(Minghui.org) A colleague lent me the book Zhuan Falun at the end of 2009 and I read it in one go. I began to practice Falun Gong, which changed my view of the world.
Memorizing the Fa
The first two years of diligent cultivation passed quickly. However, I gradually became less diligent because of temptations in ordinary society. My xinxing dropped and lust and attachments to seeking fame and comfort arose.
When I failed some tests, I felt hopeless, but Master did not give up on me and kept giving me chances to improve my behavior.
When I read the Minghui articles that talked about cultivating xinxing and severing desire, I felt regretful and ashamed. I decided to change and discussed with several practitioners my lust problem. I vowed to study the Fa more from then on.
Although I spent three to four hours reading the Fa, I could not concentrate, felt sleepy, and had a lot of human notions and thought karma. I did not learn much from my Fa-study, and neglected to do the three things well.
I felt perturbed by my inability to study well, so I read many cultivation experience sharing articles, which helped me greatly.
I knew that many practitioners were memorizing the Fa, and their cultivation state was very good. I decided to memorize Zhuan Falun to improve my cultivation in July 2015.
It was difficult in the beginning because whenever I began to recite what I had memorized, I felt sleepy and even fell asleep. I asked Master to strengthen me and I also sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the sleep demon.
I could only memorize one or two paragraphs a day in the beginning. Gradually, I could memorize two pages a day. It took one month to memorize the first lecture and five months to memorize Zhuan Falun.
Whatever subject I was memorizing, a similar test would appear in my life. As long as I combined memorizing the Fa with cultivating xinxing and looking within, I passed the tests.
When I was memorizing “Attracting Demons in Qigong ” in the sixth lecture, a lust test appeared in a dream. In the dream, I recited the Fa that I had memorized that day and passed the lust test:
“I’m no average person. I’m a practitioner. Don’t treat me this way. I cultivate Falun Dafa.” (Zhuan Falun)
After I began memorizing Zhuan Falun, the thought karma was reduced and I could reach a tranquil state during the sitting meditation and while sending righteous thoughts. Also, new Fa principles appeared in my mind when calmly memorizing the Fa.
Once I was able to recite Zhuan Falun. I stopped reciting and only read it for the next six months. As a result, I didn't do the three things as well.
In July of last year, I began to recite the Fa again and my cultivation state improved. I realized that I needed to recite the Fa every day.
Spreading the Fa With Wisdom
I had not done well with spreading the Fa for years. I only talked with family members, good friends, and relatives, and only helped several dozen people quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP).
I tried to tell people about Falun Gong and the persecution on the Internet, but my account was often canceled before I could go into details. After two practitioners were arrested for clarifying the truth on the Internet in early 2015, I became fearful to talk with people I did not know.
When reading practitioners’ sharing on the Minghui website about helping people quit the CCP, I felt ashamed because I was not doing as well as others. I asked Master to give me wisdom.
I then memorized parts of articles from the Minghui website, and used them as scripts. I started by talking about a current news event and then moved on to talk about Falun Gong and the persecution.
Once a person understood the facts, they used their real names to withdraw from the CCP and its youth organizations.
A young taxi driver increased the music volume as soon as he heard me mention Falun Gong. I sent righteous thoughts and asked Master to give me strength. After a while he turned the music off and listened to me.
“I have had several passengers tell me that the CCP is doomed by heaven,” he said before I got out of the car. “I thought you were involved in politics. From what you have said, I knew you were a Falun Gong practitioner, so I intentionally turned the music up because I didn't want to listen to you. But what you said was like a historical documentary. It is so good that you were my customer on this trip. I will use my real name to withdraw from the CCP.”
I turned into a different person whenever I clarified the truth. I could talk with logic and endless wisdom. The more I talked, the more confidence I had. Every day I talked not just with taxi drivers, but also with colleagues, friends, and clients.
Eliminating Attachments
In the beginning of talking to people about Falun Gong, I had no informational materials with me. This made me realize that it is very important to produce and hand out information about Falun Gong, so I bought the equipment to produce materials.
The printers I bought created difficulties. As I needed the materials for people in my Fa-study group, I realized that I had to look within and find my attachments.
I remembered an incident with a taxi driver. I looked down on that driver and resentfully talked to him about Falun Gong. Wasn't this practicing the CCP culture? Where was my compassion? I had lowered myself to the level of an average person when I felt angry.
Besides, I also had a conflict with a fellow practitioner and felt resentment towards her. I thought she did not accept my good intentions, so I ignored her. I ignored her even when she greeted me and we eventually stopped communicating altogether.
I realized that I was lacking compassion. I only saw other practitioners’ shortcomings and ignored their good points. I handled conflicts with human notions, which indicated that I was not in line with the Fa and had not improved my xinxing.
Attachments included showing off, competitiveness, resentment, jealousy, being afraid of trouble, seeking fame, and looking down on practitioners.
Fellow practitioners are one body, so we have to cooperate and help each other. I was so ashamed. I had strong human notions and was selfish. I had to remove those attachments and apologized to my fellow practitioners.
I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate those attachments and my mind became calmer.
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Category: Improving Oneself
