(Minghui.org) For several years I had a hard time focusing when I read the Fa. My eyes read the words, and I tried very hard to concentrate on the meaning, but I could not focus and I did not feel that I was assimilating to the Fa.
Something in my mind blocked me from understanding the Fa, and I could not figure out what it was. As result, I often lost focus while reading, and my mind was occupied by stray thoughts. Not only did I not improve, I felt I was drifting further away from the Fa.
What was wrong? I did not give up practicing and I kept doing the three things. I felt like I was digging in a mountain of gold, but I was still dirt poor. I was very worried but I did not know how to break through this.
One day I suddenly had a thought: I had never sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the attachment of lust. I had cultivated for so many years, yet I never tried to eliminate lust! The reason is that I did not think I had the attachment of lust. I always controlled myself whenever I encountered tests, so I felt that I did not have lust.
When I started to send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate lust, it was terrible! Bedroom scenes from movies I'd watched, pornographic photos, and love stories all flooded my mind! It took me a long time to clear them out. I suddenly understood the meaning of the series of dreams I had when I first started to practice.
Several times, I dreamed of tombs. One time I robbed a tomb, and the police were after me. I tried to move the jewelry I stole but realized that I was holding a mummy. In another dream, I walked through a tomb lined with giant mummies.
I know that attachment of lust is one of the major excuses the old forces use to persecute practitioners. Since I still had the attachment of lust, the old forces set obstacles in other dimensions to prevent me from enlightening to the high-level principles of the Fa. As result, I could not assimilate to the Fa. My human side did not understand what was going on.
If I could not assimilate to the Fa, I still belonged to the old universe. The old universe is in the last stage of destruction. I realized that the tomb in my dream symbolized the old universe. My running with the mummy is telling me that I still had not given up the principles of the old universe.
I realized that this was why I was interfered with when I studied the Fa. I was determined to eliminate the attachment of lust and all other interference set up by the old forces. After I understood what was happening, I put my heart on Fa study, and I now enlighten to the Fa's high-level principles.
It was so dangerous! I know I still need to continue to eliminate the attachment of lust. After I realized this I wondered if other practitioners are having this issue. This attachment is a huge reason the old forces can use to persecute you.
It's obvious when we are persecuted at the human level, but it is hidden and dangerous when the persecution happens in another dimension. If a practitioner can not assimilate to the Fa, isn't he cultivating in vain? I want to use my experience to warn fellow practitioners.
We all know how important it is to study the Fa. If we cannot do well with Fa study, we cannot assimilate to the Fa. We need to find the root cause of what is interfering with us. Otherwise, we may really fall into old forces' trap without realizing that it's happening.
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Category: Improving Oneself
