(Minghui.org) For a long time, my understanding of what human notions are was superficial. When so many human notions kept surfacing one after another, I thought that I didn't cultivate well enough and felt helpless to pull myself out of the situation. I even became depressed.
Looking inward I finally realized that these notions stem from selfishness, which is perhaps the most fundamental and difficult attachment to eliminate. Selfishness protects itself from being eliminated by hiding or having us use excuses. My understanding is that selfishness makes one get upset when being criticized because it fears being exposed.
Selfishness manifests in many ways, including as feelings of resentment, anger and blaming ourselves or others when our attachments to self-interest or saving face are touched upon.
Sometimes I became so upset that I lost my temper and I swore at others. After I studied the Fa more, I realized that all human notions arise from selfishness.
Selfishness belongs to the old universe and is an arrangement of the old forces. The old forces use selfishness to restrict practitioners to the false shell of humanity, and to separate us from our Buddha nature. When we focus on protecting ourselves instead of saving others, we forget our vows and forget to be compassionate. The old forces use this as an excuse to interfere with Fa-rectification and to rampantly persecute us.
Selfishness also enlarges a person’s ego so that he doesn't look inward based on the Fa.
When I examined myself, I noticed that whenever I did something, I wished to show off. At the same time, I was jealous of other practitioners and avoided interacting with them.
When I did share my understandings with fellow practitioners, I would manipulate the conversation to show how correct I was, how strong my righteous thoughts were, and that my opinions were correct and that others were wrong.
I firmly rejected anyone's advice or criticism because my selfishness feared being exposed and eliminated.
I also had a superficial understanding of getting rid of the attachment to lust. I thought it meant that I must stop sleeping with my wife. In order to do that, I tried to avoid her, and we slept in separate beds. I even thought about divorcing her. Of course, my odd behavior caused a lot of misunderstanding and tension in our relationship.
The situation changed only after I understood the Fa more deeply. I realized that the way I had been acting came from selfishness. I was only protecting myself.
Practitioners should be altruistic and place the interests of others above their own. I began treating my wife as a being who came to be saved. When my energy field is strong and my physical desires are under control, her desires moderate themselves. Thus our relationship is now more pure and harmonious.
I notice that some practitioners exaggerate their courage in clarifying the truth to an extreme and ignore the safety of other practitioners. Others still haven't let go of Party culture. Whenever conflicts arise, instead of looking inward, telling the truth and cultivating themselves, they argue with others.
Some people don't clarify the truth and they prevent others from doing so. They formed their own small group, promote their “advanced understanding”, and say that they are cultivating at a high level.
Fellow practitioners, wake up! Its time to break out of the cocoon of selfishness to save more people and carry out what Master asks us to do.
The above is my recent understanding. Please point out anything that is inappropriate.
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Category: Improving Oneself
