(Minghui.org) I am a young Falun Dafa practitioner who was born in 1993. When the persecution started in 1999, however, our cultivation environment dramatically changed, and I became passive in my cultivation. My mother had to constantly remind and prod me to keep up with Fa study and the exercises.
But Master did not give up on me, even when I did not act like a practitioner. He has always been watching and guiding me. With Master's help, I finally turned around and became a true practitioner.
Understanding the Power of Dafa
My mother started practicing Falun Dafa when I was two years old. She read Zhuan Falun while holding me in her arms. She also taught me many of Master's poems from Hong Yin. She also took me to the group Fa study and doing the exercises.
I was losing my hearing, and had these big growths that were very painful. Mom said that it was a good sign and to recite “Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” As soon as I did, I recovered.
As a young practitioner I understood not to take any medication, even when I had symptoms of a heavy cold. My father even threatened to hit me. I told him I was a practitioner and would be fine.
When I was in elementary school, I had a big pustule filled with pus on the bottom of my foot. It was swollen so badly that I could not put on my shoe. But, I did not go to the hospital. I bandaged my foot and went to school every day. I told my mother that I was a practitioner and would be fine.
Losing My Cultivation Environment
When the persecution was launched in 1999, my mother was arrested and imprisoned. I had no cultivation environment during those few years. My family members and friends blamed my mother and despised us.
I felt very hurt and scared by their hostility and coldness. I did not want them to malign Dafa. I knew that Dafa is good and Master is good. I believed in Dafa and Master. However, I was not diligent and gradually slacked off. I did poorly academically and felt very insecure.
When I was in middle school, my mother was detained again. My father did not discipline me and just let me be. I was at a loss, and was pessimistic and negative in my thinking. My temper was bad and I took it out on my family a lot. I regret it very much now.
Getting Back to Cultivation
I thought Master would not want me to be a practitioner anymore. I was not doing well at all and I had let Master down. But, Master saw that I had the heart to change and wanted to do better. He gave me signs. I dreamed one day that during a test, all my classmates were doing well but I did not know the answers to any of the questions. When the teacher said time was up, I woke up from my dream. I knew that Master was worried about me.
When I was in high school, my mother and I moved to a different place. The change in our environment made it easier for us to cultivate. My mother woke me up every morning to do the exercises and we read one lecture of Zhuan Falun every night. I also got rid of many bad habits.
I was once again the optimistic and outgoing person I used to be. A friend told me I often brought sunshine to the room. Although the amount of school work increased in my last year of high school in preparation for the college entrance exam, I did the exercises every day. I studied the Fa and shared with mother whenever I could. I continued to go out and put stickers about Dafa on walls on the weekends and holidays. I was back on track with my cultivation.
Getting Rid of Human Notions
Attachment to Appearance
As my friends started to pay more attention to their looks and used makeup, I did the same. I spent a lot of time browsing online and looking for nice clothes and skin care products on the shopping websites. Then one day, I broke out in a rash on my face that lasted for two weeks and my skin became worse than before.
Mom asked me, “Have you forgotten that you are a Dafa practitioner? Have you really placed your faith in Master and the Fa?”
Master said,
“...young ladies always like to use cosmetics and want to make their complexions fairer and better. I would say that if you truly follow a cultivation practice of mind and body, you will naturally achieve that goal.” (Zhuan Falun)
Master's Fa helped me find my attachments. I knew I had made mistakes. I apologized to Master and threw away all my makeup. The rash cleared up when I let go of my attachment to appearance.
Attachment to Popular Music
I enjoy singing and have won many singing contests in high school and college. I also like to watch talent shows. I often hummed popular songs without realizing it. I did not think of it as a problem as long as they were not the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) propaganda songs. After sharing with some local practitioners, I realized that it was not right. Yet I was still humming these songs out of habit sometimes. I was bothered by it and wanted to get rid of this habit.
Thus, I decided not to listen to those songs anymore, so they would not fill my head. If I catch myself with the desire to sing these songs, I would eliminate them with righteous thoughts. Then I would start singing Dafa songs.
One time I was singing “Shi En Song,” a line of lyrics “Helping Master rectify the Fa, how could I be scared of entering this world of suffering,” I thought about how lucky I was to be introduced to Dafa when I was a small child. However, I have been slacking off in my cultivation and have not been consistent. I have let Master down.
Attachment to Internet
People always say, “Growing up is a painful experience.” It is so correct because as we grow, we encounter all kinds of bad influences. I have been influenced by everyday people's notions of fame, sentimentality and self-interest as a teenager. As a result, I made many mistakes in my cultivation. When I did not know how to deal with these problems, Master helped me.
