could not truly understand the cause of it, and always understood the problem from a human perspective, her heart problem resurfaced. Veteran practitioners understood that she had to break through that barrier: as long as she let go of the notion of “heart disease” and completely trusted in Master, it would soon be over. However, it was too difficult for her. As a matter of fact, when the “heart problem” recurred, she clearly knew that it was different from before, because she could continue handling her daily routine, such as studying the Fa, doing the exercises, running errands, and doing household chores. She just felt unwell physically. We shared our thoughts with her from the perspective of the Fa, yet her mentality did not change. Her condition became unstable and later even worsened as the problem lingered. When her human mindset overpowered her, she went to the hospital, and the tests showed that something was wrong. She was even more scared, and hence her condition went downhill.
One day she came to my house looking very pale. She said that the “heart attack” had struck again. At that time, another veteran practitioner was present. We corrected her thoughts and asked, “Are you a Dafa disciple? Do you have illnesses?” It seemed that she suddenly understood us and answered, “I am a Dafa disciple, and I don’t have any illnesses!” Afterward, we began to send forth righteous thoughts together. Very soon, she looked much better. We then studied the Fa together. Soon after, she was completely fine and no longer felt miserable. From then on, she would come to my house to study the Fa with me whenever she felt unwell. Every time she studied the Fa, the feelings of discomfort would go away. One day the symptoms re-appeared, this time very seriously, and her husband wanted her to go to the hospital. She thought that, since her neighbors all knew that she practiced Falun Gong, and if she went to the hospital, she would defame Dafa, so she decided not to go. When it was Fa-study time, she came to join us. Soon after she began reading the Fa, the symptoms disappeared. After we finished studying the Fa, she told us what had happened. We all encouraged her and told her that she had done a great job passing the test, because her thoughts were very righteous. She remembered to safeguard the Fa instead of worrying about herself. She was happy for herself, too.
Cultivating in Dafa requires practitioners to strictly follow high level xinxing standards. That practitioner felt good when her mind was clear one day, but felt bad when she became confused the next day. At that time I was often away from home. One day, she felt very poorly for the entire afternoon. She did not come to group Fa-study that evening because she found it difficult to get up. It had never lasted very long when she felt bad in the past, but this time the “heart problem” lasted for more than half a day. Her condition also worsened because she was scared. Her son took her to the hospital, and the doctors also believed that she was seriously ill. They hospitalized her immediately. Yet two days later, the results showed that nothing was wrong with her. Then the doctors guessed that she probably was under too much pressure. She finally understood that her human thinking had caused the tribulation to occur. She had failed to pass the test this time.
Through constant Fa-study, we were all changing: one practitioner gave up her bad habit of using swear words; another practitioner voluntarily cleaned up the trash in her apartment building; a third broke through a big tribulation and interference and quickly resumed Fa-study and practicing the exercises; still another was able to help a fellow practitioner overcome a tribulation by encouraging her to develop her determination in Dafa cultivation.
While the practitioners were cultivating themselves and elevating in Dafa, I forgot to cultivate myself. We used to share our experiences after studying the Fa before, but now, once we closed our books, we began to talk about grocery shopping, clothes shopping, good food to eat, etc., for about 30 minutes. Although I disliked such conversations, in the beginning I was able to remain calm. But later I had to babysit my grandson for half a day, and my time suddenly became very tight since we made truth-clarifying materials at home, and there were always many things to do. I had less time to study the Fa. Sometimes when I studied the Fa, I could not focus on what I was reading because I often thought about the tasks that I still had to accomplish. I often dozed off while studying the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts. As a result, I could not finish doing all the exercises, a nd my condition deteriorated. Listening to their conversations, I became frustrated. I thought, “I do not have time for you because you do not appreciate time, and my time is very precious.” I believed that I should not let other practitioners interfere with me. I gave the evil forces the opportunity to allow resentment to grow inside me, and I no longer cared about how other people felt when I talked to them. I was not like a cultivator at all.
Finally, several practitioners complained to me. Listening to them firing their complaints at me, I was able to remain calm and sincerely acknowledged that, due to my failure to study the Fa well, I was physically exhausted, and, because of that, I had harmed fellow practitioners. I asked them to forgive me.
After they left that day, I pondered over what they had told me and asked myself, “Have I been genuinely cultivating myself? Have I listened to Master?” For quite a while, I had been happy to see them advancing in their cultivation, but all the while I believed that I had been sacrificing my own time to help the new practitioners study the Fa and do the exercises while not remembering that it was Master who had made all the arrangements. I felt good about myself and did not realize my attachment, let alone eliminate it. How could I validate the Fa with such a filthy heart?
I should have searched inside myself as soon as problems occurred and cultivated myself. Because I had human desires to live a good life, fellow practitioners were exposing my attachments to me. Master had arranged for me to see this so that I could cultivate my xinxing. Instead, I thought that it was they who had strong human hearts. Master told us several times that nothing is coincidental in our cultivation. My fellow practitioners demonstrated my attachments numerous times because Master used the opportunities to remind me of my problems. However, I pushed those opportunities away each time.
Master said:
“When you meet with a conflict, it doesn’t matter whether you are in the right. You should be asking yourself, ‘What on my part isn’t right in this situation? Might it really be that there is something wrong on my part?’ You should all be thinking this way, with your first thought being to scrutinize yourself to try to find the problem. Whoever is not like this is not in fact a true cultivator of Dafa. It is a magical tool in our cultivation. This is a distinguishing feature of our Dafa disciples’ cultivation. Whatever it is that you encounter, the first thought should be to scrutinize yourself, and it’s called ‘looking within.’” (“What is a Dafa Disciple”)
Because my mind was not clear, I had failed to follow the requirements for cultivators when problems occurred, and I waited until the conflicts intensified and were no longer avoidable before I looked within. Master’s warning made me ponder and I found my faults to correct myself. I knew I should trace the superficial signs all the way to the root of the issues, and then eliminate them and purify myself in order to reach the standards for a genuine Dafa disciple.
For 15 years, I have encountered different tests and difficulties. With Master’s protection and fellow practitioners’ help, I have successfully come this far. The area where I still have omissions is clarifying the truth to people face to face. I also have not done a good job letting go of my attachment to a good and comfortable life. Nonetheless, I will do my best to get rid of the attachments and catch up in cultivation.
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Category: Improving Oneself
