(Minghui.org) I was a teenager when I began practicing Falun Dafa 20 years ago. I began watching TV dramas and reading novels when I was young, which became a habit. Because of this attachment I stopped cultivating for almost two years and was depressed. Recently, I managed to break out of that cycle. I'd like to share how I changed my life and got rid of the attachment.
Not Truly Letting Go of Fame, Self-Interest and Sentimentality
I recently realized that the reason I liked to follow Korean TV dramas and read novels online was because I still had a lot of human notions. For example, I felt ashamed that I didn't own a car or a house.
More importantly, I had not truly believed that practicing Dafa could help me reach consummation.
I felt miserable because no one at home liked me or cared about me. Family members and friends looked down on me, and they considered me to be incompetent.
I seldom thought about consummation or saving sentient beings. I felt so unfortunate that I completely forgot about my ability to cultivate to consummation or being the most honored person in my celestial world.
Therefore, I began to indulge myself in novels where the main characters were attractive, popular and chased after by members of the opposite sex. I felt as if I was part of the stories and didn't want to step away from the fantasy worlds.
I loathed myself because of my poor financial situation and felt wounded when others looked down on me. I became attached to the TV or novel scenes where the main character became a high-ranking official, a king, an emperor, or reincarnated as someone of high rank. All these characters could take revenge on their former tormenters.
Overcoming the Attachments
I read novels and didn't study in theFa for nearly two years. However, I often practiced the second exercise in the morning. Even so, Master kept strengthening me. I always thought about restarting cultivation and getting rid of the habit of reading novels and watching TV, but I failed to take action.
I finally managed to go to the Minghui website. After I read some practitioners' sharing articles, I began to realize that lust was a serious test. I also downloaded recordings from Minghui radio and Minghui weekly. I listened to Minghui radio at work and transcribed Zhuan Falun at night. Gradually, my addiction to fiction and TV became weaker and weaker.
When I was once out of town on a business trip I was tempted to watch a TV drama. However, I came across a novel and ended up spending the whole night reading. So, when I realized that I needed to completely eliminate this attachment, the urges became stronger.
On my way home, thoughts of inferiority reappeared, and the urge to read novels to push out the pain returned. After I started studying the Fa, I knew that it was the attachment of inferiority causing my problem. So, I wrote “You are great, wonderful!” and saved it on my cell phone. I read it many times to encourage myself.
Just when I had almost forgotten about the attachment, it arose a couple of times on weekends when I felt bored.
The first time it popped up, I was almost dragged down. So, I recorded what happened in my cultivation diary. While writing, Master strengthened my righteous thoughts. I finally enlightened that because of my attachment, I was infusing myself with sentimentality and karma by reading the novels and watching TV. This also meant that I was breeding evil beings who could persecute other practitioners. I came to realize that I should completely stop reading novels. By writing in my cultivation diary, I finally managed to break through this issue.
The attachment flared up again during another weekend. I felt that I was going to go along with it and start reading or watching TV. I did not give into the impulse and began writing in my diary. I then realized that the urge must have something to do with the ongoing Chinese Communist Party Congress. Evil entities in other dimensions were gathering in China. They wanted to destroy my will by strengthening my attachments, with the goal of making me fail in cultivation. In the end, I came to understand that I must be unwavering in my determination to eliminate the evil factors.
At the same time, I also realized that any ordinary person who was full of sentimentality could not combat the old forces. Thus, I had to be as determined as a god. To accomplish that, I had to get rid of attachments to fame, self-interest, and sentimentality, as well as the attachment to fantasy. In the end, I made the breakthrough.
The attachment has never surfaced again. When I came across other people who shared about the content of novels or television shows, I wasn't moved, nor did I want to indulge in them. I knew that I had managed to completely cut off my desire to read novels and watch TV.
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Category: Improving Oneself
