(Minghui.org) I didn't know my husband's family was so different until after I married him.
My husband's father spoiled all five of his children – he never corrected their wrongdoings. My husband's mother was not frugal with money. She would spend all the family's money, even if it was borrowed, so they never had any savings. She also has bad habits including gambling and smoking.
I have two sisters-in-law who are married to my husband's elder brothers. They began complaining to me about our parents-in-law soon after I got married.
I'm an elementary school teacher. I grew up in a family that values honesty, kindness, hard work and frugality. My mother showed great filial piety to her father-in-law, so I modeled myself after her in treating my parents-in-law. I worked every day, leaving my husband home to take care of our two kids. My mother-in-law went out to gamble every day, and my husband was very upset. Therefore, I took over the kids as soon I got home from work, made dinner and did chores. I was swamped every day.
My husband often had tantrums. Sometimes, when I helped my students catch up with school work and came home a little late, he would curse and hit me. My parents-in-law never said anything, and I gradually developed a grievance against them. Worse yet, dizziness, insomnia, breast tumors and heart problems started to haunt me.
I often wept. I wanted to stop being nice to my in-laws, but it was against my nature. At the same time, while keeping silent, I felt wronged and my resentment grew.
One Sunday evening when my older son was in the first grade, I found that he hadn't done his homework during the weekend as he was supposed to. I told him to finish his homework, otherwise he would not be allowed to go to bed. My husband was very upset. He yelled at me, “I'll tell him not to do it. See if you can do anything about it!” I argued with him and wept all night.
The next day, my husband ignored me even after I skipped breakfast and lunch. I was so angry that I swallowed a bunch sleeping pills. He still ignored me. It wasn't until my parents came and took me to the hospital that my life was saved. I went to my parents' home after being discharged from the hospital.
My husband and in-laws came several times to apologize and beg me to come home. I didn't want to live that life anymore, but I missed my two kids.
While I was torn by this dilemma, an acquaintance gave me a copy of Zhuan Falun and recommended that I read it. Thinking it would help me feel better, my mother brought me to the practice site that evening.
After learning Master's Fa, I understood that there is a reason for everything that happens in the human world. I knew that one should look inside during a conflict, that one should be tolerant of others and think about others first in every circumstance. I understood that one should take reputation, self-interest, and feelings lightly. By doing this one will feel at ease even while being treated badly.
Several days later, I decided to go home. Before I left, my mother asked my husband to look after me for a few days because I was still very weak and thin. My husband promised he would, but he behaved the same old way as soon as we returned home.
I thought, “Since I'm back and now understand the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, it's fine if you don't want to change. I will change, and I will endure without feeling resentment or hatred.”
This is how I started my journey of Falun Dafa cultivation practice in October 1998.
My Family Became Harmonious After I Began Practicing
During the day I taught at school, and at night, I studied the Fa and did the exercises. I became happy and optimistic. My dizziness, insomnia, breast tumors and heart problems disappeared. My younger son told me several times that he had seen Falun rotating. I was very happy.
I remembered to conduct myself with the requirements of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I no longer argued with my husband when he was being unreasonable. When he got drunk, I cleaned him up and took care of him.
He gradually changed. He became attentive and often bragged to his friends that he had a nice wife who is good to him and filial to the elders. My in-laws praised me in front of others too. I no longer cared about being praised. I was only following Master's requirements to conduct myself and assimilate to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
We renovated our house in 2009. I repainted all my mother-in-law's old furniture and it looked like new. That winter she bought an electric blanket, but it didn't work. She asked me to exchange it. I went to the store and exchanged it for a better one which cost almost twice as much. I paid the difference and didn't mention it to her.
A few days later, a neighbor asked me, “How much did your mother-in-law's electric blanket cost?” I asked, “Why do you want to know?” She said, “I went to buy the same blanket as hers with the price she told me, but the store wouldn't sell it to me. They said the price was double. I didn't believe them so I'm asking you.”
It was then that my mother-in-law found out that I had paid to get her a high-quality one. The neighbor said, “I've never seen such a considerate daughter-in-law.”
Last year, my mother-in-law's TV stopped working. The repair shop said it was too old to fix and suggested she buy a new one instead. Her yearly income was only 2700 yuan from three of her sons and she couldn't afford it. I wanted to ask my two brothers-in-law to discuss the possibilities of chipping in to buy her a new one, but I was afraid their wives would make a fuss.
After thinking it over, I told my husband, “Let's buy one for mom ourselves.” He agreed and we spent several hundred yuan and bought her a new one. She was very happy.
A few years ago, my husband and his eldest brother traded two pieces of land. It was witnessed by their two younger brothers.
Three years later, the wife (our eldest sister-in-law) changed her mind and wanted to switch the properties back. My two younger brothers-in-law came to persuade me not to honor her unreasonable request. I said, “As one family, we cannot go head-to-head over little things like this. Since our sister-in-law doesn't like it, we'll switch it back. I practice Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. When you take a step back in a conflict, you will find the seas and the skies boundless. It's important for a family to be harmonious.” They were both moved. I treated my eldest sister-in-law the same way as before.
My niece got married but had a conflict with her husband's family. Last spring, she returned to her parents' home with her three-month-old baby and stayed for a year. At the end of last year, her husband's family came to pick her up, but her mother wouldn't allow her to go back.
A month later, the mother and daughter were blaming each other over something. My husband and I became aware of it. One day, when my niece came to my home, I told her how to conduct oneself following Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and called her husband's family to come pick her up. So she returned with her husband.
Now my entire family is harmonious. It is all because Dafa has taught me how to balance family relationships.
Troubled Class Turns Around
I'm a core curriculum head teacher at school and I work very hard. Parents praise me and say I'm a good teacher and students like to attend my class. If there is a troubled class with poor behavior and poor scores, the principal gives the class to me. I never refuse because I'm a practitioner and will do any assignment the boss gives.
In September two years ago, the principal gave me the most troubled class in the school – the students would drink beer in class, smash desks and curse the teacher. The previous teacher often went to the principal and wept out of frustration.
The principal talked with the students many times, but couldn't solve the problem. At last the principal asked the students, “What does it take to make you study?” The most troubled student answered, “If Ms. A (referring to me) teaches us, we will stop making trouble, because she's the best.”
After I took over the class, the students continued to make trouble every two or three days. They fooled around with the surveillance camera in the classroom, smoked, and brought a dagger and a club to the classroom. Fighting and cursing were common.
I used the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance to teach the children, and treated them with tolerance and an open mind. Within two months, they changed. They not only became disciplined, but also began to pay attention to study. During the Year-end Exam, for the two subjects that I taught – Math and Science, my class ranked the first in the entire county. In the Graduation Exam later, they ranked the same.
Last September, I took over a troubled class again. After one semester, the students have greatly improved in both behavior and their academic scores. Their Science scores ranked first place in the county, and their Math ranked third, only 0.57 point less than the first place.
One day, when I went to the office, several teachers smiled as soon as I walked in. I asked, “What's so funny?” One of them said, “The principal was here just now. He patted on your desk and said, 'Look how wonderful those who practice Falun Gong are! If the authorities weren't persecuting it, I would practice it too.'”
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Category: Improving Oneself
