(Minghui.org) In early 2012, I was overwhelmed by a deeply painful situation in my life. I felt that I could not overcome it. Previously, I had been idolized and envied by people; many were jealous of me. Now things were different. I felt angry and depressed almost every day. There were many occasions when I felt suicidal.
At this difficult time, I was very lucky to learn about Falun Dafa. As I took up the practice, it allowed me to change for the better. I have been given a new life.
Emotional Turmoil
I was born in a small village in the south of China at the end of the Cultural Revolution. By studying hard, I was able to pass the college entrance test with a top score in liberal arts. I attended a very good university and later earned a master's degree in law. I became a lawyer in the capital city of one of China's southern provinces. I loved my job very much and took very good care of my clients. In my spare time, I spent a lot of effort to receive additional training. Soon I earned the trust and praise of my clients, and my business became very successful. In a very short period, I became quite famous in that local area.
My husband was a typical “good man,” and we loved each other very much. He was a prosecutor and approached his work very seriously. He treated me very well and took good care of our family. My husband is a very handsome man, and our child is also very handsome and smart. When the weekends arrived, we would often go to the movies or hiking, eat in restaurants, shop or visit our parents. During vacation, we traveled everywhere. We led a good and colorful life. Our neighbors and friends all envied me for having a good husband, a good family and a good career. I was very busy every day, but I enjoyed life a lot. However, several situations occurred in 2012 that led me to fall from “heaven to hell.” I felt that I would rather die.
One day in March 2012, I made a quick shopping trip to one of the local malls. Suddenly, I saw my husband. He was accompanying a young girl to select an Apple cell phone. I was shocked. Although I saw them, I did not want to be seen by them, so I quickly moved to a location not too far away where I could watch them. I saw my husband pay the bill with lots of cash and then give a white-colored cell phone to that girl. She held on to his arm and walked out of the mall talking and smiling. It was quite clear that my husband was having an affair. Suddenly, I felt dizzy. I could not stand and immediately sat on a nearby chair. My brain was thumping. I stayed at the mall for over an hour trying to figure out what was happening. I could not come up with any answers. I called my husband and told him that I was sick and he needed to come home right away.
When my husband came home, he found that I was not sick but full of anger instead. He asked me what was wrong. I confronted him and said: “ I know the truth, and you are an actor! You told me every day that you loved me, but you are having an affair!” Then I could not control myself any longer and burst into tears. Later, I could not sleep or eat well. I could not keep my mind on anything else.
My husband apologized a thousand times. He said he was wrong and had ended the affair. He promised that he would love me faithfully from now on, but I could not forgive his betrayal. I asked him for a divorce, but he strongly objected. He said he truly loved me, but because I was very busy and so involved with my work, it made him feel neglected. He did not care how I punished him and said he would accept anything except divorce. However, I still could not forgive him. Whenever I saw him, I was full of anger and hatred. I was verbally abusive to him and even hit him several times. My husband took all of this quietly; yet, I still could not release my anger.
On one occasion, my husband was driving and I sat next to him. I mentioned his affair and started to swear at him again. He became furious and drove our car into the oncoming traffic, nearly hitting another car. I struggled in my mind: I wanted to divorce him so that he would know what betrayal felt like, but I did not really want to leave him. Unable to forgive him, I struggled with anger and conflict every day.
In just one month, I started to lose my hair and it also began to turn white. I lost weight and looked about 20 years older. Then, after my period had already passed about ten days earlier, I found dark red discharge. I thought that I must be sick and went to a hospital for checkup. The doctor said I had a growth in my uterus and recommended surgery.
During this time, one of my best friends, whom I had known for over ten years, borrowed several hundred thousand yuan from me and then abruptly disappeared. I felt that I could not trust anyone and thought about committing suicide several times. However, when I thought about my young child and my elderly parents, I dared not do that.
Finding Falun Dafa
In May 2012, my husband arranged for me to take a tour of Japan to make me feel better. During that trip, I learned about Falun Dafa. Through practicing Falun Dafa, I was able to let go of my emotional pain. In the process, my marriage was saved, and my health regained. I truly changed, and it seems like I have a new life.
After arriving in Tokyo, our tour group had three hours of free time for shopping in a mall. Outside the mall, I met many Falun Dafa practitioners. They gave me copies of the Epoch Times. Zhuan Falun and other materials, explained how Chinese Communist Party (CCP) is persecuting practitioners in China, and patiently convinced me to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. They also told me how they benefited from practicing Falun Dafa. I gave up shopping and listened to them very carefully.
After returning to the hotel, I read Zhuan Falun without taking any breaks. With each word I read, I felt that Master seemed to know how I was stuck in my painful situation and had come to save me.
The principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance are so wonderful!
I understood that since everything has a karmic reason, my husband's affair must have had some reason behind it. Maybe I had owed him something in a previous life and was repaying my karmic debt. Why should I swear at him, hit him and hurt him? Doing so would cause me to lose virtue and would also hurt my health. Why shouldn’t I forgive him? How could I be a good person according to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance taught by Master otherwise?
I felt that my blocked mind was finally opened. My hatred toward my husband miraculously disappeared. My tears began to flow down. Falun Dafa is indeed a righteous and good Fa, I thought. I felt extremely lucky to be able to obtain Dafa in this period of moral decline. Dafa has saved me and my family.
Harmonizing My Family Through Dafa Cultivation
After I returned home to China, my husband saw that I had changed into a different person. I had a peaceful look on my face instead of hatred. He was very surprised. I told him about my experience and he was very happy. He supported me in my practice of Falun Dafa.
I've kept on cultivating everyday by studying the Fa and practicing the exercises. I've forgiven my husband completely and no longer feel hatred for his past wrong deeds. I live happily just like before.
I've also miraculously regained my health. Upon re-examination, my doctor found that my uterus was no longer bleeding and I did not need to have surgery. In addition, the infection in my neck and shoulder that had tortured me for a number of years also disappeared. I am no longer afraid of the cold, since my body always feels warm. My skin has become softer and lighter than before. My figure has improved, and I now look younger and full of energy.
I am grateful to Falun Dafa and Master, who has saved my soul, my marriage, and my body. I will keep cultivating my xinxing in line with the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I will keep studying the Fa and practicing the exercises. I will keep sending forth righteous thoughts. I will help more suffering people to be saved.
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