(Minghui.org) In the past, I did not clearly understand the principles of the Fa. I have many human attachments, which caused the old forces to exploit my gaps, and severe “sickness karma” appeared as a result.
Under Master's hints and practitioners' assistance, I finally rectified myself. Here, I am writing out the whole process, which can serve as a warning to other practitioners who still have “sickness karma.”
Human Attachments
I started practicing Dafa because I believed it could cure my illnesses. However, after over twenty years of cultivation, I still did not realize this fundamental attachment, much less let go of it. This attachment was exploited by the old forces, coupled with another attachment. I was overly concerned with illness after I was arrested and sent to a brainwashing center.
These attachments led to the symptoms of diarrhea and vomiting. I thought that this was because I occasionally watched some television. I persisted in sending forth righteous thoughts all night and did the exercises. I quit watching television and became well in a few days. I didn't give it much thought afterward.
Later, I went to a former practitioner's house for a new year’s celebration to persuade her to come back to Dafa. I shivered all over after staying at her house for a while and decided to leave.
As I left, she told me that she now practices Buddhism and visited almost all the temples in mainland China and Taiwan. I did not have righteous thoughts when I heard this. I thought to myself, “No wonder I felt so cold. She went around to pray. There must be many bad things and dark substances on her body.”
I had previously heard another practitioner say that her eyes became severely swollen after she talked for more than an hour to a practitioner who enlightened on a wicked path, trying to persuade her to return to Dafa. She saw in another dimension that there were a lot of rotten demons gathering around them. They told her that, if she interfered, they would be belligerent. This incident left a lasting impression on me and made me afraid.
That night, I had diarrhea and vomited. I was feeling very cold and could not eat or sleep. I persisted in studying the Fa, sending forth righteous thoughts, and doing the exercises.
I was able to sleep for a while the next day after sending righteous thoughts at 6 a.m. I dreamed that I was climbing a very steep mountain. I was so tired that I couldn't go on. Then, I heard a voice from below, telling me to climb up. When I finally reached the peak, I started walking towards home and met a person who told me that I still needed to drill nine holes.
When I woke up, I thought that, since I reached the peak of the mountain, I had passed the test. As for the nine holes, I thought that I had nine more tests to go. I gritted my teeth and struggled through those few days. Recalling this, I realized that it was actually the old forces that had set a trap, wanting me to acknowledge the tribulations.
I went out to clarify the truth and persuade people to quit the Communist Party after I became better. However, unusual symptoms appeared on my body two days later. I passed painful and bloody urine. I didn't treat this with righteous thoughts. I thought that Master was eliminating karma for me and kept thanking Master in my heart.
I tolerated this for over 20 hours, then fell asleep and dreamed that I was going home. There was a tall, wide wall obstructing me. I used my hands to climb up. When I reached the top, I was obstructed again, this time by oleanders. I saw a tiny hole on the left side and crawled through. I was very happy when I woke up, thinking that this dream implied that I had passed this test.
However, Master has said,
“The interference from the evil factors, by contrast, often takes the form of false hints that go along with your attachments, your being overjoyed by something, your likes, or any of your other attachments. Afterwards you will feel extra happy and be even more attached, and take a wrong turn, all the while thinking that it was Master leading you along. That's usually what happens. So how are you to distinguish the two, then? Some people say that they cultivate by the spirit messages that they receive in dreams. I would say that's nonsense. (Laughter) Being attached to dreamtime hints is not cultivation, but rather, going dangerously off course. Disciples of Dafa cultivate by following the book of Dafa, and they take the Fa as their standard. Whether you're off in dreamland or in whatever setting it may be, you have to use the Fa as your standard for measuring right and wrong, and only then will you not fall prey to interference.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference” in Teaching the Fa at the Conference IX)
Misunderstanding of the Fa Principles
When I became better, I went out to clarify the truth again and met a new practitioner. She asked me if sickness karma still appeared for veteran practitioners. Due to my attachments to showing off and of zealotry, I told her my understanding of the Fa was what Master said in “20th Anniversary Fa Teaching”:
“But, why should you shoulder so much? And some people ask me why they are persecuted so severely. Perhaps that person is bearing things on behalf of the many lives behind him. The lives that he needs to protect, and who he needs to save, are simply that enormous and that numerous. Perhaps that is caused by both his own factors as well as the factors of the beings he should save; the amount of karma or the number of factors that he shoulders from the past might also be great; there might also be accumulated old scores that he can’t resolve as well as long-standing grudges that can’t be undone at all—some of which can only be settled by exchanging his own life. So it’s on this account that things are so exceedingly complicated in the persecution.”
I had neglected the words “Perhaps” and “There might also” that Master has used. I even neglected the sentence that Master said next:
“The old forces have done some things, but amidst their interference Master has been turning the tables on them. Whatever the case, Master has his own standards, and the old forces must pay for all that they do.” (“20th Anniversary Fa Teaching” in Teaching the Fa at the Conference XI)
For a long time, there was a strange phenomenon in my area: some elderly practitioners persisted in clarifying the truth face-to-face every day and saved a large number of people. However, they continued to experience sickness karma for a long period of time. Everyone was puzzled.
