(Minghui.org) Today I read Master's recent lecture, “Fa Teaching at the New York Fa Conference on the Twenty-Fifth Anniversary of Dafa’s Introduction to the Public.” It woke me up like a stick warning.
I have done rather poorly in my cultivation recently. Several practitioners passed away and I found myself attached to sentimentality. Although I knew that was inappropriate, I tried to make excuses for myself. Also because of sentimentality, I just wanted to have my ordinary life so that my parents would not worry about me. But things unexpected often happened to me.
First is that my spoiled child did not like his school. He not only wasted tens of thousands of yuan but nearly had a mental breakdown. Then my husband, who lives in a different city, lost all his money because of gambling and borrowed money at a high interest rate. As a result, he found a job there and was too ashamed to return home.
As for myself, because of conflict between coworkers, I lost my job. I was not diligent in Fa-study or doing the exercises and often felt sleepy. I had insomnia at night and a lack of energy during the day. I tried to study the Fa and do the exercises with fellow practitioners, but that did not work out. Partly because I had to work, partly because I did not want to lose face in certain circumstances, it was always difficult for us to come together for Fa-study and exercises.
Due to the intense pressure, I almost stopped cultivating and became addicted to cell phone games. I also read novels. I knew this was wrong, but I just wanted to leave my worries and all the sadness behind. This way, I still studied the Fa, did the exercises, clarified the truth, and played the games at the same time. It was as if I had one foot on the cultivation path and another heading towards being an everyday person. Deep in my mind I knew that, in essence I was no longer a Dafa disciple.
When I read the new lecture today, I saw these phrases, “Human beings see the world two-dimensionally, while divine beings view it multi-dimensionally and can see each of the world’s planes as a whole.” I wanted to cry, because I knew that Master had not abandoned me. I had already given up on myself because of pressure, attachments, and my own karma.
But Master still puts in lots of effort and has made many arrangements. He views me multi-dimensionally and does not pay attention to my bad parts and still considers me a Dafa practitioner. I felt very bad and realized that I am far away from those divine beings high above. I cannot ask for much. I guessed I would be an ordinary person or a little fairy. But Master cares about me and hopes for me to be a Dafa disciple.
From the lecture, I also saw my attachments. Master said,
“What is a Dafa disciple? There have been many religions throughout history. As you know, spiritual practice normally doesn’t involve a special mission, and only takes as its goal self-perfection—to go to heaven or become a bodhisattva or arhat as a result of successful practicing. It’s been easy for people to talk about 'saving lives,' but who would dare to actually do so? It’s hard enough to cultivate yourself, let alone take someone else with you. If you take one person with you, it means you are responsible for everything about him, and you must see to it that he practices well just as you must yourself. If you can’t even cultivate yourself well, or struggle at it, how could you possibly get him to do well at it? Moreover, 'saving lives' means saving more than just one person—you would be saving many people, and how would you shoulder the responsibility for all of them? That’s why it strikes me as rather absurd when some people say that they want to 'save lives.' But who dares to actually save lives? Good luck! To think that you could 'save lives' is a real stretch when just taking on the sickness karma from one part of a single person’s body alone would destroy you, before you could save him.”
When I read these words, I realized that I just wanted to be an ordinary person, or simply reach consummation myself. I had forgotten about saving people.
Then, Master said,
“What makes it possible for you to save lives is the power of the Fa; the foundation that you, who are Dafa disciples, laid in history; and the immense importance of your responsibilities. It is not something just anyone could do, and it is something that has never occurred in the history of all of creation. The Great Law of the cosmos is establishing Disciples of Dafa. Which beings deserve to cultivate by the Great Law of the cosmos? None had ever done that before. Even Shakyamuni didn’t achieve enlightenment by cultivating the Great Law of the cosmos, did he? He achieved what he did, as you know, by enlightening to the level of the law in the cosmos that he met the standard for. Have you thought about what you should do and what your responsibilities are as a being at this time when the Great Law of the cosmos is directly saving people? Of course, divine beings cherish greatly the Dafa disciples who have journeyed through the years of trials and tribulations, and I keep saying that those who have made it through from July 20, 1999, are extraordinary. So as a disciple yourself, you should cherish yourself and your journey, and rid yourself of anything that is filthy or bad. And by doing so you will achieve the Way through your righteous enlightenment that you established, and it will be what earns you your majestic virtue. And it will decide, for each of you, your heavenly rank.”
These words told me what to do. In the past I always thought that people in this world have too much karma and it is too difficult to save them. With little confidence in it, I did not fulfill my responsibility of clarifying the truth to people. In fact, it is Master who is truly saving people and we are only doing what we can to help. Master has established our foundation in the past and has been helping us all the time so that we can walk the path well.
I have hereby decided to genuinely cultivate myself and to validate the Fa with my words and actions. I cannot waste the opportunities any longer.
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Category: Improving Oneself
