(Minghui.org) I used to only work for the Epoch Times in my spare time when I had a full-time job. However, I resigned from my job two years ago and started working full-time for the Epoch Times.
While working as a reporter, I felt a bit unbalanced in my heart towards certain fellow practitioners, and always managed to look at what others did not do well and never truly faced my own problems. I thought that I was cooperating well because I did what I was told. So each time a conflict arose or my heart was moved, I would just accept it, but still felt resentment inside. The latest incident gave me a warning and helped me understand that only by improving one's xinxing and stop focusing on who is right or who is wrong can we cooperate better.
My editor recently asked me to do a job, which I believed was quite difficult for me. In the past, we would approach this situation with various measures, but this time, the editor insisted that I should just go and do it. I got really angry and refused. I’m sure each of us could find an excuse to fit our own circumstances, and we might even try to find Fa principles to justify our own views. My heart was deeply moved at the time, and I felt I could not take it. I failed to keep up my xinxing and lost my temper.
I thought of how others were not treating me well, how unfair they were towards me and how I should argue with them. I realized that this was because each time I felt unbalanced in my heart and had a fighting mentality, I did not let go of such attachments. The problems then slowly started to accumulate and form strong thought karma.
So I started to send forth righteous thoughts towards these bad thoughts that were pointing the finger at others, and denied that they were mine. Each time, shortly after I sent forth righteous thoughts, the thought to argue with others appeared in my mind again. So I sent forth righteous thoughts again to eliminate it. As soon as this thought appeared in my mind, I would immediately eliminate it and keep my mind in a calm state. I had not cleansed myself this way for a long time. Each time I sent forth righteous thoughts, I felt that I could strengthen my righteous belief, and it also helped me to strengthen my main consciousness so that I could see even more clearly which thoughts were not my own.
When I first started to write this sharing article, I still had feelings of resentment towards fellow practitioners. I kept sending forth righteous thoughts, but still felt a bit unbalanced deep down inside. So as I was writing, I started to describe the situation, how I was thinking and what was causing the problems. Then suddenly, I stopped and realized that I was still moved by those bad thoughts and was still unable to extricate myself from trying to figure out who is right and who is wrong. I thought: “As a cultivator, if I'm wrong, then I'm wrong. When I find a problem, I should just correct myself. Why do I still try to justify myself ? If someone can help me improve and point out my problems, isn't that a good thing?”
Master said:
“Don’t argue left and right, and don’t emphasize who’s right and who’s wrong. Some people are always stressing that they’re right, but even if you are right, even if you’re not wrong, so what? Have you improved on the basis of the Fa? The very act of using human thinking to stress who’s right and who’s wrong is in itself wrong. That’s because you are then using the logic of ordinary people to evaluate yourself, and using that logic to make demands on others. As gods see it, for a cultivator to be right or wrong in the human world is not important in the least, whereas eliminating the attachments that come from human thinking is important, and it is precisely your managing to eliminate those attachments rooted in your human thinking as you cultivate that counts as important.” (“Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan”)
I realized that I had not let go of resentment in my heart, and still thought that others were in the wrong when conflicts arose. I believed that I was cooperating by not arguing. But I was never able to relinquish my attachment and held on to my opinion about others. I always believed that I was in the right and failed to see that my heart was moved. As a result, I felt quite content as long as I could find fault in others. In retrospect, I was only fooling myself.
Now I realize that very often when I believed others were in the wrong, I was in fact judging others by my own understandings. We must not use what we have enlightened to in the Fa to measure others, but to use it to measure ourselves. Why do we get angry or complain when we see others' shortcomings? Why do we feel wronged when we think we are being treated unfairly? In fact, we should look inward instead of thinking about how wrong someone else was.
Master said:
“...even trivial things might set off big arguments. Afterwards your spouse will be confused over his or her loss of temper. As you are a practitioner, you should be clear as to why that kind of incident takes place: It’s because that thing came—you are being asked to pay for your karma. To resolve such incidents, you have to keep yourself under control during those moments and mind your character. Be appreciative and thankful that your spouse has helped you pay for your karma.” (Falun Gong, 5th Translation Edition)
The editor made a rule at a later meeting, which was to keep a record of the news she had arranged. But I refused to do it. I then realized that the reason behind this was because I did not pass the test the last time, so this time it was an even bigger test. As I was very clear about why this happened, I remained very calm and did not say anything.
This time I was able to eliminate the bad thoughts I had about how others, and I also realized that if I do not let go of my attachment to jealousy, it would be very hard for me to embrace and be tolerant of others. I also found that I have a strong attachment to self-protection, which also created the division between myself and fellow practitioners.
From this lesson I realized that having strong righteous thoughts and looking within should not be just words. True cultivation does not rest on how many Dafa projects one is involved with, much less on the titles and the roles that one has in those projects. Solid cultivation means that throughout our life's journey of cultivation, whenever we come across conflicts, either amongst everyday people or practitioners, whenever we encounter things that touch our hearts, no matter who is right or who is wrong, we can look inward and try our best to find out where we have fallen short and which attachments and notions we still harbor. Then we should try our best to restrain them and eliminate them.
Master said:
“I hope that you all cherish yourselves, cherish others, and cherish this environment that you have. Cherishing the path that you travel is cherishing yourselves.” (“What is a Dafa Disciple”)
I did not really understand what cherishing others and our environment meant. But I've come to the understanding lately that how we handle ourselves, and how we treat others and our environment, is a reflection of our realm. As we improve our xinxing, we will be able to further enhance our capacity to embrace the things around us.
To cooperate does not mean to only obey arrangements by the leaders, and only by letting go of the mentality to arguing who is right and who is wrong can we achieve better results in what we do.
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Category: Improving Oneself
