(Minghui.org) Today, my mother appeared a bit emotional as she told me about her experience being sworn at by a group of Chinese tourist as she was out clarifying the truth. I pointed out to her that her heart had been stirred by this event. She said her heart was not moved, but that she felt sorry for the Chinese tourists.
I continued to make more comments that were boastful. My mother had nothing to say, and left the room to do the Dafa exercises. Within moments of her leaving the room, I realized I had been selfish. My mother is a fellow practitioner, and when a practitioner experiences difficulties, I should not look down upon them. Since I began cultivation, my mother, who is not very literate, has been deferential to me. However, I often prevented her from doing things that she is capable of and willing to do.
Recently, it was the Divine Land Marching Band. My own feeling was that she would negatively impact the image of the band, so I tried to stop her from joining. However, when I had run into a life-and-death test, she tirelessly sent forth righteous thoughts for me day and night. She appealed to my selfish and hypocritical side. My various encounters recently have prompted me to consider why I practice cultivation.
I have not had any major karma elimination since I began my cultivation, over 10 years ago. However, in April 2013, I unexpectedly became pregnant. My husband and I rarely have sexual contact. Expecting a baby scared me, and I felt my body was surrounded by a large black haze. I wanted to feel compassionate toward my baby, but I started to have extreme pain with this pregnancy.
I did not listen to my mother's objections, and went to the emergency room of the hospital when the pain became too intense. This was my first baby and I had turned to ordinary people's medical treatment, although deep in my heart I understood that the baby was coming to me for a debt I owed.
While laying on the bed in the emergency room, I looked up at the ceiling and heard a voice in my head ask: “What are you doing here? Why do you humiliate me?” I understood this was my knowing side talking to me. My brain was completely blank, except for crying out “Falun Dafa is good” and “Master, please rescue me.” My naked eyes could see a bluish shadow floating in the air, and my tears flowed. After leaving the emergency room, I understood this was a test arranged by the old forces to see whether I truly believed in Master. I told my husband that if karma elimination is on my body, I can bear it. However, when it came to the baby, I told Master that I would trade my life for the baby's life, even if the baby was due to some demonic arrangement.
At my most painful moment, my husband was not with me. Only my mother sent forth righteous thoughts for me day and night. She not only encouraged me, she also read the Fa to me. At that time, I thought about what a fellow practitioner is all about. It is one who reinforces you with righteous thoughts. It is one who connects to you like one single body and soul.
I knew my mother had stayed up for several nights, so in order for her to get some sleep, I crawled on the floor, chanting to Master, to get what I needed, rather than wake her. However, I still had an urge to pick up my phone and call 911. I also knew this was a battle. I said to myself, this is a test and I cannot let my cultivation fail now during this hurdle. However, during tremendous pain, it is indeed very difficult to keep a righteous thought. I was thinking about death, because I wanted out of this pain.
I knew only my fellow practitioners could help me, so I called a practitioner and told her I couldn't bear the pain anymore and wanted to go to the hospital. She encouraged me to not go and reminded me to believe in Master. She asked other fellow practitioners to begin sending forth righteous thoughts for me, which gave me comfort. It was like a warm light in a dark endless sea.
After passing this test, a practitioner, whose celestial eyes are open, saw on her level that Master had removed the karma for me, without me suffering further. During my test, because of the interference of the karma, my own supernormal capabilities were unable to function in suppressing the demons. I relied completely on the supernormal capabilities of my fellow practitioners to eliminate the evil. Once I laid down my attachment to life and death and passed the test, everything vanished quickly. When I expressed my gratitude to my fellow practitioner, she explained that my test is also her test, and a test to all fellow practitioners. She further said that although I passed this test, I needed to look inside for any remaining attachments and turn this tribulation into a good thing. She reminded everyone to look within for hidden attachments, as we can all learn from this.
This test has also prompted me to think about why I practice cultivation. Cultivation is solemn, so it is not a matter of going through the motions. I have been continuously doing things my own way and have not always acted in accordance with the principle of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Not only in my previous life, but also in my current life, I have created a lot of karma, even knowingly in my cultivation.