I met an elderly practitioner and discussed this with her. She said that because we have saved too many sentient beings, we have to endure their karma. I believed her. When I read the above-mentioned Fa from “20th Anniversary Fa Teaching,” I was even more convinced. I spread this “enlightenment” to other practitioners, which is also why many practitioners in my area enlightened this way and endured the sickness karma.
After telling this understanding to the new practitioner, I had sickness karma that night, and it was worse than before.
The next afternoon, a practitioner visited me and saw that I was unwell. She asked me what had happened. I told her it was sickness karma. She negated it immediately, telling me that it is the old forces who are persecuting me. I added that it was because I didn't do well when I was in the brainwashing session, causing the difficulty of this tribulation to increase. She negated it again, saying that Master has mentioned that it was the old forces who would increase the tribulation, not Master.
Next, I told her how I had enlightened to the “20th Anniversary Fa Teaching.” She suggested that we study that paragraph immediately and pointed out that I was quoting this Fa out of context. We talked together a lot that day and discussed how to calm down and study the Fa and also how to negate the old forces’ arrangements.
I decided to calm down and study the Fa so as to rectify myself. Just as I wanted to rectify myself, the old forces increased their persecution on me. I became extremely cold in a short while and could not take it. I used the ordinary people's method of washing my feet with hot water and covering up with a blanket to warm myself. These methods did not solve the problem in the other dimensions. I could not eat or drink and vomited continuously.
I had no strength and could not read the Fa. My family read the Fa and played Master's Fa lecture recordings for me, but I could not understand anything. With no choice, I said, “Put everything in Master’s hands.”
When I could not endure more, I called the practitioner at almost 10 p.m. When she heard what was going on with me, she asked two other practitioners to come over. It was 11 p.m. when they arrived.
My main consciousness was very weak when they suggested that I read “Expounding on the Fa.” They asked me what my understanding was, after I read it with much effort. I said that the evil had exploited my gaps and told them my understanding of this whole persecution.
During the interaction, they did not criticize or force any thoughts on me. Instead, they talked about how they would enlighten and treat this situation according to the Fa.
One practitioner pointed out that the thought “hand everything to Master to decide” seems righteous but is actually wrong because Master has said, “disciples must not depart until the Fa-rectification is over” (“Fa-Rectification Period Dafa Disciples” in Essentials for Further Advancement II).
This is Master's arrangement. Master did not arrange for disciples to depart during the Fa-rectification period. It was a shock to me, as my thoughts had agreed with the old forces' arrangements.
Master said,
“Clarifying the facts at this point in time very much requires manpower, and if sentient beings are to be saved, it will take participation from more people. More people need to be involved in the variety of projects that aim to snuff out the evil’s persecution. In this light, then, a great deal of strength is lost when there is one less person, and a great deal of strength is gained when there is one more set of hands. So I don’t wish to leave a single person behind, nor do I want to lose them or let them depart too soon. There is no more question of Dafa disciples achieving Consummation. However, were you to depart early, it would undermine what Dafa disciples are trying to achieve, and it would amount to allowing the old forces to exploit your gaps. This is a time when manpower is really needed. Don’t allow that kind of loss to happen. I would like to see everyone try his best to do well, have ample righteous thoughts, and avoid any losses.” (“Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan” in Teaching the Fa at the Conference X)
During the interaction, my Main Consciousness gradually strengthened, and I became more clearheaded. The sharing ended at 2 a.m.
I was able to sit up the next day and study the Fa. This time, I could really calm down when studying the Fa. I now read Zhuan Falun and others lectures every day. I required myself to pay attention instead of reading quickly.
Initially, there was huge interference as swear words and the CCP's songs appeared in my head. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate them and continued to study the Fa. The interference lessened after a few days. Interference was also strong when I did the exercises. Whenever it was hard for me to continue, I shouted for Master to strengthen me, and Master's teaching came into my head:
A Great Enlightened One fears no hardshipHaving forged an adamantine willFree of attachment to living or dyingHe walks the path of Fa-rectificationConfident and poised (“Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions” in Hong Yin Volume II)
I could feel the boundless power from Master's Fa.
I have since overcome this tribulation and resumed my normal cultivation state, doing the three things. Recalling this whole process, I understand that the main reason for being persecuted is not understanding the Fa principles well; I acknowledged the old forces’ arrangements by enduring the tribulation.
I suggest that when practitioners help other practitioners to overcome sickness karma, they must also help them to rectify their understanding of the Fa principles. If they are not clear on the Fa principles, their power is limited or even suppressed when sending forth righteous thoughts.
To overcome this false “sickness karma,” one must continue to study the Fa, eliminate thoughts that are not righteous, and rectify oneself. I could overcome this because other practitioners reminded me to seriously find any thoughts that are not in line with the Fa. Any wrong ideas that are not easy to see through must be eliminated.
Lastly, I would like to share Master's teaching:
“During this Fa-rectification period, in particular, Dafa disciples' karma is no longer an issue. You must consciously and clearly recognize the evil beings' persecution. They're truly doing bad things. It's best that Dafa disciples walk their own paths righteously and not allow the evil to seize any excuse to persecute you.” (Touring North America to Teach the Fa)
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Category: Improving Oneself
