(Minghui.org) I would like to share with practitioners my cultivation experiences and understandings of the Fa, that I realized during my pregnancy.
Questioning a Baby's Presence
My husband’s family are Falun Dafa practitioners. A year ago, I witnessed how my husband’s elder sister was slipping in her cultivation with no time to study the Fa or do the exercises, because she was raising two young children.
I said to my husband, “Aren’t your elder sister’s children committing a sin, as they unwittingly interfere with a practitioner's cultivation?”
“The children have done nothing wrong,” my husband replied. “It’s the adults who have not passed their cultivation tests.”
My husband was right. How could I be looking outward and blaming innocent children?
A practitioner brought an eighth-month old baby to our small Fa study group soon after. She was just so cute that I couldn’t help looking at her, and getting myself distracted from the Fa study. I realized that I was allowing the old forces to interfere with me, so I stopped, and eventually passed the test.
Although the baby was extremely well-behaved, to expect her to remain absolutely still for over an hour and not make the slightest noise was unrealistic. I knew that was something I, her parents, and everyone else at the Fa study session had to overcome. It was a great opportunity for each of us to raise our xinxing in the process.
On one occasion, the baby would not leave her mother alone. Her mother just said to her quietly, “Go away and play. Don’t disturb me.”
The baby seemed to understand and quieted down.
I later found out that the mother also took her baby with her when she went out to talk to people about Falun Dafa. She did not let having a baby interfere with what she had to do.
My concerns with having my own baby was interference stemming from my attachment to fear and worry about the unknown, and my lack of trust in Master and in Dafa.
Denying My Human Notions
During the beginning of my pregnancy, my lower abdomen would become slightly painful when it was exposed to cold. I was thus still wearing thick, long clothing in the heat of summer.
Because I associated all my problems with the cold, I wouldn’t even allow my husband to turn on the air conditioning, or even a fan, no matter how hot it was. When he complained, I accused him of being insensitive and non-caring about the new life inside me.
One time, our small Fa study group was discussing cultivation experiences. One practitioner mentioned her sickness karma of “rhinitis.” She claimed that her problem started when she had her air-conditioning on while she was pregnant, but then wondered why the problem was still present after many years.
I suggested that perhaps she needed to turn her mindset around. She had been a Dafa practitioner for a long time, so how could there still be sickness karma? I told her that was being reflected in her dimension was merely an illusion. The more she was afraid of the effect of the air conditioning, the more that thought would interfere with her.
My husband remarked afterwards, “You were telling others to deny their human notions, but you are hanging on tightly to yours.”
His words woke me up. I was indeed applying everyday people’s common beliefs and medical knowledge to guide my thoughts and actions. I was acting just like an ordinary person. How could I forget that I am a Dafa practitioner?
Once I came to this realization, I no longer feared feeling cold from the air conditioning.
Several times when my husband offered to turn the air conditioning or the fans off when I got home, I stopped him and assured him that I did not mind them being on.
I sometimes felt some pain, but I knew the pain had nothing to do with the air conditioning or fans. Soon enough, the pain and other symptoms disappeared.
Refusing to Walk the Path of Ordinary People
I didn’t have much knowledge about pregnancy, but as soon as I became pregnant I continually searched online for such information.
Master said:
“Human society appears to be progressing, but in fact it is regressing and moving further away from the characteristic of the universe.” (Zhuan Falun)
My mind was soon filled with ordinary people’s knowledge. I began to realize that these notions were pulling me from my divine path onto an everyday human path, as I had chosen the human way of thinking and acting.
It suddenly dawned on me, “Why am I being granted a life to be born into my family? Is it so that the child can start off and grow up enjoying the best I have to offer?”
Every mother wants to give the best to her child, but what she actually gives the child might not be the best. If she does not have clarity within the Fa, she might be leading the child away from his or her true destiny.
As practitioners, our being granted children is not for the sake of having a family life, but to offer them a good cultivation environment.
Master said:
“Such a path has been arranged for you because there are such factors in the cosmos, which have been given to you, and you are entrusted to walk that path.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference IV)
My pregnancy was arranged by Master, so to give birth to and bring up a child is also part of my responsibility as a Dafa practitioner.
I became aware that any wayward thought could be detrimental to the new life living inside me, so I made it a point to spend an hour every day sending forth righteous thoughts specifically to eliminate all negative influences that attempt to drag me down and away from Dafa.
Dafa Practitioners Have to Play the Leading Role
After I became pregnant, I had put all my thought and energy into human things, which negatively affected my doing well the three things a practitioner should do. Why would I allow myself to be constantly interfered with? Why was I not able to stay true to Master?
Master said:
“Since mankind was created for Dafa, Dafa is this play's main theme, and all sentient beings' existences revolve around this main theme. It's just that people have been engrossed with the conflicts and clashes that have been acted out in the details of the play, and have forgotten the play's main theme and the purpose of life.” (Touring North America to Teach the Fa)
I was placing too much importance on my pregnancy and my unborn child, and not enough on being a Dafa practitioner with a mission. I had steered away from my divine path and fallen into the quagmire of ordinary human society.
Master said:
“Clarifying the facts and saving sentient beings are what you need to accomplish. There is nothing else for you to accomplish. There is nothing else in this world that you need to accomplish. Those are the things that you need to work toward, and yet some people no longer pay much attention to even their own cultivation, and have instead made a priority of ordinary things. Haven’t you strayed from the path of Dafa disciples’ cultivation, then?” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2015 New York Fa Conference”)
With Master’s “stick warning,” I now have clarity on my true mission as a Dafa practitioner in the Fa-rectification period.
I have rediscovered the solid and joyful feeling that I had when I began my cultivation practice, and have returned from the deviated path.
I hold deep gratitude for Master!
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Category: Improving Oneself
