(Minghui.org) Jealousy is one of the attachments that practitioners should be vigilant about, but I had ignored it for many years, thinking that I did not have much of it. When I looked within recently, I noticed that I was often jealous. Sometimes it's even severe.
Identifying and Overcoming My Jealousy
I began to write articles and submit them to Minghui. I felt that some of my articles were good, but they were not published. I thought some of the articles on the website were not as good as mine, so I became jealous and even resented the editors. I concluded that the editors had limited judgment and could not tell which articles were good. This happened several times until I realized that I was jealous, and I decided to eliminate the attachment.
After looking inward, I found that I was writing articles to validate myself. My intention was not to expose the persecution, save lives or to validate the Fa. I just wanted my articles to be published so that I could prove I was talented. This was a strong attachment to seeking fame. I also had the attachments of showing off, zealotry and resentment. So many hidden attachments! I realized how serous my problem was.
A local practitioner had his article published in Minghui’s special edition for the China Online Fahui. I was not happy when I noticed that the article was by a local practitioner. I couldn't come to grips with it at first. I carefully read the article twice more and realized that he had cultivated to a much higher level than me. I was amazed by his solid cultivation and improvement.
I looked within to see why I had that strange reaction and I realized I was jealous. I now realize that good articles are the result of good cultivation. My articles were not published because I had not cultivated well.
Lesson Learned
I work in a factory owned by a fellow practitioner. The manager was a woman whose salary was 5,000 yuan a month. She was good at talking, but every day she came late and left early. She always called me to handle things, and I felt that she had mistreated me several times.
I knew I was a cultivator and forced myself to tolerate her. However, I couldn't truly pass the test and ended up quitting my job. I was filled with regret after I realized that I had sidestepped a great opportunity to improve during conflicts. Nothing is accidental in our cultivation. However, I lost the chance to improve myself.
When I examined myself, I found that I was jealous of my supervisor. I had adopted an everyday person’s logic to analyze the conflict, so I thought she was jealous of me and had tried to edge me out. I was so wrong!
This incident left a deep impression on me and helped me remember that I am a cultivator. When any conflicts surface, I need to look within unconditionally to find where I'm at fault. If I don't do this, then I'm the same as an everyday person. I may even cause an everyday person to have a bad impression of Dafa–which is extremely serious.
When I deeply examined the motives behind all my thoughts and actions, I saw that jealousy was hidden behind everything I did. I also sought fame. At the root of everything was my selfish nature.
Master taught us:
“If you do not want to change your human state and rationally rise to a true understanding of Dafa, you will miss the opportunity. If you do not change the human logic that you, as an ordinary human, have formed deep in your bones over thousands of years, you will be unable to break away from this superficial human shell and reach Consummation.” (“Cautionary Advice” from Essentials For Further Advancement)
Master also said:
“Jealousy is very serious, because it directly impacts whether we can cultivate to Perfection. If jealousy isn’t eliminated, all the thoughts you’ve cultivated become fragile. There’s a rule: a person who doesn’t get rid of jealousy while cultivating cannot achieve a True Fruition—he definitely won’t achieve a True Fruition.” (Zhuan Falun)
Jealousy has been the hardest attachment for me to cast off! This is my limited understanding. Please point out anything improper.
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Category: Improving Oneself