I have been attracted by many things, such as my cellphone. I was obsessed with social media, online shopping and browsing websites, watching TV and movies. It was entertainment in my life and even interfered with my morning exercises. Since all my peers did the same things, I did not think I was doing anything wrong.
One time, I watched a TV drama series then regretted it very much afterward. Just as I decided that I would not do it again, out of habit, I took out my cell phone and started checking my messages. I knew it was because of my attachment to everyday people's happy life and the love between a man and a woman. They were weakening my willpower to stay diligent in my cultivation.
Master said,
“This society is already a mess, and on the Internet all bad things are stirred in, just like demons, circulating. Whatever goes in is stirred in there or mixed in there, disrupting society, the human mind, and morality, and changing people's living state—the good and the bad are all jumbled together.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2016 New York Fa Conference”)
“People may say that it doesn’t matter what they see with their eyes, and that they can just stop looking at something if they no longer want to see it. But that’s not true. When your vision makes contact with something, that thing has entered. That’s because any thing can replicate itself in other dimensions, so the longer you look at something, the more it enters. No matter what it is, be it on television or on a computer, it enters once you look at it.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference XI)
The old forces were trying to interfere with my cultivation, and I would not let them succeed. When I wanted to watch ordinary TV programs, my main consciousness and righteous thoughts became stronger.
I told myself, “I am a cultivator. The TV program is not good for me. I cannot watch it.” Then I was able to stop myself.
When I had a few minutes, I recited Lunyu, and listen to Master's lectures and read sharing articles on the Minghui website. I sent righteous thought even when I was walking and my desire to watch TV became less and less. When I picked up my cell phone and wanted to look at ordinary people's social media, I was able to control myself and able to base my thoughts on the Fa.
I truly understood what Master said,
“It's fine to have those human things--when you are able to restrain them in your actions, strengthen your resolve, firm up your righteous thoughts, and handle yourself well, then that's cultivation.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference IV)
I had not been doing the exercises every morning and sometimes I didn't do all five sets. It's all because of my attachment to comfort and my laziness. During holidays or on weekends, I sometimes went back to sleep after doing the exercises, feeling that I should relax because it's the holidays. But there's no holiday in cultivation. In exposing these attachments here, I hope to truly get rid of them and have a breakthrough.
Responsibilities of a Cultivator
Although I have long become a young adult, I still subconsciously consider myself a little practitioner and therefore very much depended on my mother in my cultivation. For the longest time, I was not walking my own path in cultivation. After sharing with my mother and studying the Fa with another practitioner, I gradually realized my responsibility as a cultivator.
I no longer depended on my mother to remind me, but took the initiative to do Fa study with her every day. I was surprised to find that I was able to clearly see the Fa principles behind sections that I had read many times before but never truly understood. I became more clear-headed and more efficient at work. I knew that Master had given me wisdom.
Master said,
“A person who truly cultivates will gain things naturally without pursuing them. All of the gong and Fa lie in the book, and one will naturally obtain them by reading Dafa. Those who learn it will change automatically, and they will already be in the Dao when they read the book over and over again.” (“Seeking Discipleship with Teacher” from Essentials For Further Advancement)
Clarifying the Truth
After jointly filing a criminal complaint against Jiang Zemin (the former leader of the CCP who initiated the persecution) with my mother in July 2015, I also helped many other local practitioners with their complaints. Although some practitioners did not finish elementary school and were not strong writers, their personal statement was still quite long. Their determination in suing Jiang Zemin truly touched me. I admired them.
When looking back on my cultivation path, I realized that I have always been pushed by Master in my cultivation. Even though I have not done well in so many ways, Master never gave up on me. Master is so compassionate and has given me good health, a stable job, a good cultivation environment, and a fellow practitioner like my mother who has always helped me in my cultivation.
I used to worry that I would not be able to do a good job clarifying the truth, so I brought friends home so my mother could tell them about Dafa. Those who chose to quit the Party and its affiliated organizations have all received blessings.
My mother went out every day with a few other practitioners to clarify the truth to strangers. I decided that I must do the same. Now, I have started to clarify the truth by myself. I told taxi drivers about Dafa during my cab rides. I told students about Dafa when I walked down the street. I was no longer afraid of talking about Dafa to my classmates and friends. Most people gladly accepted that Dafa is good. I realized that clarifying the truth was not hard at all.
Though I have not helped many people quit the Party, Master always encouraged me when I did. If I did not study the Fa well, my efforts were not as effective. I felt anxious because compared to those who did the three things diligently, I was lagging far behind and am far from Master's requirements. I sometimes felt that I was not worthy to be Master's disciple. But all I can do now is to cultivate diligently and solidly, and do my best to catch up with other practitioners.
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