(Minghui.org) I always had a bad temper and only thought of how to enjoy myself. My husband complained to my sister that I frequently fought with him. Sometimes I became so enraged that I threatened him with a knife and I also threw away many valuable things. After we finished fighting, I always felt exhausted. I began to feel that life was very tiresome.
When I went to my sister's home in 1999, she was attentively listening to a recording of Master Li's (Falun Dafa's founder) lectures. She showed me the book, Zhuan Falun which she invited me to read.
When I opened the book I read the following paragraph. Master said,
“'It’s hard to endure, but you can endure it. It’s hard to do, but you can do it.' And that’s really how it is. When you go back you might want to give it a try. When you’re going through an awful tribulation, or maybe a critical juncture, give it a try. When it’s hard to endure, try to endure it. When it seems impossible to do, or just hard to do, give it a try and see just what you can do.” (Zhuan Falun).
The words touched me. A few days later my husband yelled at me about a trivial thing in front of my mother-in-law and brother-in-law. At that time, I remembered the word, “forbearance” and I felt a rush of energy which started in my heart and flowed to the top of my head. Instead of becoming tense and angry, I felt very calm and relaxed. I knew that my husband was verbally abusing me, but I remained calm and it felt like he was yelling at someone else. If this had happened before, I would have fought back. When my husband saw that I remained calm and tolerant, he repeatedly apologized and even complimented me.
I realized that Falun Dafa was special, so I asked my sister to bring me the book Zhuan Falun. I began to study the Fa and examine myself for shortcomings whenever I encountered conflicts. Instead of fighting, I became kind and broad-minded. My mother-in-law said, “Dafa is so amazing! I was sure that eventually you and my son would get a divorce. I should thank Master Li.”
My husband also experienced positive changes and became good tempered.
I realized that as practitioners, we should measure our every thought and action based on the Fa; only this way can we truly become compassionate.
Practicing Forbearance
My mother-in-law has a bad habit: she likes to go through other people's things. Sometimes, she takes money or other items. Her children all knew about this but no one wanted to speak up. So, every holiday her other children refused to invite her to their homes. Because she lived alone I felt bad for her, so every holiday I invited her to our home. I was very respectful and treated her well. She told everyone that I, who am only a daughter-in-law, treated her better than her own daughter did.
When it was almost time for this year's Lantern Festival, I reminded my husband to ask my mother-in-law to stay in our home for a few days. At first, my husband refused. I said his mother might be unhappy since she'd be alone during the holiday. I suggested that we should be respectful and invite her.
My mother-in-law came. I soon noticed that she had taken some things that belonged to our child. However, I was surprised when she took my only one-hundred yuan bill. I thought, “I've treated her so well, and she respects Falun Dafa and the truth-clarifying materials. She has also quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations.” For example, if she noticed that a Falun Dafa poster was not put up properly, she would straighten it out and make it look better. I thought she would not steal from me. I didn't even want to look at her. I thought, “No one else wanted to invite you, but I did. Perhaps next time I won't.”
I felt very uneasy and I wasn't sure how to handle this, so I kept reading the Fa.
Master said,
“If trouble really befalls you and it looks like somebody is wronging to you, I think it could well be that you, a cultivator, owed it from a previous lifetime. Endure it (ren) and let it go.” (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Switzerland)
“We cultivators always let things happen naturally. If something is yours, nobody will take it away, and if something isn’t yours, you won’t be able to get it even by fighting for it. Of course, that’s not absolute. If it were that absolute, there wouldn’t be a question of people doing wrong. So in other words, there could be some unstable factors. But you’re a practitioner, so under normal circumstances you are looked after by your teacher’s Law Bodies. If other people want to take your things they won’t be able to budge them. So that’s why we just let things happen naturally. Sometimes you think that something is yours, and other people tell you it is, when in fact it’s not. So maybe you think it’s yours but it turns out it’s not. That will reveal whether you’re able to let it go. If you can’t let it go it’s an attachment. That method has to be used to get rid of your attachment to personal gain—that’s the idea.” (Zhuan Falun).
I thought it over. I realized that perhaps in a previous life, I treated my mother-in-law that way and so this time, I was re-paying the debt. Wasn't this a good thing? I also found my attachments of jealousy, fighting, resentment, and seeking revenge.
As a practitioner, when I saw my mother-in-law had this problem of taking what didn't belong to her, then shouldn't I examine myself to see if I had this problem, too? I looked within and realized that although I didn't steal anything, I did touch other people's things out of curiosity. I had also secretly read my daughter's diary since I was worried that she might fall in love too young. What I did was similar to what my mother-in-law was doing. She was acting as a mirror through which I could see my own problems!
After I came to this realization, I felt compassion flow through me. I felt calm and relaxed. I am thankful to Master and Dafa for showing me what true compassion is! I no longer have any resentment for my mother-in-law and we continue to enjoy a cordial relationship.
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Category: Improving Oneself