After listening to Master's lecture at the New York experience sharing conference, deep in the night, I felt myself go to another dimension. I saw white clouds in the sky all busy doing things. The skyscrapers of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) were all covered by the white clouds. It is like a sky net covering everything and leaving nothing out. The white clouds were building a bridge in the sky. The bridge still had a long way to go before it connected to the earth. I was pleasantly surprised by this magnificent scene. I decided to linger on the clouds and asked the clouds to carry me off to play in the sky.
The clouds said that they were too busy, they did not have time to play with me. I said, “I am a Dafa practitioner, why not play with me here for a while?” I sulked a bit and then let go, thinking surely this cloud would not let me fall to my death. So, one of the clouds felt there was no choice but to put down the work at hand and hold me. I clung to the cloud and lovingly caressed it without letting go. He was so lovely, with large eyes and a beard too. He turned out to be a senior in the clouds. I reached my hands out to touch his beard, but he flew away and asked me how I could always insist on doing things my own way.
I knew Master was enlightening me with this incident. One of my major attachments is the attachment to things that make me happy. I don't want to be bound by any tenets. A good example of this is when I have guests for dinner, I like to buy live crabs. I don't kill them myself, but their death is partially because of me. I know that the crabs in the water tank will all die eventually, so why not for my benefit? If it were not because of Master's rescue and my fellow practitioners' compassionate efforts, I could have died multiple times.
I refused to participate in the exam for Shen Yun ticket sales. After I sold tickets, I patted myself on the back, thinking that without any exam, I could do just as well in ticket sales. Then, in a dream, I was crying because someone said that I was not eligible for selling the tickets, because I did not pass the exam. I said what is the big deal? I would just quit selling tickets. I often ignore those practitioners, and I look down on them. I want my fellow practitioners to do things my way only. Well, I have way too many attachments to even list here.
I know as cultivators in the ordinary society, we have many attachments that we need to get rid of. We must pay back what we owe. This is a serious matter, and after I clearly understood, I began to truly search inward on everything I did, especially about the Divine Land Marching Band. Every time when I had an omission, Master would give me a hint in my dream, e.g., I forgot to bring the drumstick with me or I fell behind the marching line. During the marching, our endless energy has shocked ordinary people who can no longer look down on us. They begin to think about us and are willing to listen to our truth clarification. This is a direct way of validating Dafa, which complements other truth-clarification means. As a member of the marching band, I have come to better understand its solemnity.
We must be scrupulous in every aspect of our cultivation. As long as we strictly conduct ourselves with the standards of Dafa, it will be like we are being held inside a Vajra cover where nobody dares to harm us. However, once we come out of the Vajra cover, the old forces and the tremendous karma will pile on.
At this time, our fellow practitioners can help us, but only Master can save us. A practitioner said to me that around our fellow practitioners is a net of predestined relationship. Some of them are good friends life after life, but some others do not belong to the same celestial body at all, so their thinking is completely different. However, in other dimensions, they would all come to help from various directions when they see a practitioner is in need. Some practitioners in other dimensions, whose names I do not even know, have sent forth righteous thoughts on my behalf to eliminate the evil day and night, once they heard my name and learned I was having a difficult time. There are no words to express my deep appreciation for them.
I didn't think I would write any more sharing articles because I did not want to invite any interference and arouse a show-off mentality. However, when I looked within, I thought my tribulation experience would be a good lesson for others to benefit from. A cultivator who faithfully follows the principle of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance can save people in ordinary people's jobs or Dafa projects.
If we can form one body, no matter what happens to our fellow practitioners, we can support them with righteous thoughts, just as my mother supports me, and then there will be no tests that we cannot pass. This being the case, how does the evil dare to surface, and swear at us? When I notice it, it is then my responsibility to send forth righteous thoughts to suppress it and prevent it from recurring again. With such enlightening, I shed tears for those practitioners who clarify the truth in the most dangerous, evil front line. I am truly grateful.
The above are some thoughts of mine. Please compassionately point out any shortcomings in my sharing. Thank you to all fellow practitioners as we strive more diligently together toward consummation.
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Category: Improving Oneself
