(Minghui.org) I’ve always been impatient and have wished to know my school test results as soon as possible. I did not realize it, but this was also an attachment to expecting a reply from others.
I was very anxious while waiting for the test results. Waiting was what tortured me so much. I didn’t improve after I left high school and went on to college, nor did I realize that I had this strong attachment. This deeply hidden attachment surfaced when I was interacting with other people.
I had a disagreement with a good friend at my university because he didn’t immediately reply to me. I thought that he was being rude or perhaps he didn't think I was important. I felt unhappy, but I didn’t realize that this was my own problem.
Because I did not actively eliminate my notions, I had conflicts. I had a boyfriend with whom I got along with well. At one point, he didn’t respond to my messages for a week. I was so angry that my chest hurt. I felt so wronged that I couldn’t sleep. Even though I kept studying the Fa, I couldn’t take it, and I broke up with him.
Local practitioners have recently been discussing whether we should immediately reply to others. During our discussions, different views surfaced. I started to look inward and found that my attachment had grown.
I realized “expecting others to reply” is a selfish mindset. Because I want to prove that my opinion is important, and I want others to agree with me, I feel that they should reply to me.
Is it really so important that others reply immediately? I seem to have forgotten that others don’t respond immediately because they’re busy. When I examined my attachment further, I noticed competitiveness, showing off, seeking fame, etc., all human notions which we should let go of.
As soon as I identified these attachments, everything around me became clear. I no longer care about how others look at me, and I've stopped making casual comments about others.
The ability to honestly look inward whenever we encounter difficulty is extremely important. Whenever I feel wronged or think that a conflict has nothing to do with me, I should look inward. I must remember that these are good opportunities to improve.
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Category: Improving Oneself
